Never Lose Me
by Rachel3
Summary: A 7th year Gryffindor girl feels like she belongs in Slytherin...and has past-life remembrances of being Snape's lover in many different times. A story of obsession and how far some people will go.^_^'Dark and disturbing.Later chapters may be rated R.
1. Strange

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter One: Strange  
  
A/N: I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane(pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ The song is my own. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, by the way, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody.^_^ It was written for another purpose.but it fit the story well.  
  
  
  
'Do you think I'm not gonna make it? (repeat 3x) I won't make it without.you.. Do you think that I can't take it? (repeat 3x) I won't take it without you. Do you think I'm fakin' these feelings? I can't fake loving you.. Can't fake it. (repeat 3x) No,no. I will never lose this love. Do you think I'm gonna lose it? (repeat 3x) I can never lose it. You will never lose me. Do you think I don't mean it? (repeat 3x) I swear I do mean it. You will never..lose me. Even when horror knocks on my door. Even when I can't stop the pain. Even when this depression takes me deeper than ever before. You are the only light that keeps me alive. You will never lose me.'  
  
The young woman walked softly down the halls to her next class, Advanced Potions. She both loved and dreaded it, and her reasons were all focused on its' teacher, Severus Snape. The girl shook her head softly, trying not to think. The 7th year Gryffindor should have hated the class completely, with fervor, as the others did. But this one didn't. She didn't remember exactly when she had felt those feelings first...she couldn't remember a time at Hogwarts when she hadn't experienced them. Running one small hand through waist-length brown hair she sighed, and opened the door, quietly taking her seat. She knew that he hated the Gryffindors like herself, which had gotten even worse since Harry Potter had came to Hogwarts in her second year. But there was an air of mystery about the man that she, always attracted to darkness in a way that she'd always thought would make her a Slytherin, found fascinating. Perhaps she should have been a Slytherin, he favored them. Her large green eyes focused suddenly upon the door to class.  
  
  
  
"Ah. Miss Jiyn." Came a cold voice from the door. Rhane nodded a greeting, and then began to study her desk. ' Early again.Always early.' The Professor wondered about the odd Gryffindor who constantly tried to blend into anonymity. Shaking his head, he sat down at his desk and waited for the rest of the students. He suddenly realized just how strange this might look to someone who didn't know better- a male professor and a young female student, alone in the class. 'Why does that send an odd ring of truth through me? I would never do anything with a child like her-especially a Gryffindor child.would I?' Shaking his mind free of such disturbing thoughts, he wondered if he had eaten something that was affecting his intelligence. After all, such thoughts would never be suspected of one such as the Potions Master. Shaking his head again, he promptly 'forgot' them.  
  
Rhane kept having dreams...they were more than dreams, she knew. More like a cross between premonitions and past-life remembrances. In them, she was herself and someone else at the same time, and always with Snape, though it wasn't always his name. She remembered him as Salazar Slytherin, for one. The girl Rhane was experiencing things as if she was a girl named Rithia Alger, and had been the first one expected to be a Slytherin, and when sorted into Gryffindor by Godric and the others' decision, her past life's lover, Salazar, left. She remembered her tears...and the discovery that she was pregnant with not only an illegitimate child, but an illegitimate Founder's child, and she but a student. The dream had been too vivid to forget and too intoxicating to ignore. Her emerald eyes flamed in remembrance. Then a sharp noise awoke her. Snape had just slammed his hand down on her desk. The lesson was mid-way over, and she was supposed to have begun her potion.  
  
"Most unlike you, Miss Jiyn." He said quietly, almost sarcastically. Loudly, he spoke so the class could hear. "Detention, and twenty points from Gryffindor." He turned and continued his rounds as tears stung Rhane's glistening eyes. She was crying both because of the soft, cruel tone of his words to her, and because of the hatred he showed all Gryffindors.  
  
As the brunette exited the class, tears pooled in her deep eyes, she ran into someone. A very slender, cruel someone.  
  
"So...crying in class, eh, Jiyn?" Draco Malfoy drawled evilly, then leaned closer. "I know your little secret. I know all about what you feel when you see Professor Snape. And don't you forget it." Smirking, he turned, snapped his fingers for his cronies, who appeared instantly, and was on his way, leaving a torn and devastated Rhane behind.  
  
That night, Rhane dreamed a disturbing dream yet again, though different than the previous dream. This time she was a princess, the daughter of a powerful, temperamental king. Snape was her father's Court Wizard, and she could feel the burn of his dark eyes upon her everywhere she went. One day, the princess-her((as in the princess which Rhane was experiencing things as)) realized she could use magic. Frightened, the princess fled into the arms of the wizard, and a very strange intrigue began. Keeping the relationship secret was difficult enough...but when her father betrothed her to a strange, pale young man with a lecherous, malicious sneer, she refused to deny anything any longer. She attempted to flee with her lover and witnessed the most tragic thing of all...on the steps of the Royal Palace, she was trapped by two guards as he was stabbed to death.reaching for her.the flame in those inky eyes dying out... She saw, then, her bitter tears...the elaborate wedding to the cruel young king of another land...she saw herself bear a child...not the blonde's...a dark haired, dark eyed, olive-skinned child that was obviously the wizard's. She saw herself, distraught, give the boy to a trustable, loving servant, and then saw herself with a dagger...one that the wizard had once given her, all silver-toned and dotted with red gems. She saw herself look longingly at the dagger...then she was in the highest tower in the palace...just as she plunged it into her heart, the blonde who was her husband entered, and his sneer turned to a look of pure shock and twisted hatred. The dream seemed to last an eternity and an instant, all at once.  
  
Rhane awoke from the dream drenched in sweat and salty tears. She had begun to notice something, though. In every dream, she bore Snape's child...and then, due to death or other circumstances, they were separated from one another. Did this mean something? If it did, its' meaning frightened her. "Why do I dream such odd dreams about you, Severus Snape?" the confused girl whispered, too quietly to wake the other girls in her dorm, who generally avoided her anyway, due to her 'wierdness.'  
  
Walking to the Great Hall, she kept thinking about the blonde in her dream. Now that Rhane really considered it, he was always in her dreams, as well, just as Snape was...but the young man was always the antagonist, rather than the protagonist. Rhane could not shake the feeling that his face was very familiar, and finally she stored the information in a little corner of her brain and sat down in the corner of Gryffindor table nearest to Slytherin table. She ate breakfast rapidly and left for her first class of the day, Advanced Transfiguration. The brunette girl sat down quietly and opened her textbook, studying the day's lesson. It looked difficult, especially to someone whose mind was in the Potions dungeon, with another Professor altogether. Her mind kept wandering, and finally she shut the book. Rhane needed something to do...Looking around, she saw that the rest of the class was here, which seemed odd. Very odd and definitely ominous. She was never really early to this class and there were always some others here when she arrived, but now, they were all here and the room was full. Professor McGonagall stood at the center of the room and began to go over the lesson.  
  
"Today, we will be learning how to transfigure a deadly plant into a harmless object. Yes, you will decide what to transform it into, just be sure it's harmless." She produced the plant, which was obviously highly poisonous, as she had on anti-poison gloves as well as something similar to a gas mask. She then gave out the same equipment-gloves and mask-to every student, and then set a small plant on each desk. Unhappily, Rhane began the task. Forty-five minutes later, her plant was only slightly different, while everyone else's had begun to take on another shape. She forced herself to think of something harmless-a potions bottle, yes, that was it...Suddenly, she began to hear whispers and giggles around her. Looking down, Rhane saw why immediately. Instead of a bottle, her plant had taken a noticeably different form-that of Professor Snape's head. Tears stung her eyes again, but she continued working, even when the teacher raised an eyebrow and asked the girl if she simply didn't think Snape was dangerous. She replied that she thought he was, but that his head alone wouldn't be, after all, being disembodied. This caused more laughter, and even a slight twitch at Professor McGonagall's mouth. Rhane was thankful indeed when the class ended, and she melted back into anonymity...until noon, when Malfoy once again approached her in the hall.  
  
"So...transfiguring dangerous plants to look like Snape? Tut, tut...you'll give your secret away..." He sneered. "My father always said your family was a misfit lot...always mooning over teachers and such...your mother, for instance, was said to have a crush on one of her professors...Of course, she didn't marry him or anything. But you...my father says you're a born Slytherin, put in the wrong house. I don't agree with him...your foolishness is Gryffindor, through and through." The blonde laughed cruelly.  
  
"Don't you every listen to anyone but your father?" Rhane retorted sharply, then turned and vanished into the hall that led to the Gryffindor Common Room before the tears could be seen. She had never known that her mother had loved a Professor...never...  
  
That night was fraught with the bewildering dreams, as well. This time, Rhane was the daughter of a wealthy man in a small peasant village. Snape was a man who lived near her, and a practitioner of magic, though only she knew it, for he was training her in the same arts, despite the desperate fear the commoners had of the stuff. They grew closer and closer, until their meetings were not restrained to merely spells and other such things. They planned to run away and wed in a faraway city he had once visited. Just as she discovered she was pregnant, the witch-hunters arrived. They sought Snape out and took him to the village square, declaring that he would have a trial. She ran forward, wishing to die with him, claiming she, too, was a witch, but he, to her horror, denied it all. Yet, even so, she saw the love in his dark eyes, so cleverly concealed, and heard the silent plea to care for his child when he was gone. She saw that he was resigned to his fate, and tears sprang to her eyes as she fell to the ground. He was killed, drowned without the chance to cast a spell or use an herb to save himself. She was so deeply rooted in sorrow that even her marriage to the son of the Mayor, a slim, silver- blonde young man with a permanent sneer, didn't faze her. When her son was born, however, she saw the fear and anger in his eyes as he realized who the child's father was, and she took the child and ran away in the night. The dream faded, and Rhane woke up. 'Again.that blonde.always there to bring me more pain, always there to discover my child wasn't his. Why?' She sighed, the feeling of déjà vu a bit too close for comfort. The young woman wondered-just what was in store for her? Were these just dreams? Were they prophecies...or past lives? Rhane sat down at her desk in Advanced Divination, praying that the stares she was receiving had nothing to do with the Snape-plant...though she had a feeling they did, unfortunately. 'Just let me live through Potions class later today.' She prayed.  
  
Authors' Note: Updating and editing this story.^_^lol.oh, and I'm sure most people can feel affinity with Rhane a bit-ever done anything HORRIBLY embarrassing and have EVERYONE know, and just want the day to end? I have.repeatedly, in fact.lol^_^ 


	2. Whispers

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Two: Whispers  
  
A/N: Again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane(pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, by the way, and pauses a lot, just like the other one^_^'.very melodramatic and moody.^_^ This one was a combination of other life things and an intention to make another song for this story.^_^  
  
'Do you have to say those things? I know you mean them. I can't hear myself anymore. Can't hear anymore.(3x) Lost in devotion to you. Only you.(3x) Why do we have to talk about it? I don't wanna talk about it. Don't wanna talk.(3x) The words don't make sense. They never say what I mean. So why do we have to talk about it? Don't wanna talk.(3x) I love you. Yes,it's unfortunately true. Unfortunately true.(3x) Don't reprimand me. Or ask that I change my feelings. Do we have to talk about it? Don't wanna talk.(3x) You say 'no no' And I can only cry and reply 'yes yes' I can't live in a world without you. Do we have to talk about it? Do we have to talk? (3x) Won't talk about it.(3x) I..love.you.  
  
  
  
As she walked down the halls and the stairways to reach the dungeons, Rhane kept hearing her name. Whispers abounded all around her, and she began to feel dizzy when, upon her entrance into the Potions dungeon, all heads turned to face her and sixteen pairs of eyes (those of her classmates) turned upon her, peering intently and gossiping quietly among themselves. She--was late? She felt a sudden weakness come over her. Either she was late-no, impossible-or they were early. But why?  
  
"I heard she-" one voice whispered. "So did I-and the worst part is, I think she-" Said a female, squeaky voice a bit louder. "I heard that her mother-"Another quiet voice said. "I can't believe she could possibly-"trilled a very disgusted voice.  
  
Then, Severus Snape stepped into the classroom from the connected room. His eyes found the still-standing Rhane, and looked very disapprovingly at her with dark eyes shining coldly. The brunette couldn't bear it anymore. Clutching her books to her, Rhane turned, and fled from the dungeon, blind to where she was and what direction she was taking. She reached a dead end, and slumped against the wall, tears flowing freely without any sound, books still clutched in her arms, which trembled slightly as her body shook with the silent sobs. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep.  
  
Another dream. She was a young beggar-woman turned thief on the streets of a very large bustling city. One day, a noble came to the city. Not paying much attention, she ran through the streets.and crashed into someone who appeared to be attempting to stay off the main roads. Dark hair and eyes, olive-complected, and wearing a simple brown robe, she assumed that he was some religious man or another.and when he asked for her to hide him, she agreed, feeling sympathy for the older man who seemed almost childlike in his naïveté of the ways of city-life. Several days later, she heard that the noble had gone missing and began to suspect the man was the noble. However, she didn't say anything and continued training him in her way of life. Then, while showing him an escape move one day, he leaned over, caught her about the waist, and snogged her. She was too shocked to do anything but respond in the same way. After that, their relationship took a decidedly less professional course, and she forgot completely that he might just be of noble blood.until several months later. She had just realized she was pregnant, and he had been thrilled at the news.then, a convoy of guards showed up. They knew who he was, and were there to return him to his kingdom, whether he liked it or not. He refused, holding her protectively and adamantly swearing never to leave her side. They pulled him away, struggling, and, to his complete horror and anger, slapped her to the side, then pulled a sword. Laughing cruelly, the blonde soldier stabbed her through the stomach. She screamed and reached for her lover. He jerked free of the soldiers and crouched at her side. Then, he pulled his own sword and did something unexpected by the guards..he ran the sword through his own heart, and fell, her hand still entwined in his, while she whispered with her dying breaths.No.no.no.  
  
She awoke to a slap across the cheek, which, upon opening her eyes, she found had originated from none other Draco Malfoy.  
  
"So.now you're running away.tut,tut, again, Miss Jiyn. That'll only make it worse." He sneered and his eyes flared with pleasure at his little sadistic game.  
  
"Where're your cronies today? On holiday? I hope not, you aren't nearly as frightening without them." Rhane stood up and proceeded to walk past Malfoy proudly. He caught her arm rather roughly, though and whispered, his voice slightly desperate and ringing of anger and-oddly-truth.  
  
"I still haven't told your secret, though. The whispers today are about that plant in Transfiguration, not your real secret. I still have the upper hand, Jiyn, and don't forget it."  
  
"How could I, Malfoy, when you keep reminding me?" She retorted, then wrenched away from him, rubbing her arm, where a red handprint stood out against pale skin, and continued on her way.  
  
Rhane didn't hear any laughter, so she guessed her barb had struck home.or perhaps Malfoy was in a confused mood. It didn't matter. She just prayed she didn't run into Professor Snape.  
  
At lunch, she decided to go into the library to avoid all the awful whispers and rumors that were flying, most about her. However, she would come to regret her choice later.  
  
"Miss Jiyn, I believe I need to speak to you."  
  
Rhane jumped, closing the book she held, and twisted around to see none other than Professor Snape. She'd known it was him, by that smooth voice, but had been praying that her ears deceived her.  
  
"Don't move. I'm sure you hear me well enough, and I can hear you.This is about today's...events. As interesting and surely upsetting as having it whispered that you made a plant look like me must be, it doesn't give you reason to leave my class. You have a detention, I trust you'll serve it shortly...Out of curiosity-why did that plant look like me, Miss Jiyn?"  
  
"I.well.it was a mistake. I meant to make a potion bottle, but when I thought of potions-" "I popped up. I see. Make sure it doesn't happen again-whispers, Miss Jiyn, are not good for teachers, either." He turned and walked briskly out, leaving Rhane to wonder exactly what the teachers had been whispering- or accusing- him of..  
  
Professor Snape walked out of the library, feeling slightly better. The girl had a detention now, maybe the other professors wouldn't be so suspicious. It never occurred to him that giving her a detention with him might be even more suspicious, considering that it meant they would be alone together. His mind just wasn't thinking that way. Perhaps it should have been, because the whispers and accusations only got worse once the others found out his punishment.  
  
"Severus.if you really are going beyond the bounds of teacher-student relationships, you know what will happen to you." McGonagall repeated for the third time that hour, a severe, worried look upon her face.  
  
"My dear woman, I know precisely what would happen, which is beside the point, considering that I would never even dream of having any sort of relationship, romantic or otherwise, with any of the brats that attend this school."  
  
"Even if that student were enamored of you?"  
  
"Even if that student was of my own House, no. And certainly not one of your House-regardless of what foolish little emotions they held for me. It would be their misfortune, and none of my own. Now, if you don't mind, I do have work that needs attending to."  
  
Arms crossed, Professor McGonagall left the room, obviously not quite convinced.  
  
Relieved of the burden of interrogation at last, Snape sank into his chair, and rested his head on the table, covering his eyes with his hands.  
  
"Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this?" The professor sighed. And of course, he dare not fall asleep right now.those dreams he'd been having lately were stranger than his real life and he'd begun to wonder if someone wasn't poisoning him or some such thing. Perhaps he was ill. Shaking his head, he decided some research might be in order. 


	3. Why?

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Three: Why?  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even.^_^ This one was also a combination of other life things and an intention to make another song for this story.^_^  
  
'Wind whistles through my hair My mind races Yet..all is pointless. If you aren't here.  
  
You say it's wrong You say I should stop You say I'm toying with you I say why? Why do you believe these things? Why(3x)  
  
My heart beats faster I can't control my love I feel the tears in my eyes Yet.I only. Live for you.  
  
You say it's wrong You say I should stop You say I'm toying with you I say why? Why do you believe these things? Why(3x)  
  
Why don't you see I love you? I'd die for you, lie for you. Beg, steal, cry for you. Why? Why can't you see. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth.  
  
I feel myself go cold. I'm shaking with fear and something more I see only you. My world spins out of control. You say it's wrong You say I should stop You say I'm toying with you I say why? Why do you believe these things? Why(3x)  
  
Why can't I love you? Why can't we be seen together alone? Why? Why? WHY?'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Rhane woke up with wide eyes. That dream had been--to say the least, odd. She had been a white-winged woman by day-and a punkish gothic-looking woman by night, the wings invisible. Snape had been a tall, slim man with a huge scar down his face, marring rather attractive features, and dressed in a long crystalline-patterned black coat, under which a greatly buckled-down shirt and form-fitted black velvet pants were worn. His boots were covered in buckles and straps. His hair was slightly long, and fell over his eyes often. When she was the 'angel' he was her protector-when she was the 'devil' he was her teacher. Yet, something began that both sides wanted. She fell in love with the man, and he began to fall for her. They became lovers in both of her forms. She soon found herself pregnant, but was alright with it, because he had vowed to never leave her side. Then, one day, while her angelic form was picking flowers, she was taken prisoner by a slim, pale young man with silvery-blonde hair and a laughing sneer. He vowed never to let her get away, even if it meant her death, and Snape couldn't rescue her. He tried.and was executed right before her eyes, the day before their child was born. When the little boy was born, her kidnapper despised it and wanted it killed. But she hid the child among the servants whom she'd befriended. They couldn't help her, but they could help her son, and for that she was grateful. Never allowed to go out alone, she soon began to waste away, both because she refused to eat and because her heart was broken, and the depression was taking her so deep into itself that she would never break free. Less than a year later, she died, to the disgust of her captor, and left only a beautiful, angelic body behind that had obviously wasted away. The dream ended in a swirling darkness.  
  
"Again-with the child, and the death. Why? I don't...no, can't understand what this is all about. Why do I feel this way? Is all love merely a curse? No...no..." Rhane whispered, holding her head and clenching her eyes. "Love may be a curse, but--it is a blessing too--yes..." Shaking her head slightly, the girl pulled herself out of bed. Suddenly, her green eyes flew open and she began to hurriedly dress. She had forgotten to do that stupid project! If she didn't finish and turn it in on time, she was dead ! Hastily, Rhane pulled back her long hair and raced towards the library.  
  
Professor Snape, meanwhile, was attempting to research his 'problem.' Unfortunately, he had yet to find anything in any of the spellbooks, even those of the Restricted Section, that would help. The professor was becoming more and more frustrated, and repeatedly pushed small strands of unoffending hair violently from his forehead, only to repeat the gesture moments later. Tiny beads of sweat ran down his face as he felt a dream trying to overtake him. 'NO.' Snape shook himself then glanced up. A chill ran through every bone in his body as he saw Rhane enter. She, too, saw him, and froze.  
  
"Irith." He whispered, but he saw her eyes widen. Did she know the name? 'Impossible-I've just called her the girl's name from my dream last night, she couldn't know." The professor attempted to convince himself, forcing his eyes back to the spellbook he was researching.  
  
'He-called me Irith. He did. But-that was who I was in last night's dream! He couldn't possibly-could he? No, of course he couldn't." She nodded stiffly and vanished into another section of the library to work on her project.  
  
Severus Snape took that opportunity to quickly stand and nearly race from the library, though still no closer to knowing what was the matter with him. Little did he know, Professor McGonagall had watched the whole thing with one brow raised slightly, from behind a book at a small round table. "Hmmm." She murmured to herself softly.  
  
Rhane was finishing her work when a hand gripped her shoulder. From its chill, she knew its owner. "Draco Malfoy, take your hand from my person immediately."  
  
The soft, slippery velvet voice reached her ear. "And if I do not, Rhane Jiyn?"  
  
"Then I shall scream. The librarian won't put up with your accosting me in the library."  
  
Malfoy thought for a moment, head tilted so that his silvery blonde hair fell over his face slightly. He had let it grow a tiny bit, perhaps for style, who really knew, with Malfoy? He didn't remove his hand, though, merely tightened his grip, making Rhane clench her teeth slightly at the pain.  
  
"I shall cover your mouth, then. I still have another hand, you know." So saying, he clamped the other hand across her mouth tightly. "And now what shall you do? Oh, wait-you can't say anything, can you? Silly me." He sneered slightly, then leaned over next to her ear. "Your secret won't keep long, the way you carry on. Stopping and staring, all frozen- up! As if no one would notice. I assure you that your secret won't keep long this way."  
  
Rhane tried to make her eyes fierce, though she felt a bit panicked. Malfoy seemed to be acting even weirder than usual, and it frightened her. She attempted to bite his hand, which only solicited a laugh from the silvery haired boy.  
  
"Think that would hurt me? Pull the other one, it's got bells on." Draco gave a grin that lit his face up in such an evil-looking way that a bit of fear made its way through Rhane's mind into her expression, which made Draco laugh again. He leaned forward, his face once again next to her ear, and suddenly, without warning, bit her neck. His teeth, obviously, weren't pointed or anything-after all, act as he may, Draco Malfoy was human-but they still cut the skin slightly, mostly because of the harshness with which he bit. Just as quickly, he'd let go and vanished into the shelves, leaving Rhane wide-eyed and clutching a neck that would be sore for a bit of time. 'Why? Whatever possessed him to-to-to bite me?! I don't know what's going on, but I hope no one notices the teeth-marks-however would I explain them? And would anyone believe me? Doubtful.'  
  
Shakily, the brunette walked to the doors of the library, one hand rubbing her neck absently, the other clutching a paper so tightly her knuckles were white. Again, Professor McGonagall looked up, eyebrow raised with interest. "Hmm-hmm-hmmm."  
  
Author's note: Yes, that was an oddly short chapter for me, I suppose.^_^lol.Ah,well, I hope you liked it. I'm going to work on Chapter 4 now.^_^ PLEASE REVIEW!!!!And do try to be nice-even if you are criticizing, try to at least word it constructively,k?^_^thanks. 


	4. Confusion

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Four: Confusion  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' today and it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^  
  
'Light rushing past, so fast I cannot see- Please tell me what's to become of me.  
  
My heart with you is flying, Please don't let my soul be dying- Without you I am always sighing.  
  
Chaos is all my life is nowadays And if confusion stays - It's nothing new, complexities of sanity never mattered anyways  
  
So let the darkness catch me and keep me in its arms, Let me always embrace its charms- And though I love you, it isn't always your smile that disarms.  
  
So confused, emotions all mixed up Love to the point of worship- Yet darkness stirs and draws me to its lineup.  
  
I love you but something darker pulls me near, Despite all of my deep fear- It seduces and charms with a leer.  
  
So love me, and save me from myself Pull me of the shelf- Dust me off and keep me close to yourself.  
  
Never let me fall to the wayside, Even though I know you've never tried- To admit your feelings for me that none would abide.  
  
  
  
Rhane sighed as she walked to her Potions class. She didn't want to enter the room, didn't want to see Professor Snape. Rhane simply felt like curling up into a small ball and dying in a corner- it would be quicker and more painless than what she sensed would come to her. She scuttled into the classroom, head down, hair covering the bite mark that still showed on her neck beneath the ear. The brunette sat silently down at her desk and pulled out her notes from the previous day. Thankfully, she always took out her doodles each night and hid them in her trunk, which was kept locked. Otherwise, someone might have seen them, and that would have been far too much humiliation for her to bear. Hiding the bite and her affections for Snape was enough, Rhane needed no more to attempt to manage.  
  
"Miss Jiyn. I trust you did last night's homework for this class?" When she looked puzzled, his voice hardened even more. "The essay, Miss Jiyn?"  
  
"Oh! Of course!" Flushing brilliantly, she pulled it out and handed it to the Potions Master.  
  
"Thank you. Now that the last of the homework is in, let's get started."  
  
Rhane thanked whatever was protecting her from taunting and began to stir her potion. Fortunately it wasn't a terribly difficult one, though it was a long one, and she could let part of her mind wander.  
  
Again upon exiting, Rhane was confronted by Malfoy. This time, however, he was without Crabbe or Goyle. There was such a wild, angry aura around him that for the second time, Rhane felt frightened. He grabbed her wrists roughly, pulling her closer. "I have a letter for you." Draco whispered into her ear, his normally silken voice grating oddly. Letting go of her wrists, which now bore two red hand marks around them, he thrust a green envelope in her hands, turned and stalked away with all rapidity. She stared at the envelope, then at the fast retreating back. 'Whatever does all this mean? I swear-I cannot handle this stress-And there's no one to talk to, either.' The girl sighed. Her family was a broken one, her sister a violent Muggle who really honestly hated her, her father dead, her mother an invalid who had once been a powerful Witch. She felt a tear roll down one pale cheek and off her nose to splash on the stone floor below. Shaking her head, she turned towards her next class with renewed spirit-or at least an attempt at such a thing.  
  
Later, in her dorm, she sat all alone, as all the other girls were at a party down in the Common Room, staring at the still-sealed letter. Rhane knew she should open it. It must be opened, sooner or later. But whatever could it mean? Malfoy had been so-abusive lately, even moreseo than he was to anyone else. Even Harry Potter, Malfoy's worst enemy, didn't receive such violent treatment! It frightened and worried her, knowing what Malfoy's family was like. With trembling hands she ripped the seal and opened the letter:  
  
Rhane- I'm sure you're wondering why you're getting this letter. Imbecilic girl. Oh, and I KNOW it scares you when I do these things. Why do you think I do them? I ENJOY the look of fear in your green eyes, reflecting like emerald flames. I know I hurt you-physically at least-but that is, again, the point. I'm TRYING to treat you harshly. Don't expect things to get any better. Oh, and don't try to avoid me, either-I still know your secret that others only suspect, and I can still verify their suspicions. My father wholeheartedly supports me in all of this little cat-and-mouse game, my dear, so don't imagine he'll stop me from it anytime soon. After all, remember, he thinks YOU would have made a good Slytherin. YOU. Moronic man.  
  
Until Tomorrow, Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy  
  
Rhane stared in horror at the letter. She wanted to toss it away from her, recoil from it as if it were a snake that had bitten her, burn it- but she couldn't. It was only a letter, and it would serve to remind her of just how twisted Draco Malfoy really was. She looked at herself in the mirror. The bite mark was still there-in an ironic sort of madness, Rhane realized that a snake had bitten her- Draco was a Slytherin, whose symbol was a snake, and he had indeed bitten her. A tear rolled down her cheek. Then another, and another, and suddenly, she found herself wracked with silent sobs, holding her head in her hands, unable to stop. Confused, feeling hopelessly lost, the girl let herself fall asleep.  
  
Another dream-would they ever leave her alone? She was a warrioress, known for her ironically peaceful nature and short temper when it came to true evil. Loved by many, hated by few, the warrioress knew a man, the master of warcrafts, who had taught her the more subtle arts of the blade. She had once had a little crush, but now, as she saw him again, for the first time in five years, felt the crush blossom into love. She was seventeen now, and believed herself old enough for a relationship-after all, several of her younger friends were married, though they were only thirteen or fourteen. Everytime she looked into his coal-like eyes, she felt her heart flare up with passion. Finally, she managed to tell him, and, to her surprise, he felt the same way and had for a long time. However, there was a new obstacle-a pale, slim, silver-haired youth of around her age who her father had engaged her to due to his family's money. The Weaponsmaster ad she began planning to run away, working triply hard when they realized that she was pregnant. A sallow-skinned, raven-haired child would be very amiss to the blonde, they knew. However, they kept being delayed, and suddenly, the warrioress found herself married to the horrible, lecherous youth. She hated him, hated him more than life itself, yet it was almost impossible to see the one she loved, the Weaponsmaster. They kept up a secret tryst, meeting wherever and whenever it was possible, but one night, a month after her baby was born, which had raised many questions, brows, and tempers, her wretched husband caught them, and in a violent rage, slaughtered Snape right then and there. Screaming, the warrioress had in turn killed her husband and ran-from the town, the law, and the pain, with her son. The swirl of darkness again ended the dream- memory and Rhane woke with a realization.  
  
The silver-blonde was Draco. She felt chills run through her body upon this realization. "What does it mean? What?" Rhane whispered under her breath, confused and all tangled up inside.  
  
She dressed and exited her room, only to have her wrist caught again in a vice-like grip that had become all-too-familiar. "What do you want, Draco?" She whispered, a tinge of anxiety in her voice.  
  
"Oh, you mean you don't know?" His sneering tone made her wince. "You need a good seeing to, and you can take that whichever way you please."((ah,the joys of a British slang dictionary! Yes,that does have two meanings. Both of which could apply in this case.^_^)) He gave a rather lewd wink, and she felt, to her horror and anger, a blush spread to her ears, which caused him to laugh and clench her wrist even tighter, which she'd previously believed impossible.  
  
Rhane tried, disgusted, to pull away, but Malfoy reached around and grabbed her by the shoulder with the other hand, spinning her around to face him. He was a lot stronger than he looked, though perhaps only she knew it, since he normally traveled around with those big cronies, as if he were a weakling. "Bugger off, Malfoy. I don't have time to play your sick little game."  
  
"Oh, but you will, unless you want me to tell everyone of your little.devotions towards Professor Snape." In the semi-darkness of the early morning, his teeth gleamed, white and disturbing. He moved one arm to draw nails that were slightly longer than a typical male's across one cheek, making sure they cut ever so shallowly into the tender, now ashen flesh there. Draco laughed, just loud enough for her to her. As a crystalline tear leaked from her eye, he leaned over and solemnly licked the tear from the scratched cheek, tasting salt and the coppery taste of blood. "I suppose I shall rendezvous with you later, dear." Malfoy sneered the last word, and gave a little cruel chuckle as he released her from his binding grip. She touched her face and shivered, frightened out of her mind, feeling her heart beating fast with fear and confusion amidst the tattered chaos that was her life. Without realizing it, she was walking near Potions class, and suddenly, Rhane felt her body collide into someone else's, knocking her back slightly. She looked up to find none other than Professor Severus Snape staring down at her. Their eyes locked, and electricity seemed to flow in the air, sparking and crackling. Unwanted tears flowed from her eyes yet again and she wanted to turn and run, but found herself caught in his gaze.  
  
Snape looked the girl over closely. She was so like the ones who invaded his normally solemn, studious mind each night-why? His attention was drawn away from this by the notice of a bite mark on her neck, beneath the ear, and fresh scratch marks on her cheek, as well as obviously recent still-red hand marks on her wrist. Who had done this to her? Surely not a student? But-this looked familiar. Who had treated the girls like this? Suddenly, he remembered. Lucius. Lucius Malfoy. So had his son done this? Draco? And why did it make anger blaze up deep within? Why should HE, Severus Snape, Potions Master, care what the silly little boy chose to do in his time? What victims he chose? Instinctively, Snape knew if it had been any other girl, he would have not payed it any more mind. Why was she so important? Shaking his head, the professor nodded curtly to Rhane and stepped back within his classroom.  
  
Rhane stared after him, her confusion and pain for a moment banished by happiness. Sighing, she continued to her next class, not even thinking or caring what the other students might say about the marks Draco had left on her. After all, what did it matter what they thought? She knew who she loved and who she hated, and that was all there was to know. The most disturbing thought that came to her mind was that, had it been Severus Snape leaving these marks on her, she would have bore them proudly. That worried her far more than the thought of her classmates foolish assumptions.  
  
Author's Note: Ah,the dark disturbingness.^_^ Hope you all are enjoying as the story spirals as planned into the slightly depraved realms of obsession.^_^ That's a bit what this story's all about,really. ^_^One of the major themes, at least.^_^ Have fun! Please review!^______^ 


	5. Layers

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Five:Layers  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' yesterday inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^Ah,time for a little bit of what's on Snapey's mind.Whee.^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^'  
  
  
  
'What you see is never what you get, I hope you won't regret. Loving me will not be easy or fair But then, you aren't easy to love either.  
  
You could try a little harder to show it You could say that you know it. But you're covered up in layers of pride Even though I know it, I can't get inside.  
  
Love, you say, means nothing to you. But I know you feel it too. If you don't save me I am lost to the pain, Feels like I'm drowning in a flood of red rain.  
  
Save me, please I know beneath that cool layer may be twenty more like it, But know that I'm begging you on my hands and knees, In the darkness I'm lost in, keep a candle lit.  
  
You could try a little harder to show it You could say that you know it. But you're covered up in layers of pride Even though I know it, I can't get inside.  
  
Let me in, underneath all the layers I'm not one of those false and untruthful soothsayers. I won't say we're destined to be together, for in truth we're destined to lose But in the end, it's up to you to choose.'  
  
  
  
Severus Snape stared moodily out of the window. It was getting late, but he had not left the classroom, not wanting to move from the deep ponderings he was engaged it. Suddenly, he realized someone stood there, all alone, staring at her shoes. Rhane. The detention. He had almost forgotten. Looking at her there, caught in a single ray of light, made his blood run cold, and he felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead, which he quickly wiped away so as not to give away his calm composure. As she raised her head, he remembered what he'd noticed earlier- the marks that were definitely the result of Malfoy. He had figured this out for certain after having a Potions class with the boy, in which he'd overheard a few tidbits of conversation which proved that like father, like son, as he had suspected earlier. The Potions Master frowned slightly.  
  
"A-am I here late? I'm so sorry!" Rhane, taking his frown to mean displeasure towards her, frantically tried to make amends.  
  
"Calm down, child. No, I was merely thinking of something else. I want you to scrub the floor in here. Every last miniscule bit of it. Make it shine. I expect to be able to see my face in it."  
  
"Yes, sir." Rhane began working.  
  
Three hours and many glances between the two and then down again later, Rhane was finished. She walked up to Snape's desk to report that she was done.  
  
"Good. Out of curiousity-and only that-how did you get that-is that a bite mark?-and those scratches on your cheek?" He watched her reactions closely.  
  
"These?! Oh, I had a run-in with-with---with a rapid owl!" Rhane quickly made up, off the top of her head.  
  
"Are you sure you don't mean a sadistic and cunning boy? Those two seem to get mixed up all the time." The professor felt an ironic smile tug at one corner of his mouth.  
  
Rhane felt a crimson flush run across her features. "O-of course NOT! It was an OWL! It was!" She felt small, insignificant and silly.  
  
He raised one elegant, sleek eyebrow. "If you say so, Miss Jiyn, if you say so. But you really should see Madam Pomfrey-don't want to get any infections, do you?"  
  
Darn his solemn serenity! It wasn't RIGHT that someone could so easily see through the pretense and stories! Rhane nodded mutely and turned to go.  
  
Why did he feel like calling her back? What would he do if she stayed? Her detention was served, he knew he should let her leave now, as he would order of any other student. What was it about this insufferable girl that tugged at memories that lay buried beneath layers he had never known existed. Clutching at his head, the professor waved her onwards with one hand-or tried to. It seemed to only draw her over, filled with looks of pity-he didn't want her pity! Didn't need it! But-what DID he want? He shook his head as his mind tried to answer the question. "No-stay back!" Snape hissed softly through his teeth as she neared him.  
  
Rhane stared at the Potions Master, pity and worry clouding her eyes. Who would see this but her? None-they were alone. It didn't matter if she stayed back or not-did it? No-it couldn't. Walking slowly, purposefully, to his side, she wrapped her arms around him in a chaste, friendly hug, attempting to soothe whatever it was that disturbed him so.  
  
Snape felt a shiver run through his body, and the urge to hold her as she held him, to embrace her as if she were a lover, not a student-a CHILD!- but even as he tried to picture her as a child and push her away, the images of the girls from his dreams rushed at him. "NO! Stay away! Don't--- don't touch me-." Severus felt himself sink into the hug, unable to fight anymore. After a few moments a surge of willpower came to him, and he threw himself back, face flushed, panting slightly. "No. That will be-quite enough, Miss Jiyn. Please leave now."  
  
Rhane stared in disbelief. She had felt it, KNOWN that he, too had those---dreams. KNOWN that he wanted her to stay there and never go-and now-now he was telling her to leave! The brunette felt tears running like little rivers down her cheeks, so fast she couldn't stop herself. Embarrassed and upset, Rhane turned and ran towards the door.  
  
Suddenly, a gentle grip caught her wrist. How unlike Draco Malfoy's hand his was! So oddly warm, yet silky-smooth, with just enough force applied to keep her from moving farther, rather than hurting. She turned, eyes wide and slightly red from the crying, shimmering teardrops still resting on her cheeks.  
  
Tenderly, he brushed them away. "Please don't cry." 'What am I doing? I'm betraying everything! I shall lose my job for this-this foolish dream-following! It's as if-as if I'm not myself-as if I'm someone else. And so is she. What's HAPPENING to me?!' He felt completely out of control, as if he could not make himself stop. It was as if he was outside of his body, watching incredulously his own actions. Snape saw himself lean forward and felt his mental eyes widen in surprise. Surely he wouldn't-  
  
But apparently, he would. Rhane leaned forward as well, and their lips met in a soft brush, as two pairs of eyes closed tightly. Memories seemed to flood between them, not complete ones, but bits and pieces, all mixed up. Suddenly, they heard the door creak and jumped apart from one another as the present-day Severus Snape repossessed his body. 'Whatever have I done?' He turned to meet the flaming gaze of Draco Malfoy.  
  
The silvery-haired boy sauntered up and grabbed Rhane by the wrist. Snape saw the boy's fingernails cut into the tender skin, and winced slightly. Why did Malfoy treat her this way? And how much had he seen?  
  
"Come along, Rhane. After all-your detention is over, ISN'T it?" He spoke with such venom and confidence that all Snape could do was nod as the pompous youth dragged Rhane, still staring with those big green eyes, away from him.  
  
"Severus, you FOOL! What have you DONE? What HAVE you done?" He cursed himself for letting even a moments weakness allow him to do something like that, something that so clearly overstepped the bounds of teacher-student relationships. "NEVER AGAIN-never." With new determination, the professor continued to research the books he'd taken out of the library, hoping to discover whatever these strange memories, hidden so deep within, might mean.  
  
"You little imbecile!" Draco let a ringing slap fall across the unscratched cheek. "How could you?!" His voice sounded so accusing and- what else? Angry? But why would he care? He certainly didn't treat her as if he cared.  
  
Draco glared straight into her face, then violently shoved her into the wall and pinned her there by gripping her wrists so tightly that she heard herself cry out slightly at the sudden pain. Without warning, he slammed his lips into hers, so hard that she knew they'd be bruised later. He continued snogging her, knowing she could not escape. After several minutes, her eyes widened as she felt his teeth pierce her lip and a slow trickle of blood flowed from the wound. As he pulled away, she looked straight into his eyes-and what she saw there frightened her so badly she nearly screamed.  
  
"If you must know-Rhane---My father---he betrothed us a long time ago, and once I fought it. But then-then I saw you, and I realized it could be----fun. For me, certainly. Maybe not for you." He paused with a cruel little grin and slowly licked his lips, tasting her blood there. "I suppose I'm a bit like my father-I've been told he, too, enjoyed being--- aggressive with girls. Ah, well. It's enjoyable-for me. Your father, you know, was a Slytherin, your mother a Ravenclaw. No one really knows WHY you're a Gryffindor, and once I'm through with you, you'll be one in name only, my dear." Draco gave a little laugh that sent chills through her then released her wrists and walked swiftly away, leaving Rhane staring in sheer horror, unable to move, shaking with fear and shock. How could her parents have allowed her to be engaged to such a-a---SADIST? Surely they wouldn't--- but she knew, somehow, that they would, and had. Her father had been 'great friends' with Lucius Malfoy, she remembered, and had probably loved the idea. Suddenly, something clicked in her mind-this was the same as before-again, the repetitive cycle was upon her. Trembling fingers had, without her knowledge, reached up to touch the cut on her bottom lip, and now she absently licked her fingers. This had all happened before.  
  
"I will NOT let this happen to me AGAIN!" She yelled, not caring who heard or who wondered, though she knew they probably thought her insane. It didn't matter. What mattered was preventing history from repeating itself yet again at her expense.  
  
Snape's head snapped up as he heard the cry. What had Malfoy, in his jealousy and anger, done to her now? He wanted to run out, hold her tight to him, comfort her with his arms and love. Love? NO. He didn't love that silly schoolgirl, he DIDN'T want to comfort her. She could sort her own problems out. But he knew he was lying to himself, deep within, as a voice told him what an idiot he was. 'Whatever happened to the stoic, emotionless Severus that once was here? In his place, we have love-struck, worried Severus-the-sod, don't we? Fool.' He sighed and clenched at his forehead, knowing he could not stop THIS headache, no matter what he might do. Rhane had begun to peel away the layers of his mind, and he felt them unraveling completely and burning away, remembering more than he wished, knowing he had living through-suffered through-all of this countless times before, over and over, in each lifetime he'd lived. Ever since Salazar Slytherin- and---what was her name then?-Rithia. Rithia Alger, Gryffindor's first choice for student. And then on and on, different names, each of them, but the same twisted situation. And there was nothing he could do to prevent any of it. 


	6. Danger

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Six: Danger  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^Let's take a trip into Draco's mind and life, shall we? No? Sorry, too late, we are anyway.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' This chapter is PARTICUARLY twisted, as it deals with things from Draco's (sadistic, disturbed, twisted and obsessed, remember?) point of view. Ok, just warning you, so don't say it was unfair.^_^'  
  
  
  
'It's not you, it's what I see in you That scares me through and through. Disturbed, 'sick' and obsessed, Do you see now why I'm so distressed?  
  
But, no, you could care less if I'm having fun, You feel powerful, as if you've won. I can't stop you and you know it's true, It leaves me scared, shaking and blue.  
  
Please stop, please leave me alone, I fear if you hit me harder you'll break a bone. Please don't pursue this foolish engagement, I refuse to be any sort of servant.  
  
  
  
Draco sat in the Slytherin Common Room and simply seethed. How dare that little tart go and kiss Snape-SNAPE of all people! He tried to calm down, but he could feel heat nearly radiating from his body, and, from the corner of his eye saw several other Slytherin students looking at him oddly and whispering. His jaw twitched slightly. He'd show her! She couldn't get away with doing this to him! "She DOES need a good seeing to---both meanings, really." Draco whispered to himself.  
  
"What's the matter?" Crabbe asked, his deep, ignorant voice booming into the quiet yet turbulent depths of Draco's mind, shattering his train of thought. "You aren't flipping your lid on us, are you?" Draco sighed and merely shook his head.  
  
"Have to write some letters." He mumbled.  
  
Again he read the letter his father had sent him the previous day.  
  
*** Draco ***-  
  
Going mental over some silly girl? How---droll. Fortunately for you, the object of your little---attentions---happens to be engaged to you. Meaning that you can basically do as you please. Her father was a Slytherin and a good friend, and we felt our children should unite our families-the girl's mother disagreed, but it didn't matter much to us. So there you have it. Don't do anything that I wouldn't do-not that this means much.  
  
*** Lucius Malfoy ***  
  
Draco kept staring down at the letter, seeing but not feeling his hands clench and slightly wrinkle to paper. His silvery hair fell across his face, almost obstructing his vision, but he appeared not to care, deep in thought. He knew he was a sadistic sod---he'd at least inherited it naturally. His father was the same, he knew, so it didn't bother him.  
  
Coming to a conclusion on what he should do at last, Draco nodded to the others and went up to his room. He knew what awaited him- it awaited him every night. Those strange dreams, haunting him. Sighing, Draco changed into the black, silken pajamas he preferred, and slipped into bed.  
  
He was somewhere else, as usual. Far away---He sensed his power- incredible, immense. He stared across the land from the balcony, and wondered-was there anything he didn't possess, or couldn't, easily? He knew there was. HER. The girl, who, if not the most stunning he'd ever seen, was still pretty and seemed to have---something that just---TUGGED at him in a strange way. She WOULD be his.  
  
He found her, as he'd expected somehow, in the company of an olive-skinned man who seemed her senior by quite a bit-full of wizard-power, but not as much as his-with black hair and dark eyes. He challenged the man to a wizard-duel and laughed maniacally as he won. Clutching the girl to him, it excited him even more when she spit in his eye and held herself defiantly. As if she had any choice! Her lover was dead and she belonged to him. Though he knew she was tainted when he married her-against her will, of course-he still felt intense rage when she gave birth to a dark- complected son with inky hair and eyes. He intended to kill the child, but, before he knew what was happening, the girl was gone. He felt his heart go cold, and knew he had lost-felt as if he had lost since the beginning of time. The darkness swirled in and Draco dreamt no more.  
  
The next day, Draco knew exactly what he intended to do. He went through his classes in a near trance, though he made sure to pay attention in Double Advanced Potions, for fear of Snape guessing what was up. This time, when they exited the classroom, he hid himself in the shadows and followed Rhane. He knew where she was going, by instinct, perhaps. The moment she veered off into the dead-end hallway-her 'special place' where she hid from everyone, he realized-he stepped into place behind her, enjoying the knowledge that she knew he was there, and was very frightened of this fact. When they reached the wall, Rhane turned around, clutching her book in front of her like a holy talisman.  
  
"Wh-what do you want NOW, Draco?" She said softly, trying to be brave, he noticed.  
  
"Nothing that you don't already know about, dear." He had her pinned against the wall again now, and didn't show any hopes of moving. Draco smiled, knowing full well what effect this would have. He was beginning to really enjoy this little 'game.' Slowly, he reached out and took her chin in his hands, enjoying the way her eyes widened in fear.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm not going to KILL you or anything."  
  
"No-just make me WISH I were dead!" She spat.  
  
Where had she found the courage to say that? Draco felt a hint of anger, and the need to release it was strong. Withdrawing his hand from her chin, he hit her cheek with a stinging blow. "I'll have no such talk from my future wife."  
  
"I am no such thing!" But her voice was quieter now, not as confident. He gave her other cheek a ringing slap and reveled in the tears that flowed from those beautiful emerald pools that she had for eyes. Without really meaning to, he leaned forward and licked the tears from her cheeks, almost laughing at the look of revulsion in those same lush green depths. Draco smiled and grabbed her wrists, tightly again, then spun her around.  
  
"What are you--?" Her voice turned into a cry of surprise and pain as he hit her back with something that felt uncomfortably like a whip. It hit her three or four times, and to keep her mind from the pain, she wondered if it was, and soon found out as he turned her back around. It HAD been a whip- though, to get to it, Draco had removed his shirt and vest and now stood there, pale and slim and bare to the waist, sweating slightly. He smirked cruelly at her.  
  
"Those marks, at least, won't show. And if Snape finds out about THEM, I really shall have to hurt you. That was just for a kiss, there should be no reason for him to see your bare back. Even I haven't seen that- but I know there are welts crisscrossing it now, even though I hit you through fabric." He laughed. "Don't worry dear, be a good girl and maybe you'll get used to it---eventually. Plenty of time for that, especially once we're married, you know." He pinned her again to the wall, this time with his entire body, his lips seconds from hers, his skin far to warm- scalding, even, as if he had a fever---his breath even warmer, prickling her skin. "Please---don't kiss me again." She tried to turn her face aside, but there was nowhere for it to go.  
  
"But I will." He whispered devilishly, and, for the second time, brutally shoved his lips on hers for so long it felt as if she would die of suffocation. As he pulled back, he bit down, hard, and relished the sight of ruby blood beading on her lower lip.  
  
"Until tomorrow, mi amore.' Draco gave a maniacal little laugh, pulled back on his shirt and vest and winked lewdly, blowing her a kiss. "Don't think you'll escape our little liaisons, my dear. Besides, as I said before, I've been given full permission by Father. Have a nice day!" He turned and walked swiftly away.  
  
'I need to learn to control myself, I really do---I just get so---angry. So into the looks of horror and pain that I cannot stop. Perhaps Father shall say something of this. I should really write him back, anyway.  
  
He sat down and began to write.  
  
*** Father ***-  
  
I am following your instructions, though I've noticed---I tend to get a little over-into everything and lose control. It's as if I'm someone else, someone with a lot more reason to be vengeful than mere indulgence in sadistic tendencies. Is this normal, something you felt too? Advice would be much-appreciated.  
  
*** Draco Malfoy ***  
  
He nodded to himself as he sat in the chair by the fire of his Common Room and slowly drifted into sleep. 


	7. Hearts

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Seven: Hearts  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^Let's take a trip into Draco's mind and life, shall we? No? Sorry, too late, we are anyway.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' This chapter I hope shall be a bit lighter than the previous one as we return to Rhane's viewpoint. ^_^ Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for that last chapter-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. ^_^In this chapter we learn a bit more about the precise feelings of the characters.^_^' Just a tad.^_^  
  
THANK YOU :  
  
The-m-chick: You have really re-inspired me! Thanks for reading and encouraging me!^________^ Keep up work on your wonderfully sweet story!^_____^  
  
Lady Juleya: Thanks for being one of my first reviewers!^_^  
  
Aelis: You, too!^__________^  
  
Marvin: thanks!!!^_______^  
  
Clara: THANK YOU!!^_^  
  
Helena Darjeeling: THANKS!^__^  
  
HEN: Encouragement much appreciated!^___^  
  
Sabby: Yay! Glad you liked it!^______^  
  
Little One: THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT!!!!  
  
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Try not to be so emotional I say to myself as I walk down the hall Try to keep from being silly and tearful But I keep running into an invisible wall.  
  
I can't help myself from loving you So elegant and so refined My heart to you alone is true, You make me realize that love is indeed blind.  
  
Love knows not age nor station, Hearts fall without knowledge or cares And feel no discrimination. For you I'd bear all their hateful stares.  
  
Hearts can be dark and strive for love they can never truly possess, And though I hope my feelings for you aren't thus Someone else means to win me by duress. Though their actions are completely shameless.  
  
  
  
Rhane stared out the window, still disturbed by the events of the day before. Her back still ached, and she wondered what Madame Pomfrey would say if she tried to go in for treatment? Sighing, Rhane wished she knew what to do. Finally, the brunette decided to take a walk-it might soothe her mind, if not her body. She almost didn't notice where she was walking until it was too late. The Dungeons. Severus Snape's domain. Rhane knew she should turn and go, but something more than curiosity drew her. Again, she was someone else, someone who could not resist the lure of a lone Severus, especially when she knew no one else was awake yet. But Snape was- how she knew, Rhane couldn't tell.  
  
"And a bit of dragon's blood---yes, there it is---and---let's see--- ." He appeared to be mumbling to himself. Rhane watched from the doorway, silent as death. Her eyes took him in almost hungrily, when, suddenly, she stumbled for no apparent reason and knocked a small metal orb over. As it clanged against the stone, Rhane feared to look up, knowing her eyes would meet the piercing glare of Snape.  
  
'What was she doing here? Something seemed---to be drawing him to speak, and before he could think twice, his mouth was opening and words were spilling out.' "Why are you here?" He tried to make the tone sound reproachful and disapproving.  
  
"I-I don't know. I---." She looked away, fidgeting.  
  
'NOT again. No. Stop. THINK. You are NOT any of those fools in those freakish past memories. You can change things this time and not fall. NOT fall, you hear me?' But the other side, that side from the past, whispered, 'And leave her at the mercies of Draco Malfoy? You've seen his father's work and the beginnings of his. And it'll only get worse. Worse still if you abandon her to him, you know that.' 'I cannot---cannot---it is against all moral propriety! I will not.' During this mental battle, The professor had not payed attention to his actions and when he returned his mind to the present, he realized he stood in front of Rhane, one hand resting consolingly on her arm, which was slightly tensed as she looked up at him apprehensively with big green eyes.  
  
"I---What am I doing?" He whispered, more to himself than any other. Slowly, he shut the door behind her, almost without intention.  
  
Rhane felt her heartbeat speed up. 'What IS he doing? Is he, too, controlled by some long-dead souls that still live within his being, as I am? As perhaps Draco, twisted and obsessed as he is, also is? What emotion now shines within those smoldering eyes?' She reached out and slid her fingers into his, slowly sliding his arm down hers until they were holding hands. He looked shocked, and it almost made her laugh. Imagine, this man, this dark and reclusive Potions Master, being shocked at the mere feeling of fingers intertwined with his own!  
  
"I---I wrote you a poem, Prof---Severus." Rhane whispered, daring to call him by his first name. She wanted to erase some of the pain Draco had inflicted, and this seemed a good way. Not giving him time to react, she began. " Hearts filled with the past, Filled with regrets. Never knowing that behind each regret lies a world without threats. Never realizing love is love is love and can only be that which it is, be it dark or light. Hearts know when they are right. Pain or Pleasure all depends on the response of the other. Must be careful not to smother. Darkness, Lightness, pulls me to pieces. Cannot see through all the wishes. Must follow the heart no matter what anyone else says to stop me. Still, I fell as if I will never be allowed to just be." When she finished, slightly breathless, she looked up at him. His face seemed glazed, as if remembering something else, something once said, who knows how long ago. Snape leaned forward slowly and they embraced, as if in a dream, their lips meeting softly, sweetly. Suddenly, his hands touched the welts on her back and she let out a muffled scream.  
  
"What's wrong?" He whispered, all concern, the once cold exterior drowned for the moment by a softer, gentler Snape of a past life, another life.  
  
"I-it's nothing. Don't worry." She tried to give a charming smile, but it rang false.  
  
At that moment, they were interrupted by the sound of noise, far away. Snape felt himself snap back to the present and the sudden senses that hit him sent his mind reeling. Had he really done and said all those things? Yes---he had. 'And enjoyed it, too.' One side of his mind taunted. 'Perhaps. But---it's wrong.' Gruffly, he spoke to Rhane, unable to look at her.  
  
"It appears, Rh---Miss Jiyn, that it is time for Breakfast in the Great Hall. You should head there immediately." He risked a glance at the girl and instantly had to turn away, fear of embarrassment----or worse--- EMOTIONS----not allowing him to look up.  
  
"I---I suppose you're right, Sev---Professor Snape. Wouldn't want anyone to see us together, after all." Her voice trembled slightly, with a tint of bitterness that even Snape could pick up on. With that, she turned and walked swiftly from the Dungeons towards the Great Hall.  
  
  
  
Draco sat in his seat-at the Slytherin table, of course, where else?-- -and attempted to retain a look of contemptuous, calm arrogance. However, Crabbe and Goyle had both seen him tear and pick at the corners of a small piece of paper, obviously a letter, though from whom to whom they couldn't guess.  
  
'She's late---she better not have been with Snape. I swear---I don't know what's coming over me--." He clutched at his head, suddenly drew himself up and took off.  
  
"Where's he going so fast?" Crabbe asked Goyle, confused. Goyle shrugged. "Bathroom, I guess-he was holding his head. Headache, probably." He continued eating as much as possible, and with a shrug, Crabbe joined him. Draco was indeed in the bathroom. He was scrutinizing his face in the mirror, as if trying to see through himself into his own mind. Slightly longish silvery-blonde hair surrounded an oval face that was such a pale shade of ivory it looked as if he'd never seen the sun before. Smoky silverfish eyes stared, haunted, from his face. "What is it? WHAT?" Draco screamed at himself, feeling a breakdown coming. And indeed, he fell to his knees, allowing the tears to fall freely, confused and angry all at once. What was this feeling of fate, this thread drawing him into what seemed to be a never-ending cycle? He realized that, for all his sadistic obsessions with Rhane, he did love her---in a twisted way, yes, but love was love, be it healthy or no. And this love was anything but healthy, he knew---after all, it was HIM, Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy. It couldn't be healthy, just sadistic and disconcerting. He felt himself wracked with worries, insecurities, fears, and suddenly realized that no matter what, Rhane and Snape would NOT be together---ever---in THIS life. They had won for long enough to beget a child, to really consummate their relationship in each and every other lifetime---usually before he killed Snape or helped others do so---before he ever had a chance. Then, she would always die or escape him, leaving him spurned and embittered, unable to ever love anyone or anything until his death, when the cycle began again. She would NOT be Snape's this time. She would be HIS---his---and ONLY his. He smiled-an insane little grin---and stood. Draco could face the world again. Slowly, he opened the letter his father had sent him.  
  
*** Draco ***  
  
Hmmm, that does seem a bit odd, but---it's probably just your overzealous, youthful energies. Just keep on being you, and win the girl--- through truth or treachery, it doesn't matter, as long as you get what you want, right? Right. Besides, she'll be your wife in a few years, so it really doesn't matter, anyway.  
  
*** Lucius Malfoy ***  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Glad everyone's enjoying this fic!^___^Thanks so much!^_____^ 


	8. Leather and Lace

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Eight:Leather and Lace  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^Let's take another trip into Draco's mind and life, shall we? No? Wasn't FUN enough last time??? Sorry, too late, we are anyways.Again.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' The title is MEANT to be IRONIC.^_^_^^_^^_^ Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for that last chapter(or this one)-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. ^_^  
  
  
  
'Whisper of death promise I don't understand why you are so truthless? Why do you think I could EVER love someone like you? Did you think the pain would win me over, too?  
  
I'm afraid you are mistaken. And I'm sure you won't rest until I'm in my coffin. Because none of it, to you, really matters I'm just a plaything upon which you act out your tortures.  
  
I'm sorry I don't want to be that way, And so from you I'll run not not stay. Hope you understand why But you frighten me and make me cry.'  
  
  
  
  
  
Rhane noticed that Draco wasn't at his normal seat, and that caused her great fear. After all---if he was gone, what was he plotting for her? She shuddered involuntarily. It was a frightening thought.  
  
Draco, meanwhile, was INDEED planning something. After all, his little mind was forever thinking up----plots----of sorts, at least---and it helped inspire him to have someone like Rhane to really FOCUS them on. He smiled as he walked to his room, a little grin that would have seriously worried almost any other student in Hogwarts, barring complete morons, of course. As he entered his room, Draco spotted what he was looking for-that trunk his father had given him. The silver-haired boy hadn't opened it yet, and was fairly sure he knew the contents. Slowly, he crouched down with a password lodged firmly in his mind, and, checking to be sure of the absence of all others, he whispered it softly, smiling as the lock clinked open. Looking in the chest, he saw that, to his delight, he had been correct.  
  
'Of course I was correct. After all, these ARE Father's old school things. What else would they be?'  
  
Rhane sat, completely unaware of anything horrible that might be going through Malfoy's mind. She was watching Professor Snape, and the way he glanced at her, looked down quickly and then repeated the same thing again moments later. It was making her smile slightly.  
  
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As she exited the library, Draco caught her again, roughly, and without a word spoken to her, Rhane felt herself being dragged somewhere that was beginning to look suspiciously like the way to the Slytherin Common Room. Her protests, it seemed, fell on deaf ears, and only resulted in a tightening of the grip and the occasional clench of the nails into her wrist. It began to worry her intensely. 'Wherever is he taking me? This is NOT good----.' She tried to close her eyes and tell herself this must be her imagination---she wasn't being dragged roughly away by a sadistic, obsessive little rich boy, no, of course not! Impossible. Unfortunately, when she opened them again, the situation was the same. As they reached the Portrait to the Slytherin Common Room, Draco shifted his grip and covered her ears as he spoke the password. He all but shoved her through the entryway, looking both ways behind him to be sure no one had noticed.  
  
Rhane took the opportunity to back away, letting one hand search for a weapon, preferably something sharp. Unfortunately, there appeared to be none---not even any fire tongs or pokers by the fireplace! She kept backing away, but knew it was a rather futile movement, as her back would, eventually, hit a wall and then the game was up. No where else to go, then. Rhane felt a sweatdrop form and slowly roll down one cheek, so worried and, frankly, freaked out, by the whole situation. Quietly, she heard herself speak.  
  
"Why have you brought me here? If anyone sees me, you'll be in a great deal of trouble! Not only have you dragged someone unwillingly in your House's Common Room, that someone is a Gryffindor! It wouldn't be allowed! Please---just leave me be." Hearing herself, Rhane knew she sounded foolish---childish, even---and brainless to boot. After all, Draco wouldn't have taken the pains to drag her here, plot all this out so well, if he planned on just letting her go whenever she pleased, so there wasn't any point in trying, was there? He could care less what she wanted or didn't. No point in screaming, either---no one around to hear, right? So she did what she could and spat a sarcastic remark.  
  
"Certainly planned this WELL, didn't you---MALFOY." Her gaze was venomous--- if looks could kill, Draco would have been dead fifty times as well as completely ripped to shreds.  
  
Draco laughed in that strange little way of his, disquieting and insane. "Of course I planned it well. What else? Naturally, you didn't exactly hinder the plan, my dear predictable Rhane. The library, as always, is a wonderful spot to wait for you---you're almost always there!" He smirked and walked forward. Now she was, indeed, up against a wall, and though she looked around she saw nothing that could possibly help her in any way.  
  
"I---." She felt herself freeze, with fear and feelings of impending doom. He gave a little leer and leaned closer to whisper---though it must only be for dramatic purposes, for, had he screamed, no one would have heard what he said, but her.  
  
"Afraid I might ACTUALLY give you a good seeing-to? Both kinds, perhaps, hmm?" He laughed again and tilted her chin to look straight into her face. "Worried that I might take that away from your precious Snape?" He shot an arm forward, completely trapping her against the wall. Leisurely, Draco grabbed the corner of the sleeve of her robe, ((REMEMBER:The robes are over the school-uniform-ish-things..)) and tugged. It tore slightly before he managed to get half off it off, then pulled the other side. Although there was still her vest, skirt and the rest of her uniform clothes, she felt a bit naked without her witches' robe. Draco leered slightly.  
  
'Why am I being SO very aggressive----I mean, I was just enjoying the looks in her eyes at the pain, just relishing the looks of fear, why do I suddenly need to speed this up so?' Draco felt confused, but shrugged it to the side.  
  
Rhane glared hatefully at him and spoke. "If you remove one more thing from me, Draco Malfoy, I swear---I'll----I'll----."  
  
He gave a malicious little laugh and slapped her across the face. "You'll WHAT, DEAR?" Chuckling slightly, he grasped the top of her vest with one hand, and, using the other to hold her wrists together over her head, pulled the sweater roughly off, nearly smothering her when it covered her face. She was truly panicking now, and felt tears coming to her eyes as Draco took off his own robe, vest and then shirt, still holding her wrists with one hand tightly. He pulled himself right up against her, and gave a twisted little smile right before he leaned forward and licked her neck, right at the bite mark, which was still sore, causing her to wince. Then, quickly, he sunk his teeth back in at the same spot, reopening the wounds. Her eyes widened and a cry of pain sprung from her lips. Licking the blood from his lips, his silvery eyes on fire with the flames of who knew how many years, how many lifetimes, he reached for the first button on the white shirt. He managed to unbutton three, and was working on a fourth, when suddenly a hand gripped his shoulder. Draco stopped, and slowly turned, to find a very angry-looking Professor Snape standing there.  
  
Snape glared, more furious than he would ever have believed. "Draco-- -you will NOT finish----whatever it is you may be doing. Release her at once, or you shall face quite a bit of trouble." Draco glared up at the Potions Master, and coolly replied. "Perhaps she wasn't really running or resisting, hmmm, Professor? Perhaps she----ENJOYS this sort of thing." Snape stared in shock at Draco. "Either way, it is not permissible. She will leave. NOW." So saying, he gathered Rhane's lost clothing and, pulling the girl from the wall, thrust them in her arms and escorted her away from the Slytherin Common Room, away from a now violently angry Draco.  
  
"Rot him! WHY DOES HE ALWAYS WIN----AGAIN, he's managed to take her away from this---I SWEAR----I SHALL win, no matter how many tries it takes. Who does he think he is, barging in here---even if it IS his House's Common Room---and taking away the pleasures of life and youth from me, Draco Malfoy! It simply isn't RIGHT." He glared at the door with waves of pure hatred, clutching his head, feeling another breakdown was coming on. Perhaps this time he would think up another plan. He began twitching and laughing in a terrible-sounding way, then finally came back to his situation and realized he was still bare to the waist, sweating and flushed.  
  
  
  
Author's Note: HEEHEE!:looks around embarrassed:erm.^_^'^_^'LALA! Enjoyment of doom? Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Funfun writingness at 1 AM!!!!^_____________________^ 


	9. Secrets

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Nine: Secrets  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for that last chapter(or chapt.6)-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. ^_^  
  
Confusion is nothing new, And this time it seems to have really bothered you. I don't know why this is going on I just want to run and run.  
  
Don't understand the pain or the feelings My mind's lost, swirling and reeling. Hurt physically and unable to comprehend Needing someone my soul to mend.  
  
Understanding and sanity are lost I guess it all got tossed. Trying to retrieve my mind from the tattered wreckage While you try to seduce me with your sick games and bondage.  
  
Racing towards an ominous end I feel I'll break before I bend. You shall not steal my heart away And from my love I shall not stray, no matter what you do or say.  
  
  
  
As Rhane walked, still disheveled, from the Slytherin Common Room with Professor Snape, she realized that the whole thing would look very wrong- particularly coming to this conclusion as Crabbe and Goyle walked up. Their mouths dropped open and their eyes widened. "Urm..SNAPE????" Snape radiated anger and the two shut up quickly and pretended to have never seen anything. He turned to Rhane, staring several long moments before shaking himself out of his 'trance' and, turning away from Rhane with arms crossed, spoke. "You should----go---to your own House, Rhane." Snape quickly strode away, heading for the dungeons he favored so much.  
  
Rhane did as he said, crying herself to sleep silently, so that no one could hear. When she awoke the next morning, she decided to pretend everything was alright, that it had all been a nightmare---- of perhaps incredibly real sensations---but a nightmare nonetheless. She got dressed and grabbed her books, prepared to face her classes, to get there early and ready to learn. However, when she exited, Rhane found herself face-to-face with Malfoy. Eyes widening, Rhane turned to re-enter her House Common Room, but felt her shoulder gripped by Draco's strong, painful grip. The desperation and complete, utter despair in the silvery, smoky eyes startled her and even alarmed her slightly. He pulled her into the shadows and covered her mouth with one hand.  
  
"Don't say a word, or try anything. I'm here to give you----this." He held forward another green-enveloped letter in----were his fingers slightly trembling?---one hand. "Please read it." Without warning, he leaned forward and actually kissed her gently, though she felt him twitch with repressed wishes to bite when he began to draw back. She knew it had taken a lot of willpower, which until this moment, Malfoy had appeared not to possess, to resist the urge to draw blood. As if involuntarily, however, he let his nails trail across a cheek, cutting slightly, then clenched her wrist tightly enough to create the red marks upon it. He shivered slightly and turned, mumbling something about 'leaving before he went too far again.' Rhane stared in complete shock, reaching a hand to touch the cuts before staring down at the letter. Looking around, she opened it slowly.  
  
*** Rhane ***  
  
Just hear me out---please read this letter, alright? I know something is consuming you, too, the way it is me. Do you feel completely yourself? I do, and yet---I don't, as well. I'm certain Snape is the same. I don't know what it is, but something possesses me to hurt you as much as possible and, to be quite frank, I enjoy it. I'm a sadistic sod, I know that. Got it honestly from my father, I did. I just want you to know that no matter what I do to you or how much I physically hurt you, I have a secret, too, just like you. I'll even tell you what it is. Despite what I physically do to you, despite ALL the pain and ALL the torment I put you through, despite frightening you out of your wits intentionally, repeatedly, I honestly have to say---I do love you. In an obsessive and probably quite disturbing way, yes, but love is love, you know. I simply cannot control myself. This is both a confession and an apology for acts which I KNOW I will commit in the future. I saw my father today, he came to---to---to talk to me, mostly about school and such. I don't want to talk about it.  
  
*** Draco M----oh, just Bloody Draco. I'm sure you think of me as bloody anyways. A Bloody Sod. ***  
  
Rhane stared and reread the letter, over and over. Surely this was her imagination! She could NOT be reading those words on this paper from DRACO MALFOY!!! It was impossible! She folded the letter and tucked it away, walking towards her first class with a sort of daze. This was insane! It couldn't BE! Rhane went through her classes without really absorbing them, and found herself almost LOOKING for Draco at lunch. He wasn't at the Slytherin table, and even the other Slytherins looked puzzled. So Rhane inconspicuously stood up and began looking for him. She found him in a dark hall, and at the expression on his face began to wonder if it HAD all been her imagination, that letter and that restraint. His eyes, resting on her, had a hungry look, and seemed almost to be on fire. Draco walked over to her and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders.  
  
"Draco? I----I read your letter----I'm confused. Which personality is real? I---." She felt a twinge of anger when Draco laughed. He shoved her against a wall, pinning his body to hers. Only then did she notice he was, for some odd reason, not in normal Hogwarts attire. Instead, he was wearing pajama bottoms---and only bottoms---that were of ink-black silk. The silk felt smooth and silky, but Draco's skin was burning and feverish. He snogged her again, but this time is was more aggressive, much more like the earlier, brutal kisses. His teeth again pierced her lip and he kept his mouth locked to hers, while still licking the blood away as it flowed. Her eyes widened, confused. Why was he suddenly different, back to the normal, abusive self? His grip tightened on her shoulders and she clenched her eyes with pain. Rhane tried to hit his chest, but the small, restricted blows appeared to have no effect other than to inflame his skin-- -and probably his passion, as well. Suddenly, he passed out and, unable to hold his weight, she felt his unconscious body pull her to the floor, weighing her down, and making it almost impossible to move. She felt, naturally, rather trapped. So Rhane let herself fall asleep---after all, Draco was knocked out cold, and she slept lightly enough that she would KNOW if he moved.  
  
Rhane woke up several hours later as the figure pinning her down stirred. Slowly, Draco raised his face and stared up into Rhane's eyes. Unable to look away, Rhane whispered. "Please get up, I've missed so many classes I should be expelled or something by now, and you're HEAVY." Draco laughed and stood up slowly, swaying slightly. Rhane suddenly felt touched by compassion. 'Why should I feel sorry for HIM? After all he's done to ME?? But----I still feel----what DO I feel? I know this feeling never existed in any other life.' Suddenly, she noticed something. There was a welt, right across one of his ribs, and another across his back. Rhane's eyes widened, then narrowed. 'Whatever could have HAPPENED to him? I---I suppose I should bring him to Madame Pomfrey.'  
  
She slowly took Draco by the arm and began to lead the swaying, almost unconscious Slytherin down the hallways to the Hospital Wing. When she arrived, Madame Pomfrey took the news quite calmly.  
  
"Ah. I thought this would happen---Lucius Malfoy was here earlier, after all." Madame Pomfrey mumbled. "Thank you for bringing him in, Miss Jiyn, though---I must admit---I'm surprised to see a Gryffindor bring in a Slytherin---ESPECIALLY one like Mister Malfoy. Well, you should head along to your Common Room or next class. Go on."  
  
As Rhane left, she felt more confused than ever, she began to think of what Madame Pomfrey had just said. The woman had behaved as if she KNEW that something was----wrong---or---SOMETHING---with Draco's family---as if she suspected---no, more like KNEW----that Lucius abused his son or something. Did he? She felt more bewildered than ever and tried to ignore whatever it was that she was feeling. Was it---remorse? Pity? Rhane stared ahead of her and attempted to forget the whole thing. But the memory of the welts she'd seen on Draco, the feeling of the burning, fevered skin that worried her so, the strange words Madame Pomfrey had spoken upon receiving the almost unconscious Draco Malfoy, all kept haunting her. What did it all mean? Her brow contorted as she attempted to think of the implications--- both of what actually had happened to haunt her so, and of why she felt so full of pity and perplexity for DRACO MALFOY. Why? What did it all mean? And---very importantly---what OTHER secret, that had been untold in the letter, did Draco hold?  
  
  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: WOW----talk about confusion! Yay!^________________________^ Enjoy yourself! 


	10. Consciousness

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Ten: Consciousness  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ K, did the confusion of the last chapter entertain you? Good. Now we go to Draco's unconscious/semi-unconscious mind. Oh, and all poems in these stories,I wrote.^_^ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS.  
  
Never ever expected Never ever wanted Don't understand why you leave me all bruised and welted. Maybe that's why I'm so tainted.  
  
Don't understand, I've told you not to do this But I know that wouldn't matter to me. I draw back in pain when something touches the wounds, with a hiss. I know you don't care, even when you see.  
  
  
  
Draco felt himself slipping in and out of consciousness, only vaguely knew when Rhane led him to the Hospital Wing. Memories swirled in the veil of his mind, of what exactly had prompted this state---and felt the pain in his back, on his sides, his legs. He winced and let out a muffled cry in his sleep. His father had come to Hogwarts to see him, yes, but not to talk. Lucius Malfoy, dangerously angry for some reason---probably involving some argument with the Ministry of Magic or some such thing---had decided to take it out on his son, and had paid a visit to Draco which had left his body covered in welts and his health trampled and turned into a raging fever. Perhaps it would be gone soon, even the wounds would heal--- OUTWARDLY, at least. Inside, he always knew what was happening, always remembered, always realized the next outbreak of rage could be any second, at any time. He trembled slightly at this thought and suddenly threw himself into a seating position, yelling that he absolutely MUST return to his Common Room. No one must know! No one should see, should be allowed to guess! It worried him that this could be happening. Suddenly, he heard a familiar and slowly becoming hated voice, that of Professor Snape. He clenched the sheets and stared as the Potions Master entered through the curtain he was behind.  
  
"Hello, Draco. Madame Pomfrey seems to believe something may be wrong in your family. Am I to believe her? Basically, Draco---has your father been abusing you?"  
  
Draco looked sharply at the Head of his House and lied through his teeth. "Of course not."  
  
"Then where did those marks come from? Madame Pomfrey tells me they're covering you." Snape kept a patient voice, though inside, he was seething. 'The little monster---his father abuses him, yet he insists on treating Rhane the same way!'  
  
"I fell into a patch of attacking bramblebushes. Honestly, I'll be fine. In fact, I should return to the Common Room right away, Professor." The silvery haired boy raised himself from the bed, wincing, and, giving a curt nod to Snape, limped slowly from the room, eyes clenching every few steps, making his way to the Slytherin Common Room as quickly as he could. 'Why? Why the questions---I'll not have them! This is something I can never tell anyone---not anyone. NO ONE needs to know---they wouldn't UNDERSTAND. It's my secret----my secret.' He flung himself into his bed, letting another muffled cry of pain at the sudden pressure on so many of his welts, and forcing himself to slip completely out of consciousness once again.  
  
Draco woke up, still sore all over. He stood up and took off his pajama bottoms, reaching for his clothes. Suddenly, he caught sight of himself in the full-length mirror and winced at the sight. His legs were bruised, cut and welted, his back---he turned slightly---yes, his back was crisscrossed with welts, far worse than those he'd given Rhane that one time. On one ribcage, there was a short, fat welt. Draco stared and shuddered, quickly dressing as if trying to hide the pain and memories even from himself, though inside, he knew he would never escape the trauma that haunted the depths of his mind. He knew there was no escape, no way of running---ever. He was never going to get away from this sort of pain---if he wasn't receiving, he was dealing, without any other options in between. Draco gathered his books and slowly walked from the room towards his first classroom. He tried to clear his mind of all thoughts of his father, and attempted to return them to his normal, cynical, sarcastic self. But the pain kept cutting through right when he got a good sneer going, causing him to clench his teeth and eyes, which gained him odd looks from not only other house students, but also the other Slytherins. Draco shook his silvery hair and pulled out a notebook and began to write.  
  
'Hurt me like I hurt everyone else, cover me with scars, bruises or welts. Do I matter to you? I imagine not. Like everything else, I outlive my usefulness and then I might as well die and rot. I don't understand why and once I asked But now I see the truth, completely unmasked. You never loved me, never cared And of a real family I despaired.'  
  
He scribbled quickly, the ink running slightly. Still, no tears ran---he wouldn't permit them. His hand shook as he wrote, and finally he threw the notebook back in his bag with his other school things and sighed. He felt a chill come to him, and the next second, his skin felt on fire. As he left the classroom, he saw Rhane and felt that personality take over, the one that screamed---'Be hurt and hurt in turn!' Speeding up, Draco caught her wrist and pulled her to him. He wrapped one arm around her waist and trailed the nails of the other hand down her face to her neck, leaving tiny scratches as he went. He leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Hello, DARling." He smiled into her yet-again tearful eyes, then felt his brow furrow as he saw a hint of another emotion---pity? She MUST NOT pity him! NO ONE should! Panicking, Draco shoved her into a shadowy hall and against a wall again. His skin was still uncomfortably warm to Rhane, and she whispered. "You didn't stay long enough under Madame Pomfrey's care, did you?" Boldly, she reached out and poked the rib with the welt, watching with compassion clear in her large green eyes. "NO!" He yelled, seeing the expression on her face. Draco slammed himself into her, pressing his body completely against hers, and slammed his lips on hers again, as if attempting to devour her. He bit down on her lower lip, drew back and then threw his face forward again, this time biting her upper lip slightly. Both lips were bleeding slightly and her eyes were half-closed, tears forming in the corners. Draco laughed softly, then leaned over to whisper in her ear, pressing his body even closer. Her eyes widened slightly, and she suddenly understood a few of the things from Anatomy. Draco was definitely male---not that she'd ever doubted THAT. "Maybe it's a split personality I have. Maybe not, maybe I'm really this way and the other is all in your mind---either way, I DO hope you know exactly what's coming to you eventually." He laughed and kissed her neck in a way that made her shiver from fear of possible biting. Then he pulled away and strode off--- but he knew that if she looked too closely, she would notice the slight limp and the wincing. He prayed she wasn't looking, prayed she didn't see the outward signs of weakness.  
  
Draco sat moodily in the Slytherin Common Room, tapping a hand on one armrest, the other resting one finger on his pointed chin. He suddenly stood and began removing his clothing. Again, he stared at the welts and bruises---then moved closer. Now he could see the old lines, the scars from the previous rages, and he traced them slowly across his bare chest. Shaking slightly, he pulled on the pajama bottoms and turned to examine his back---yes, the marks, large and definitely going to scar---were there. He shook silently with anger, confusion and pain, then fell into his bed and buried himself deep in the covers, as if trying to hide within the layers of his mind, as he did the blankets. Draco stared at the ceiling long before he finally managed to drift into sleep.  
  
As Draco awoke again, he wondered how his day was to go. He realized with a start that it was almost time for the Yule Ball! His face contorted as two sides seemed to be fighting for precedence---ASK Rhane, politely, for her escort, or simply force her to go? She'd want to dance with Snape, he knew, and could probably get away with it, as well---after all, it was a Yule Ball. He seethed at the thought, and the far more cruel side began winning. Draco shook his silver-whiteblonde head and gripped his head with both hands. Finally, he straightened up and headed to the showers---perhaps he could take his mind off his worries for at least a short time, and he always tried to bathe at least twice a day, if at all possible.  
  
As he exited the showers, dressed in his Hogwarts uniform and feeling better, though all the welts stung slightly and were still sore, Draco gave a little smirk and gathered his books and notebook. He set off for his classroom with a bit less of a limp and a lingering slight fever. He began another poem, scribbling in between moments of intense frustration.  
  
'Light slices through the dark, In the world good and evil's differences aren't so stark. Life shimmers, short and quick Sometimes at our scars we continue to pick, Until the wounds reopen and the dams break Our souls, minds and lives at stake. You could care less what I happen to think But as your son, at each attack, I feel my spirit sink. Lost in despair, little light in this life Always full of despair and strife. Feelings of fear mingled with rage All acted out on a simple stage. Take out the pain on someone else instead Till both inside cry tears of red.'  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Wheeeeeee!!!!FUN!!!!!!^_______^^_^_^_^' Lalala. Enjoyment. Doom? Enjoyment OF doom!!! Thanks for reading and reviewing!!!!! The chapters'll keep coming that way!! 


	11. Feathers

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Eleven: Feathers  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Back to Rhane's . Oh, and all poems in these stories,I wrote.^_^ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS.  
  
  
  
'Drifting, twisted worlds of light and dark, good and evil Swirls of brilliance and inky night across my mind squiggle. Feathers whisper as the fall down Feeling as if one could easily drown. In the deepest moonlight Skin looks a snowy white. Blood is red and jewel-like Each and every time one, like a snake, strike. Coiled and docile Until tempers flare, emotions are fragile. So easily does the human mind switch to and fro  
  
The feeling of emptiness makes the soul feel hollow. And only you can make it whole again.'  
  
Rhane awoke and began to dress. With a slight shock she realized---it was only---oh, a week?---until the Yule Ball. Her brow contorted as she began to ponder her situation. Wait---WHAT situation? She wanted to either go with Snape or alone, if that wasn't possible, in order to dance with him--- and ONLY him. Right? But suddenly Rhane felt her brain flash to a memory, the feeling of Draco's fevered, oh-so-warm skin against hers, the way those welts had looked. She shook her long brown hair and put one hand to her temple. NO. She WOULD dance with Snape, not ANYone else. ESPECIALLY not Draco Malfoy. Those memories flashed over and over, and she felt weak, suddenly, as if she might faint.  
  
  
  
Draco, meanwhile, was pacing the floor of his common room, feeling the harsh side taking over. Jealousy, anger, and the fever that still remained were all bringing the personality that stayed in control almost all of the time---the hurting side. He stared in the mirror, then returned his face to the ground, to his shiny black shoes. Draco continued pacing and finally let out a yell of frustration. 'I don't know what's coming over me, but it isn't any good, I can tell that much. Not that it ever is, anyway.' He clutched his head so tightly that small red spots began to appear from his grip. Suddenly he began to hit his head against the wall, doing this at least five times before he managed to pull himself together and return to himself---the normal self, the cruelty overtaking his system. He gave a wicked little smile and excited his Common Room with a sweeping, arrogant movement.  
  
Rhane dressed quickly and walked towards her first classroom, her thoughts a whirling tornado of emotions and whispering thoughts that told her the opposite of each other. What was going on? She didn't even know her own mind anymore. Once, she had believed she knew clearly who she loved and who she hated, but now----now she was no longer so very certain of that. Why was she questioning herself? Rhane loved SNAPE---no one else! ----- Right? OF COURSE that was right! Who else would she be falling in love with? Another voice whispered, 'What about Draco?' To which she nearly screamed inside, 'NO WAY! I could NEVER love him! Pity him, maybe, but that's ALL. Look at everything he's done to me! Look at everything he's threatened and WILL probably attempt soon! My heart could never betray me in such a way. It's out of the question. I love Snape----only Snape.' Shaking softly and still lost within the abyss that was her mind, her spirit so bemused that she felt like sinking into a despairing sleep right there in the halls. Suddenly, the face that prompted this confusion appeared right before hers, only seconds away. Rhane jumped, her eyes widening, as he shoved her back and into an empty hallway. Reaching into his bag, he pulled a coil of rope and gave a malicious little smile, one eye ever-so-slightly twitching. He threw her roughly into the wall, grabbing her wrists and binding them together as swiftly as he could. Sweating slightly, he nearly ripped his vest and shirt from his body. 'He still has a fever, then.' Rhane realized. 'Does it make him do these things?' Rhane's eyes widened when he drew the small, thin whip from the bag next.  
  
"I suppose you've been expecting this, hmm?" His voice rasped slightly, but still felt satiny to her ears. 'Why does his voice feel so wonderful, sound so perfect, even when it's at its worst? I just don't understand--- whatever's happening to me??!' As he raised the whip, she clenched her eyes shut.  
  
Draco gave a little smile and a soft, incredibly crazed laugh. He grabbed her by the wrists and spun her around again, her face up against the cool stone wall. Draco cracked the whip once, twice, four times. She winced each time and twice let out a little cry of pain, tears falling from her eyes. Again. Twice more. Finally, he slumped to his knees, sweat pouring off his body, holding his head as if in intense pain. Finally, he threw the whip back into the bag and stood, walking to Rhane, turning her around.  
  
Leaning over, he whispered softly in her ear, his voice cracking slightly with some sort of internal trauma. "I'm sorry---I love you, Rhane, but---I told you I can't stop myself." Draco looked despairingly into her eyes, then slowly kissed her eyes, tasting the tears there. Then he kissed her, so delicately compared to the wounds that he'd just inflicted that Rhane felt the perplexity take over her, not really knowing how to respond, what to do, to say, to FEEL. 'What's wrong with me? I don't understand how I can even have ANY feelings of pity for this---this----monster who does this to me. It makes no SENSE!' Suddenly, she knew it never made any sense anyway. Yet the confusion was still there. She didn't understand and was almost afraid to, in fact. As he untied her, Rhane felt her body trying to slump weakly to the floor, but found herself held from the ground by Draco Malfoy. He looked concerned---CONCERNED??---and took her by the arm, sitting her down and beginning to dress himself completely again. Back on went the shirt and the vest. He pulled his robe from his bag as he put the rope away and threw it on, fastening the clasp at the top. Draco helped her up and led her to her Common Room, allowing her to say the password while covering his ears. He carefully picked her up and carried her half- unconscious body up the stairs to her dormitory, laying her gently on her bed and covering her with the sheets. Softly, he kissed her cheek, then turned, forcing himself to leave the room before the other side tried to take over. Fists clenched, he snuck from the Gryffindor Common Room and headed towards his class. He didn't understand anything he'd just done, it felt like an insane, twisted dream that he could not escape. 'Why do I do these things? Why can't I stop being the same way to her that my father is to me? No matter how I try, it WILL NOT go away!! It makes NO sense---.' Draco clutched his bag and raced towards his classroom, throwing himself into the seat, causing the Professor to raise an eyebrow. Of course, it was worse, for this was Advanced Double Potions, with Snape. And Rhane was, of course, not there. He felt the Potions Master's hard stare and tried to pretend nothing had happened, that he was innocent of anything the teacher might have conjured up.  
  
Snape glared at Malfoy. 'What has he done to her now, to make her miss a class? I swear I'll kill the lout if he touches her one more time and I see it-----no, wait! Why am I still caring? I can't---this is impossible, I am NOT feeling anything for that foolish little girl. Rhane was such a gullible soul, though, who would protect the brunette if not he? NO---let someone else. He wasn't going to let himself---let himself---- 'Let yourself WHAT, Severus, hmmm?' 'NEVER MIND, it's nothing!' 'Afraid to admit that you love her? Afraid to realize that you have a HEART? Awww, how----- like you. But you can't run forever, you know. It will catch up to you eventually, and then you shall find yourself trapped and incapable of escape, and we shall see how you behave then, won't we?' 'I shall NOT!' He plunged his mind into the lesson, though he couldn't shake the little sound of laughter echoing throughout his mind.  
  
  
  
Draco sat at his desk, writing not the instructions, but, rather, the newest poem in his small black notebook.  
  
'Anger deals anger And I never felt stranger. I love so deeply, yet I want to hurt her too, Make someone else suffer like I do. I don't know why, I know it's making her cry And probably she'll never love me, and it's making me die. Love so dark and so painful, can't understand On my feet I never land. Never see any way to change any of this, Though it is my fondest---my only---real wish. I am broken and break in turn Taking pleasure in hurting she who would once spurn. Reveling in the power, which I have nowhere else in the world I feel my body in pain crinkled and curled Wanting to unravel this sick chain, But unable to refrain from inflicting pain.'  
  
He held a hand to his forehead, feeling its warmth, and slowly began the work on the potion assigned the class, fortunate that it was a very simple concoction. His mind swirled, as if filled with feathers, falling through his thoughts, making him sneeze and grab for them, but when he opened his mental hands, they were empty.  
  
Author's Note: Wow---that was very interesting, yes? Draco has multiple personalities, yes, he does. :nods emphatically: Hope you're enjoying each twist and turn. ^_^' 


	12. Letters

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Twelve: Letters  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories,I wrote.^_^ALSO---- IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS.  
  
  
  
  
  
THANK YOU :  
  
The-m-chick: Your story is sooo great!! Hope mine is interesting, there's a lot of psychoanalysis in this story, in case anyone noticed. Growing up with a psychiatrist/physician for a guardian tends to mean you learn a bit about it. Not necessarily a lot, but I always listen to my granddad, and therefore tend to accidentally add these things to my stories.^_^' Thanks for reviewing and continuing to read my disturbing story!^____^  
  
Lady Juleya: Thanks for being one of my first reviewers!^_^  
  
Aelis: You, too!^__________^  
  
Marvin: thanks!!!^_______^  
  
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Sarah: YAY!^________^Thanks for reviewing, you know you're one of my best friends. One of the few who'll put up with my weird freakishness LATE at night((or early in the morning-whatever it is.O_o))  
  
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THANK ALL OF YOU FOR REVIEWING, IT REALLY ENCOURAGES ME!^_________^  
  
  
  
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'Writing swift and smoothly, Midnight black ink on creamy paper Write until you can't write anymore, all has been said so simply. Then crumple it up, another little pyre.  
  
Little letters, so many never sent Wondering where my mind could have went. Have you seen it? If so, tell it to give a call, I'd really like to have it back before it gets me into a brawl.  
  
So many things to say, not enough guts to say them all Never tell a soul, keep it all inside That's why they say pride comes before a fall. Learning just now how to take things in stride.  
  
Little letters, whatever have I done? I do believe I gave away one. It shall be my doom, this I see, And that will be the end of me.'  
  
Rhane stared out the window. Three days---and only that---until the Yule Ball. She could scarcely believe it. It seemed unreal---completely. Suddenly, she saw an owl---her mother's---outside of the window. Looking around, she let the bird in. As Rhane fed the owl---Lrin'a---she examined the package it had been gripping in its claws. Apparently her mother remembered Christmas was coming, after all. Even better, she'd remembered Rhane existed---that was a plus. The brunette began unwrapping her present.  
  
It was a dress robe---an absolutely stunning dress robe. It must have been her mother's, for the once-powerful witch had no way to shop for it, and besides, it looked as if it had been worn at least once---not that it was in bad shape! It was in excellent, well-cared-for condition, as if someone had really loved it once. It was long, probably down a tad past her ankles, with flowing, medieval-like sleeves. It was the deepest, richest shade of black, and had two layers---a velvet-looking underlayer covered by a sheer layer that was sprinkled with incredibly realistic stars. It had a square neck and a princess waistline. From the folds of the dress fell a pair of small black shoes with the tiniest of heels and a pair of sparkling star earrings, the dangling sort. And, of course, a card. She sat down, carefully setting the dress robe and accessories aside, and read the card.  
  
*** Rhane ***  
  
'I hope you will enjoy this. The dress was a present from your father to me when I was very young. It is a Christmas present to you, as I have no need for it now, and you have all the use in the world for it.'  
  
Rhane looked perplexed for a moment. She'd never received new dress robes for any other Yule Ball. Why now? Unfortunately, the next line explained this, as she read on.  
  
'I am also gifting this to you because you are engaged. I'm sorry for not telling you, sweetheart, but it was something I had no control over, and therefore I felt it would be best to keep it from you as long as possible. Your intended is one Draco Malfoy, a Slytherin, you may already know him. I assume you shall be attending the Yule Ball with him, therefore, this dress robe is for you to wear to that event. Please enjoy yourself and have a wonderful Christmas, Rhane.'  
  
*** Mum ***  
  
Rhane stared in horror at the letter. Suddenly, all thoughts she'd entertained about EVER attending ANYthing with Draco Malfoy fled from her mind. She would NOT go anywhere with that little sadistic monster! But--- the dress robe was SO pretty! Did she HAVE to go with Draco to wear it? How would her mother ever know? A crafty look came to her face. She wouldn't know, would she? Of course not.  
  
So she wrote a letter.  
  
His hands trembling slightly, Draco began to write.  
  
*** Rhane *** I hope you realize that we shall be attending the Yule Ball together. We are engaged, don't forget that. I know you do not love me, I know you love someone else---but it is impossible for you to attend with him, and you SHALL be my escort. I won't allow you to go with any other soul, be he living, dead, or half-alive. Hope that was ABSOLUTELY clear.  
  
*** Love, Draco (the bloody sod)***  
  
He fastened it, still shaking somewhat, with a silver-green seal and attached a tiny dried red rose blossom to it with a small silver ribbon. So saying, he looked for his owl to send the letter. As soon as it was winging its way towards the Gryffindor Common Room, Draco sank into a sofa with a look of sheer exhaustion.  
  
Finally, he rose to examine his own new dress robes. His father had purchased them and sent them, as he did every year, though this year there had been a slightly different letter.  
  
*** Draco *** Hope this shall be good enough to dazzle everyone with. Do wear it to that Christmas party thing---what was it again? Ah, well----with your little pet. I assume you've managed to completely captivate her by now, using whatever methods in existence, as I did with your mother.  
  
*** Lucius Malfoy ***  
  
Draco looked at the robe and its other components with a slightly saddened air. His father always bought him the nicest, most lovely garments and things---but he would much rather have had a father who sincerely cared rather than a sadistic abuser who had passed on the horrid qualities he possessed to his son and never really loved him. Shrugging, he looked down at the deep, dark, almost black green shirt with slightly flared silver skull-buttoned cuffs, the black silk fitted pants and shiny leather boots with silver swirl clasps down the front, the long black cloak-robe of the finest quality velvet, with an intricate Celtic clasp at the top left shoulder. He sighed. Well, at least they were nice clothes---  
  
Draco sat down and began to write in his notebook.  
  
'Dare I speak? Dare I let myself think you might not hate me? Perhaps something's in my eyes, blinding me. Either that, or it's all my imagination But whatever it is, I can't seem to use caution. Locked in eternal battle between me and myself, One part of me always ends up locked in a box on a shelf.  
  
Don't understand, you look so strangely at me then turn away Or perhaps I'm wrong, reading minds is not my forte.  
  
But I try and try to understand-perhaps you don't listen to a word I say. I love you, I love you, how many times do I have to tell you? Though I cannot help the way I treat you, so you probably think it isn't true. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's too late to ever change And I'm sorry again if that sounds strange.'  
  
Snape was mixing a particularly difficult potion when the small, brown owl with black flecks swooped in with a letter. He stared in shock at the delicate handwriting on the satiny envelope, looked around, and tore open the seal to the letter. His hands trembled as he realized whom it was from.  
  
*** Severus (Or Professor Snape, if you wish.) ***  
  
I cannot impress upon you how important it is to read this letter to the end! First, however, a poem:  
  
'Darkness and confused hearts, never understanding what it is I mean to say Love I know, as always before, so many lifetimes, is here to stay. Known you since forever began Can't forget all of my sin. I'm sorry if this isn't making you feel any better, I'm afraid it's impossible to say this in a way that'll make you comfortable. Sorry if this poem is a little too forceful. But it's in my heart and in my soul My love for you has taken its toll. No longer a child, I can only ask you to understand My mind is doing somersaults and refuses to land. Please admit love, if you feel it And promise me to tell me if any candles in your heart have been lit.'  
  
I do hope you will realize that I am, basically, asking you to attend the Yule Ball with me. If this is not possible, I do not know what I shall do, perhaps attend the ball alone, but PLEASE, promise you will dance at least-- --if only---one dance with me! I would die in utter bliss if you should do this, if you should honor THIS request at least.  
  
*** Forever, Rhane ***  
  
Snape looked dumbfounded down at the letter. What should he do? He didn't know, but---no, there WAS no but! He COULD not attend the ball with her--- she was a STUDENT! 'And if she was but a year older, you could attend with her or anything else. She is no child, she was right about that.' 'Curse you! I CANNOT go with her---ANYwhere! I may want to---.' 'So you DO want to, then!' 'Yes---yes I do. Are you happy now? I DO want to go to the Yule Ball, to the MOON, even, with her! Wherever she goes, I'd love to follow! But it is IMPOSSIBLE!' 'I argue with that---but now isn't the time. I suppose you shall turn her down, then? What about her one request? For just one dance? That's harmless, at least.' 'True---that I can agree with without compromising my job.'  
  
Rhane stared at the letter. Draco was---ORDERING her to go to the dance with him! And---what was this dried rose for? Her? Or had it been a mistake? The letter was so obviously from that manipulative, violent side of him that the flower seemed out of place and delicate. She stared, perplexed at the letter again, rereading it for the fifth time. Rhane had been left no choice, no say in the matter, by the letter's wording. 'Whatever should I do? I know Snape will turn me down, I imagine he shan't even dance ONE dance with me! But---I do not wish to go with Draco, either, it would be a betrayal of Snape, my pain and my heart!' 'Are you sure it would be a betrayal to ALL those things?' 'OF COURSE!' 'If you say so----.' The other little voice in her head was laughing at her. She frowned and sighed, slumping into a seat by the fireplace. The brunette still had three days to decide---if it was, indeed, her decision at all.  
  
Author's Note: Whee! FUN!^________^' Hope this is as enjoyable for all of you as it is for me! I'm really loving writing this, and your encouraging reviews have REALLY helped me so much! Thank you all!^______________^ Whew, this was a long chapter---^_^ um---Sarah? I didn't see that many typos, actually---except fragment sentences in places, but that's intentional, cause thoughts are often fragmented----^_^' 


	13. Falling

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Thirteen: Falling  
  
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories,I wrote.^_^ALSO---- IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. In a twisted and strange way, this chapter is almost-------sweet. Weirdly so. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!!((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^'  
  
  
  
'Missing the sun, missing the darkness as well Wonder if they blended into grays if anyone could really tell? Life is never black and white, nothing's ever that easy, The most intelligent, brilliant person you've ever heard of may in truth be really sleazy. Never judge things by their covers Never completely believe you know someone, not enemies, not lovers. Because truth is something often left along the wayside, lost in the lies And sometimes it feels like no one really tries.  
  
I wonder if it's me, or is it you? And no, I can't say I know what you're going through. It wouldn't be honest to say that I completely comprehend Just know that there'll always be someone there from whom you can borrow or lend. I hope this all makes sense, Sometimes I wonder and, feeling pain, wince. But I know we can all make it through As long as we don't depend too heavily on what we gullibly think is 'true.''  
  
  
  
Rhane stared at the empty seat when she entered her Advanced Double Potions classroom. Where was Draco? 'You're actually WORRIED?! Have you completely flipped your lid?' 'No! I mean, Yes! I mean---I don't know.' '------.' As she listened through that class and the next few classes, Rhane picked up the rumor that, basically, Draco had passed out again in the middle of the Slytherin Common Room and had been taken, with a high fever, to Madame Pomfrey. For some reason, the brunette Gryffindor felt her heart rise to her throat. Why had Draco passed out again? His father had not been there, that much she knew for certain. The moment noon came, she felt her feet unwillingly carrying her to the Hospital Wing, as swiftly as they could take her. Though Rhane tried to stop herself, she felt drawn there, drawn to see if it was true.  
  
"Yes, dear?" Madame Pomfrey, bustling about, asked the anxious Rhane.  
  
"Draco---is he here?" Rhane wondered at the anxiety, the worry, in her voice. Concerned---over DRACO MALFOY???! It was unthinkable! He wouldn't want it, anyway.  
  
"He's over there, but---." She sighed. The girl had already ran off in the direction she'd pointed. Madame Pomfrey was too busy to worry about it right that moment, besides, she knew the girl meant no harm---not running in here like that! Odd, that a Gryffindor should come looking for Draco, she thought as she began working again.  
  
Rhane walked softly, silently, through the curtain separating the main room from Draco Malfoy. Unable to stop herself, she found herself sitting on the edge of his bed, near his arm, staring down at his unconscious face. 'He's so pale---.' She reached out and brushed a finger down one smooth, silken cheek. "You look like an innocent angel when you're asleep, Draco. As if---as if you could never hurt anyone. As if you're incapable of having done to me the things you have, incapable of inflicting such pain." Rhane murmered softly, then drew her hand back sharply in shock, realizing what she was doing. She stood and turned to leave, a Gryffindor---especially a Gryffindor GIRL----had no right sitting in the hospital wing with a Slytherin, particularly not one such as Draco Malfoy, the bane of the Gryffindors.  
  
However, she had not moved two steps when a soft grip weakly enclosed her wrist and a trembling voice haltingly reached her ears.  
  
"S-sorry I c-can't----can't hold your wrist tighter and pull you back here. If you re-really wanted----you could leave now---I-I can't r-really stop you, not in this state." His voice was ever-so-quiet, broken with small coughs. "Ma-madam Pomfrey says I should be better by tomorrow, if I stay put and t-----take my medicine properly. I int-intend to, but---only because I must----be there, rested and w-well, to t-take you to----take you to---." He was interrupted by a spasm of coughing, and reached for a bottle of medicine, which he gulped a dose of. "I should be a little better even now." Yes, his voice DID sound better, and his grip was slightly more constrictive now. She stared straight into his silvery eyes---what a mistake!---and felt a chill, born of fear, confusion, and---something else, something she didn't quite understand---run through her.  
  
"I really should be going. I have to attend the rest of today's classes, you know, Draco." Rhane pulled slightly, as if to signify that she was ready to leave. "No! Wait, I---I have to read you something." Draco thanked whatever was watching over him that the medicine and state of groggy, weak illness was keeping down the part of him that normally pervaded his being and cursed every action he made with a sadistic twist. He knew he was a sadist, and that could never change---but at least this little part of him could try and make up for it. Well, nothing could really make up for all the leatherings, all the violent acts he had committed and most likely would commit, but this would at least make some things better. At least he loved her---his father never loved him.  
  
'I want you to understand this clearly, I'm not saying I will ever change, But know no matter what, I love you dearly, And if it made you happy, the stars I'd rearrange. I'm sorry I must hurt you so, I'm sorry I enjoy it, too. I wish I had been someone else's child, Then maybe I'd be someone new, And not behave in ways so wild. I wish I could stop the pain, But things will always be this way. Even on the day when it rains red rain, The hurting will, unfortunately stay. I love you and no one else can ever steal me from this despair I know you do not feel the same, But you have no choice, by birth you were destined to live with me in my lair. I know this all sounds rather lame, I'm sorry my poem's no better. I'm sorry if this brings you shame, Had you not turned up, this probably would be in a letter.'  
  
Rhane stared. Draco's eyelids were drooping, the medicine had a side-effect of sending the taker into a deep sleep shortly afterwards, and Draco had fought it just long enough to say what he'd meant to. The brunette girl removed his fingers carefully from her wrist, turned and left the Hospital Wing, mind still racing and drowning in utter and complete confusion. When she returned to her Common Room that night, she still felt completely unsure of herself or of whatever had drawn her to the Hospital Wing in the first place. Upon entering, she found that she'd received a letter-a response from Snape. Tearing it open, Rhane read it with as much speed as possible, attempting to take her mind from its complex little struggles.  
  
*** Rhane *** I'm sorry to say that it would be MOST improper to attend the Yule Ball together, even if you HAVE almost graduated Hogwarts. I shall try my best, however, to give you your simpler request---one dance is innocent enough. Have a pleasant evening.  
  
*** Professor Severus Snape ***  
  
Rhane sighed. She'd expected as much, really. Tears began to form in her eyes as she showered, then threw on her nightgown and buried herself in bed. Silently, she let them fall, knowing to hold back would only be worse. 'You know you expected that. Why the tears? There's always Draco.' 'I---I don't WANT to go with him----I don't.' 'Don't be childish.' '-----.' 'You know you do.' 'Alright,alright. Maybe a little. But I don't LOVE him! I LOVE SNAPE! I only---only PITY Draco.' 'Just keep telling yourself that, dear.'  
  
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The next day, she awoke to an owl and a package sitting on her bed. Getting up, Rhane opened the window, shivering in the cold December air. The owl flew away immediately, and she closed the window, returning to her bed to open the package.  
  
It was the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen! Medium-length, silver in color, with tiny little thorns and a large, intricately detailed rose in the center. "Whomever could it be FROM?" She whispered. Then Rhane noticed the card. Without even opening it, she knew whom the present was from. The envelope was green, in Draco's writing. She opened the letter slowly, and began to read it.  
  
*** Rhane *** I hope this matches whatever it is you will be wearing, at least in color, if not in design. Please wear it, I expect it to be around your neck when I pick you up for the ball. Remember that I AM taking you, regardless of what you wish, and do understand that, if necessary, I shall FIND a way in and dress you myself. It wouldn't bother me, that's for certain---. But I'm sure you wouldn't dream of trying to hide from the Yule Ball---after all, you know there would be INCREDIBLE punishment for such a thing! Until later,then.  
  
*** Love, Draco M. (the bloody sod again.) ***  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Back to the average-length chapters.^______^Enjoyable? I've been really inspired this weekend.^______^LALA!^___^ 


	14. Time

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Fourteen: Time  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad, even. A bit twisted, too-and kinda long. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!! Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write. ^_^_^ Happiness o'doooooom! ^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^' ARGH!! THREE TIMES this chapter was deleted because my comp froze, so if the first bits aren't as good, I'll know why. :sigh: And it was so good the first time it was being typed---( :-( Well, here goes nothing.  
  
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'I feel the pain and desire smolder inside, Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I can't escape my mind, Afraid, so afraid of what I might find.  
  
Worried that I shall betray myself with everything I do, Though some part of me tells me I am to one person only true. That person is not myself nor you, but I still feel so strange when you're near, Hoping and praying that this feeling is only exaggerated effects of fear.  
  
Won't someone explain to me? Feels like time is running out and I can no longer see. My eyes burn with tears and my body feels weak, It's nearly impossible for me to speak.  
  
Chaos swirls in my head, Want to cover my face with covers in bed. Can't understand my own thoughts, I'm being shot down by hidden enemy slingshots.'  
  
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Rhane looked at the letter with horror, rereading it for the third time. Though it was early in the morning, she was intent on writing a response while the anger was still strong, and so began scribbling away.  
  
*** Draco Malfoy ***  
  
Do you HONESTLY think I will want to go with YOU to the Yule Ball simply because you sent me a pretty little trinket? Just because you are simply ROLLING in cash and can toss it around any way you please does NOT mean that I am in the slightest impressed. After all, why should I want to go ANYWHERE with YOU, after the way I've been---and still am---treated? You say that you cannot possibly change, but you still haven't given me one single, rational excuse why. BESIDES---I love Severus Snape, NOT YOU. And that's that.  
  
*** Rhane Jiyn ***  
  
And so the brunette Gryffindor sent the letter without delay, feeling no remorse---at first. Suddenly, Rhane felt a wave of emotion flood her-a tinge of fear, and another, nameless emotion she tried to ignore, afraid of what it might mean. Gathering her books, she left the Common Room and headed for Advance Double Potions, fearing the worst---after all, that class was with the Slytherins-and, therefore, Draco.  
  
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Draco gazed in horror at the letter he had received just as he had been leaving for class. His hands clenched and unclenched, subconscious guiding him without his permission. One eye twitched and he began to laugh, a slow, soft sort of laugh that sounded completely and utterly insane. Finally, he got himself back under control, physically at least, and, gathering his bag with his schoolbooks inside, nearly stalked out of the room, heading towards his first class.  
  
When he arrived, Draco made it a point to stare hungrily at Rhane in a lecherous way for several minutes before beginning work on the medium- difficulty potion Snape had assigned and intended to grade harshly.  
  
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Rhane glanced up and caught the look Draco gave her. For some unknown reason, she felt incredibly embarrassed, especially as another wave of strange, unknown emotion washed over her, and she quickly looked down at her potion. When the girl raised her eyes again, they caught those of Professor Snape and locked there. His eyes seemed almost on fire, and she felt herself lost in the depths of inky darkness there. It sent a chill through her, and she shook herself to calm down a bit in order to finish the potion.  
  
At the end of class, she intentionally spilled all her books and papers, slowly picking them up as everyone---even Draco, pulled off by enthusiastic 'friends'---other Slytherins whom he'd once or twice bought things for--- left the classroom.  
  
"What do you want, Rhane?" Snape's voice sounded cracked and grating to her ears, as if he was sick---or had been missing sleep for several days and nights.  
  
Books forgotten, Rhane walked up to the Potions Master and placed her hands against his chest, flat against the soft black robe. "I want you---but you already knew that, right, Severus?" She leaned forward, letting her head rest against him between her hands. Even this statement, which could have sounded terribly wrong from any other, sounded almost pure and innocent from her, sounded as white as fresh-falling snow. Rhane smiled and closed her eyes as she felt him tense, trying to resist and hold himself at bay from temptation.  
  
Snape's face contorted as he wrestled with morals-and position at Hogwarts-- -and emotions strong enough to cause a reincarnation cycle that had lasted countless lifetimes. 'Why me? Why do I have to be a part of this? I cannot help but love her--- I never stood a chance, inside of me live innumerable other selves from before now that all loved her enough to die for her! What chances have I against all of them? It just isn't RIGHT, in any sense of the word!' 'But you will not fight it anymore?' 'I cannot---not as much as I'd like. Not when she is so close, so warm, so bold. I can no more defend against her nearness than I could defend against something I could not see, hear or sense!' He let himself lose control, felt his arms encircle her.  
  
"I don't know why I am doing this." Snape whispered in her ear. "It makes no sense at all, I don't suppose anything does anymore."  
  
Rhane nodded, sending sensations throughout him, a chill stronger than anything he'd felt before. He leaned down as she looked up, and kissed her. A long, passionate sort of kiss, yet still chaste and almost innocent- --if he had only been a student, it would have been romantic, sweet. As it was, it could lose him his job and everything worth anything in his life. It could lose her from him as well, he knew. Relationships didn't foster well when one was in Azkaban.  
  
Finally, he pulled away, taking her by the shoulders and gently removing her from touching him. "You MUST go to your next class. NOW." Snape watched her grab her bag and leave, a sad look in his eyes, then shook his head. 'I had to send her away again---it's for her as well as I.'  
  
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As Rhane left the classroom, she was not terribly surprised to find Draco Malfoy waiting for her. He grabbed her arm and half-dragged her as far from anyone's view as he possible could. This time, she saw that, again, there was real anger, real, sincere, genuine hurt in his eyes. The girl felt a twinge of something inside. What WAS this odd feeling? Shaking it off mentally, she began to give him a cool stare but was unprepared for what he did immediately as she began.  
  
Grabbing her by the shoulders, he shook her several times, and began whispering---the sort of whisper that is far, far worse than any yelling.  
  
"Why? Why do you have to do this? Make me so angry that this side always wins? Hurt me so deeply that it feels as if you've sunk a knife into my very heart, my soul? I---I don't understand!" He slapped her hard across the cheek, then leaned forward to stare right into her face, trapping her between his arms, hands pressed to the stone wall. A shiver ran down her spine, and Rhane tried to look away, but found it impossible.  
  
"I LOVE you, Rhane, isn't that ENOUGH? Do you have to take my mind as well as steal my heart? When will it be enough? You do this to me EVERY single LIFE, and still I cannot stop it, cannot prevent it! WHY??" Was that a tear- --In DRACO's eye?? Rhane stared, transfixed, her face flushed. He was breathing hard, and his voice was small, cracked with emotion, his face flushed as well, and sweating.  
  
He leaned over and snogged her aggressively, wrapping his arms around her and letting his sharp nails run down her back, across some of the already- created welts, which made her try to cry out, though this was prevented by his mouth covering hers. He held the kiss, every so often nibbling or biting at a part of her lip until it bled, licking away the blood without moving his mouth from hers. When Draco finally drew back, he stared directly into her green eyes again, and spoke softly, menacingly, with conviction.  
  
"You WILL be attending the Yule Ball with me. You haven't any choice, you KNOW I will have no regrets of forcing you into your clothes. Until later, then, Rhane, until later." He turned and walked away with a half- confident, half-defeated air that puzzled for Rhane. For several minutes, she simply stayed against the wall, panting slightly and in complete shock. Again a wave of mixed-up, twisted emotions hit her, and she tried to erase them by heading to her next class.  
  
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Draco sat in his next class, unable to focus, and took out his notebook again. He had to take the feelings out somewhere, and the notebook was a good place to take some of it to.  
  
'Darkest lights of inky black, Moon blotted from the sky, Can't see anything in this darkest of dark forevers, Lost and confused, isn't anything good in this life? Don't understand why I'm here, why this is all happening, Can't seem to escape a single step of my fate. I sit and watch the darkness until I spot a tiny silvery light. Wait, little light! Please don't leave me all alone here in despair! But, no, the light is gone, And I, like the stars, Am blotted out completely.'  
  
He closed the book after the frantic writing and tried to focus on his class. HER face kept appearing. Why did she have to haunt him so, create such a strong emotional attachment, such an obsession? Why did she have to always be the same, lifetime after lifetime, fueling that lasting feeling of anger and rage mixed with love that kept the cycle going on in eternity? It made no sense, and as he thought of this, he held his hands to his head, feeling weighed down by everything. It was as if a nightmare had taken over his life---forever.  
  
One day until the Yule Ball.  
  
Author's Note: Hello everyone. This chapter took forever to get done, cause it kept being deleted and all, hope it turned out alright.^_^' Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!^______________^I was going to write the next chapter, but because of the evilness of my computer tonight, I was unable to.^_^' Sorry!! 


	15. Lines

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Fifteen: Lines  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad, even. A bit twisted, too-and kinda long. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!! Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write. ^_^_^ Happiness o'doooooom! ^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^' Aargh. I hate disagreements, don't you? Oh well, at least I got it out of my system. Wow. This is a good song. :listens:  
  
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THANK YOU :  
  
The-m-chick: Your story is sooo great!! Hope mine is interesting, there's a lot of psychoanalysis in this story, in case anyone noticed. Growing up with a psychiatrist/physician for a guardian tends to mean you learn a bit about it. Not necessarily a lot, but I always listen to my granddad, and therefore tend to accidentally add these things to my stories.^_^' Thanks for reviewing and continuing to read my disturbing story!^____^  
  
Lady Juleya: Thanks for being one of my first reviewers!^_^  
  
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Sarah: YAY!^________^Thanks for reviewing, you know you're one of my best friends. One of the few who'll put up with my weird freakishness and my disturbing, over-emotional ways.  
  
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LCM: Thanks for reviewing, and for allowing me to explain that aspect of the story. ^_^ Do read on, please?  
  
Also, for my friend Velandar, thank you SO much for reading!^_______________^  
  
THANK ALL OF YOU FOR REVIEWING, IT REALLY ENCOURAGES ME!^_________^  
  
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'Feels like I'm drowning under everything Pressure pushing me one way, heart another. Those who live in glass houses should not at others stones fling. Wonder if this keeps up if I'll smother?  
  
Can't see, can't think, all I can do is feel, And sometimes that's not enough, because those feelings are only pain, It's then when I know that my fate has an unbroken seal, Then when I know that upon my head shall fall eternal rain.  
  
Hurt blends into tears, Tasting salt and experiencing everything as if hollow. I can't even tell you all of my fears, In them and in the depths of my mind I wallow.  
  
Trapped on the barbed wire there, Cut, bruised, beaten and still coming back for more. Seems that every eye knows, every eye holds a stare, Today what's in store?  
  
Facing each day is torture, I feel as if I can't go on sometimes. Then I remember that life would be hard pressed to be any crueler, And the bell in my mind chimes.  
  
Things-will they get better, or stay the same? They can't get too much worse. All of my emotions, my passions, at once inflame. Sometimes I wish my life would go in reverse.'  
  
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Rhane felt her mind swirl in a mix of emotions as she awoke the day of the Yule Ball. The other girls that inhabited this section of the dormitory were downstairs or eating, the ones that were downstairs standing around with the guys they planned to attend the Ball with, snogging passionately, no doubt. Slowly, she stood and stared at herself in the mirror. The scratches on her cheek were gone, but the place which had been bitten twice on her neck had a bruise, and she was almost afraid to look at her back, which Rhane knew was still welted. Sighing, the Gryffindor went down to breakfast in the Common Room, knowing that she should have a good meal before she tried to get ready. The Yule Ball wouldn't be as big of an affair as it had two years ago, in her fifth year, she knew. Still, the brunette would have felt wrong somehow if she hadn't done as much as possible to make herself look nice. Rhane gulped her food down and ran to the showers---and baths, of course.  
  
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Draco watched her go with an eerie, almost unblinking gaze.  
  
"Um, Draco? Are you alright?" A puzzled-looking Crabbe asked in a bewildered voice.  
  
'Am I alright? AM I alright?! I probably couldn't be less alright, but--- somehow---they wouldn't understand. Bloody idiots, both of them. I'll just say yes, whether or not it's true doesn't matter.'  
  
"Of course." The silvery-blonde snapped with a drawl. "What else would I be?"  
  
Crabbe and Goyle both shrugged and began to eat a second helping of eggs-a portion that was large enough to feed at least ten grown men, not showing any signs of stopping at that much, either.  
  
Draco sighed and held a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes in frustration. 'What shall I do? Wait at the portrait of the Fat Lady that leads to Gryffindor Common Room, I suppose. Why does it seem life never has anything on my side? She WILL be my escort, though, whatever she may have planned.'  
  
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Snape mixed his potions, acting for all the world as if nothing was any different about this day that any other. He sighed repeatedly, becoming more and more frustrated with himself, letting his mind get the better of him.  
  
'Stop thinking about her. NOW.' 'Easier said than done, my friend, you should know that by now.' 'But I WILL stop---I WILL.' 'We'll see.'  
  
  
  
The hours seemed to fly by as day darkened into evening, the sky tinted with the glorious hues of the sunset.  
  
Draco Malfoy glanced at the approaching dusk from his window as he dressed. Slowly, he pulled the clothes on and fastened them, careful when pulling something on that would cross the path of welts, scrapes, cuts or bruises. Wincing repeatedly, he finally managed to outfit himself in the new attire his father had sent specifically for the Yule Ball. Sighing, the silvery- haired boy gave a slight smirk, full of cruelty and cunning. He knew that she WOULD be his partner in this, whether or not she wished it or not.  
  
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Rhane stepped to the mirror in only her underthings. Carefully pinning her hair back temporarily so as to more easily dress, the Gryffindor girl picked up the amazing dress robe. It was so beautiful, and almost made her smile before she remembered---she wouldn't be able to leave the Common Room without running into Draco. Slowly, Rhane pulled on the dress, feeling the silken lining, on the inside of the velvet-looking layer, brush her skin, feeling ever-so-wonderfully soft. She already had sheer hose on, and now donned the small black shoes, then the silvery star earrings. Almost without meaning to, the brunette picked up the necklace and began to fasten it around her neck. It was an involuntary act, but it was too late now---it was on, and she had to admit, it did look very nice, even though it was a rose and the rest of the theme seemed to be stars. Rhane took down her hair and brushed it out, then put it up in a braid which she circled in a flat bun-like crown on her head, leaving a few whisps out in front of the ears for delicacy. She smiled at herself in the mirror---makeup had been applied earlier, right after the bath, and it still was holding fast. ******************************************************************  
  
Sighing, Rhane walked out of the Gryffindor Common Room---and was completely shocked. Draco stood there, of course, no such luck as to have him forget---but he looked so DIFFERENT. The dress robes he wore looked elegant, as if from another time period completely-one of jousting, princesses, and knights. He looked absolutely amazing, she had to admit--- but a few things gave him away. First, she could see the end of a welt across the collarbone right as it disappeared into the shirt, second, the cruel smirk that lit his face in horrible ways was upon his face---she knew which side was here tonight. Shivering slightly, the brunette felt Draco grab her arm and arrange his grip in a way that, to onlookers, would look quite gallant and gentlemanly-had they only known the pain this form of grip created, they would have felt differently.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
As they entered the Yule Ball, several raised eyebrows and a few whispers greeted them. Rhane allowed her eyes to search the crowd until she found Snape---over in a dark corner alone. Their gazes connected, and she felt the powerful line between them again. Draco smiled cruelly down at her and leaned to whisper in her ear.  
  
"No use looking for HIM, love. You're mine, and mine alone, forever now. You don't REALLY think I'll let you have a dance with HIM? Come now." His brow furrowed. "Well, maybe one dance, but not more than that, that is for certain. So choose your song wisely---that one dance with him is all you'll get. But first---let us go get some punch." He led Rhane over to the refreshment table, where he picked up two glasses of punch and carried them over to a table. Slowly, eyes on her at all times, Draco drank his punch. Rhane gulped and blushed slightly as their eyes met---why did she feel some sort of line between them, too? It made no sense!---and she quickly looked back into her drink.  
  
Finally, a slower song played, and Draco leapt up, pulling Rhane to her feet. "And now, my dear, we dance. I get the first dance, no other." So saying, he swept her into a waltz, his nails cutting into her intentionally as they danced, his eyes always on hers. Although it was beginning to hurt slightly, she had to admit that he was a superb dancer---probably trained since birth or something, she thought bitterly.  
  
Eventually, after dancing four slower songs, Rhane decided to dance her one dance with Snape. Draco watched her go with amusement and bitterness reflected in his eyes. 'Why does she always choose to take whatever time she can with HIM? She's MINE now-I love her, and she's mine. No one can EVER take her away. MINE.' He held a hand to his forehead and downed half a mug of butterbeer. A few other girls, some Slytherins, approached him to ask for a dance, but he turned them down. Rhane was the only person he intended to dance with, though he would allow her, just this once, a dance with the Potions Master she so dearly loved in all her lives. This time, though, Draco swore that HE, not Snape, would win. He drank the rest of the butterbeer and headed back for another.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry the chapter's short, I'll try and write a longer one later.^__________^No, the Yule Ball isn't over with this chapter, there's more to come. 


	16. Jealousy

Never Lose Me  
  
Chapter Sixteen: Jealousy  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad, even. A bit twisted, too-and kinda long. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^' Sorry it's late, I was babysitting last night and tonight I saw a play.^_^;  
  
Iris by the GooGoo Dolls is a wonderful song to write this story to..^_^  
  
************************************************************************ As my eyes smolder, I feel my vision go black. I never got the chance to change this, either, I wish fate would cut me some slack.  
  
Love tangles with torment, As light flickers on and off. I swear I didn't mean to display such cruel intent, It's just that it's my nature to scoff.  
  
I wish I were different, But here I go, hitting you once again. I have to hurt you, sorry that's so blunt, It's the only way my personality will go, the only thing it thinks it can win.  
  
I clench my fist and narrow my eyes. I know you love someone else, not me, But I can't stand to see you talking with other guys. I despair because I know my love is eternal, it has already proven to be.  
  
So remember all this, And try to be kind. I may be violent when we kiss, Remember that it's me who, out of love for you, is blind.  
  
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Draco watched, his silvery eyes slightly narrowed, his lips clenched tightly together, his hand shaking slightly, gripping the mug the butterbeer had been in. 'Calm down. You promised her, after all--- remember that. YOU promised her, not anyone else. YOU. So just sit down and be serene, cool, unaffected, CALM.' 'I know. I know what I've done---NOW. I didn't realize it would sting so---.' 'And she hasn't even ASKED him to dance yet! I think you need to look away for this---.' '---.'  
  
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Rhane approached Professor Snape, slight flush to her cheeks, looking nervously down at her toes, then up into the coal-black eyes of the Potions Master, then back down, repeating this for a minute or two before gathering courage and speaking.  
  
"Please, Professor---you look so distant and saddened, do join me for a dance?" She looked so pleadingly that Snape, who had actually been entertaining second thoughts about the whole thing, found himself incapable of saying no. Sighing, he held his arm out, which she took, and accompanied her to the dance floor, to the astonishment of many students and teachers, evident by the sudden flurry of whispering around the entire congregation.  
  
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Draco was, indeed, forcing himself not to watch, as well as turning down dances from the few other girls who, not frightened enough by the stories, had decided they'd ask. Sighing, he put his head in his hands and began what felt like endless waiting for the end of the song. The headache was intense, and the Slytherin knew that this did not bode well for whatever good rested deep within him, hidden far beneath the hardened, jealous block of ice and stone that was normally his heart and soul.  
  
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Rhane smiled as she and Snape assumed the waltz position and she nearly laughed with surprise at the discovery that he as well, was a fairly decent dancer. Not as good or well-polished as Draco, he stepped on her feet a few times, but it felt so amazingly wonderful, so full of truth and purity and all that was good that the Gryffindor was trembling slightly from the strain of being so near to her love, and attempting to hold in the wish to grab him and snog him until she could no longer breathe. Stifling the urge was growing more and more difficult, particularly when their gazes met and were caught, like flies in a web, to the many-lifetimes-strong bond that kept the cycle going. "Severus, I---." The girl whispered, too quietly to have been heard but by the very most attentive of listeners, with the very best of hearing abilities. He dipped her slightly and whispered with the same near-voicelessness, "I know. And yet, there is nothing I can do, nor can you. Our fate, as always, is sealed. Forever, until time itself ends." This seemed to be his explanation and he would say no more.  
  
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All too suddenly, the song ended, and almost instantly, Draco, with a face like a darkening stormcloud, was at her side, his fingers digging painfully into the tender flesh on the inner side of her elbow. Rhane kept the pain from her face, however. It would not do to let it show, after all.  
  
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Draco nodded curtly to the Potions Master and all but dragged Rhane into the gardens. His face was slightly pink, though from embarrassment or anger, even Rhane could not tell, and she prepared for the worst. Moments later, a ringing slap landed on her cheek, and his lips were on hers again, as if trying to hold back any other emotions. When he finally pulled away, leaving his trademark bite of the bottom lip, he spoke in a voice that was a frightening tone of quiet, while slowly running his nails across her arms, leaving tiny trails of shallow cuts.  
  
"Rhane, I hope you realize that is the last time you will be alone with Professor Snape. EVER. I love you, I swear it upon my own bones, you KNOW it is so, and I cannot BEAR to see you with him. It shall not happen again, I shall not allow myself to be so weak as to give in to your whim. NEVER." He stared, eyes aflame, into her face. "Is that clear enough?"  
  
Rhane nodded, eyes widened with slight fear, and a little fascination as well. 'FASCINATION?! At WHAT? The lunacy of Malfoy?' '---.' 'You ARE a fool.'  
  
Draco took her by the arm and led her back into the Yule ball. They danced one more dance, then the Slytherin took her back to her Common Room and left without even once bidding her goodnight. Sighing, she barely managed to change from her dress robes and sink into bed. By the time her head hit the pillow, Rhane was already in dreamland, her wrists already bruised, though she hadn't noticed yet, from earlier, a red mark still across one cheek and claw marks still across her arms in intricate patterns.  
  
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When she didn't see Draco at first, Rhane felt a bit worried, though she had no idea why she'd be worried over that bugger. By noon, the girl knew why he was hiding. ************************************************************************  
  
Draco hadn't intended for Rhane to see him like this, but when she turned the corner, he'd been too startled to cover the bruises, worse than ever before. He didn't know what had possessed his father to be waiting for him by the Slytherin Common Room after the Yule Ball, but it had been worse the previous night than he could ever recall it being before. Draco knew his temperature was now far higher than it should be, he couldn't wear a shirt comfortably, and he had been sitting alone at a dead end for most of the day. Unfortunately, it had been the place Rhane intended to hide from the world in, as well, and she could now see all the bruises, all the pain that had been inflicted on him---his weakness. He cursed himself inwardly. WHY?  
  
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Rhane stared at the skin showing beneath Draco's unbuttoned, half off of his shoulders, white shirt, at the arms revealed because he had rolled up the sleeves. Almost all of his skin was covered in dark blue-purple bruises, and the only places she could see that weren't were covered in welts, except for his hands and his face---for the most part. One eye was black, all bruised and swollen, and he tried to hide all of this while staring blearily, pitifully, at her through his injured eye. "Please--- don't---don't look at me. GO AWAY."  
  
Rhane carefully touched a shoulder, noting that even that lightest of gestures made him wince and bite his lip slightly. "I will not. You need help, Draco. Not just physical help, either, aren't I right? Your----your-- --family---."  
  
"What of them?" Came the surly answer, a glare so intense that Rhane felt a chill run down her body and was suddenly very glad that Draco was now too weak, too in pain to do anything to her right now.  
  
"T-They---someone---you are abused, right?" She whispered the last part, casting her eyes down and looking up at him through the lashes, as if trying to hide behind them.  
  
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Draco said nothing, merely turning his face away. "It's none of your business, even if you ARE my future wife. None of ANYONE's business, really." Draco tried to stand and felt his legs buckle, feeling humiliated as the girl caught him and kept him from completely hurting himself by falling. She stared into his face, almost looking concerned. 'Concerned? She has no concern for me. She probably is merely hoping I die soon from all of this.' 'You know that isn't true. Maybe in other lifetimes it would be, but this one feels---different somehow. You know that.' 'Perhaps. But it's still none of her business!' 'Perhaps.'  
  
He stared the girl over, looking first at the pretty face with all its human flaws and beauty, then down at the curvy figure beneath the face, then back at the face, into the luminous green eyes, so large and framed by such long, dark lashes, that held him their captive, even as he held her physically. He might seem to have the upper hand, but Draco knew that it had been she who had bewitched him, and she who had the true advantage, whether she knew it or not. The silver-blonde boy doubted she knew the power she had over him. Though nothing could change his personality, Rhane could bend some sections, incredibly tiny amounts of bending, but a little is better than none.  
  
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Rhane stared at Draco, feeling something surge between them, feeling a blush rise to her face and wondering why, cursing it for showing up suddenly, for no apparent reason. "Wait here, I'll be right back."  
  
Grimacing with pain, he caught her wrist. "Where are you going?" He managed.  
  
"To get some cold rags for your bruises---especially that shiner. You definitely need to treat it somehow, you know." She headed for the nearest bathroom, leaving the Slytherin to watch her leave with a sort of muddled astonishment. 'She's going---to help ME? Whatever for? I---doesn't she--- hate me? What am I thinking of? Of course she hates me, that will NEVER change.' He sighed slightly.  
  
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After about ten minutes, Rhane returned, laden with a bowl of cold water and small rags. She sat down next to him, dipping one rag in the icy water. "This is probably going to sting-." She didn't finish the rest, 'and I'd love to say you deserve it, but no, you'd only deserve it if it was someone like me who'd given you any pain or bruises---but this sort of beating is going a bit too far.'  
  
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Draco winced and bit down hard on his lip, drawing a drop of blood, as Rhane touched the rag to the nearest bruise. The chill of the water on the skin that felt as if it were on fire gave a sensation that was both pleasuring and painful. He closed his eyes and let himself drift into the deepest recesses of his mind, reliving everything that had happened to create the horrible injuries covering his body. It seemed only a moment, when suddenly, she was gently turning his head and preparing to dab at his eye with another fresh cloth. He clenched at her arm with his nails and saw her flinch through his good eye, but she kept her arm steady and applied the cloth carefully to his eye.  
  
"Ow!" He half-yelped. "Oh, hold still-----there. That should feel better now. Is that the last of them?"  
  
Draco felt a blush rise to his cheeks---foolish emotions!--- and spoke a bit forcefully. "Not anywhere I care to be touched with a cold rag by you, thank you." He felt very satisfied with the sight of the crimson flush that leapt across her entire body, it seemed, and almost laughed. He held himself back, though, by the seriousness of the moment, not wanting to say thank you and seem weak and soft, not wishing to sit in complete, awkward silence. After several moments, he whispered, "You have my gratitude, and---." He looked down. Rhane had fallen asleep, her head resting next to his foot. Sighing, Draco rolled his eyes. Had he felt a bit better, he might have slapped her awake by affronting his dignity---he, DRACO MALFOY, had dared to thank someone aloud---and she---SHE---had slept through it! Glaring slightly, he grabbed a rag and held it to his eye, staring, deep in though, at the wall opposite him.  
  
Author's Note: Hope that was good!^_^ I really try. I love writing, and I love to hear from people about my writing, be it good or ill---but remember- --constructive criticism, I have very sensitive feelings!^___^;^_^ 


	17. Bitter

Never Lose Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Seventeen: Bitter  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^'  
  
  
  
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Once I relied on logic and an emotionless void, Once I thought I could keep distanced from the world. I know you believe I have destroyed--- Destroyed everything you are and leaving your mind swirled.  
  
I don't only exist to seduce, And yet I will not allow myself a truce. My pride holds me in check, And my heart is a wreck.  
  
Please accept me, though I know your love is not mine, And for you I shall forever pine. Even when we are united, I know how I feel is not how you feel, But I would, for you, lie, cheat and steal.  
  
Love is a many-splendored thing they say, Though I know that it is in truth the deepest torture that never goes away. I cannot resist the feeling, And it sends my mental state reeling.  
  
I'm sorry I hurt you again and again, Over and over, I inflict pain. It's my nature, unable to stop, Hit you until to the floor you drop.  
  
But---I still love you. Believe me, everything I say is true. I could never wish for another, it's you I want forever, But in showing love I am a failure.  
  
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Draco stared in the mirror. He didn't remember how he had managed to make it to his Common Room, but shrugged it off as he tried to think of a story to tell when asked about the black eye he had received from his father's violent outbreak on the night after the Yule Ball. Gingerly, he touched it and felt a lance of pain shoot through his body, leaving him trembling slightly.  
  
Of course, this was not the only bruise that he had been given. As he stared in the mirror, Draco realized that his body was livid with them, almost completely purple-blue in huge patches all over. His chest was a mass of bruised and welted ivory flesh, his back was scarred from previous beatings and covered in marks as well. Bruises and cuts trailed his arms, and, yes, his legs as well. He knew without looking that the bruises covered even his bum, and winced when he thought of sitting again. He felt so much pain that he couldn't think straight, the fever still raging and the nerves shivering with the intensity of the tortures inflicted on his pale, slim body.  
  
"I swear---I don't know what got into Father, but he's certainly made it difficult to cover up this time." The silver-blond felt slightly disturbed at the sight of his ashen, bruised face, suddenly seeming so small, pointed and fragile in the mirror. Turning away, he dressed with the greatest of care and slowly gathered his things and headed for his first class.  
  
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From the moment he sat down, Draco pulled his quill and ink out, along with his notebook, and began to write with a violent furiousness pervading his actions.  
  
'I see what you've done to me, Is this how you care? I guess I wasn't aware, Never opened my eyes wide enough to see.  
  
Now I understand the extent of your cruelty, of your twisted mind, And it shames me to know I possess it too, Tears me apart knowing I can't help but be like you. If only I could change what I know is upon my soul in blood signed.  
  
But I cannot, and because you are this way so am I. It infuses my soul forever and will never go away. It will always be here to stay, Though I attempt to fight it, though I may try.  
  
And I can't fight any of what's happening, I have no control, I'm a lost dark angel who has fallen too far to ever be reclaimed. No matter what anyone does to try and change me, your ways are imprinted on my soul, From the moment I was born and named.'  
  
He nearly slumped to his desk, aware of the raised eyebrows at the black eye on his previously unblemished, flawless face. Draco knew what they were whispering, knew that some guessed the truth---but none of them KNEW it was the truth, and that was what mattered. Let them think what they would, they could never understand anything.  
  
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Professor Snape stared at the boy, suddenly feeling strange empathy for him. 'He's your rival, you know, your sworn enemy of every single life. You have to HATE him. Completely and utterly---not PITY him. After all, think of how he treats Rhane.' 'I know---.'  
  
His gaze turned to that girl, who haunted his every thought, his every memory and dream. It was as if he had not truly been alive in this life until she existed in it, and he knew that their love must have been strong indeed, that very first life, to create a cycle such as this.  
  
Sighing slightly and shaking his head, he began the lesson.  
  
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The second the class ended, Draco leapt to his feet and all but raced from the room, a bemused Rhane watching him go, then waiting until everyone else had left. She walked up to the Potions Master and ran a slender finger down his chest, standing on tiptoes to kiss him lightly across the mouth, just a brush of their lips, before turning and leaving with haste.  
  
Snape, still touching his lips with his fingers, turned to look over the classroom, and noticed something interesting.  
  
A black notebook sat atop a desk. Draco Malfoy's desk, in fact. Looking around, Snape strolled over and picked the book up, taking it to his desk. He sat down and turned to the first page---  
  
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Hours later, at noon, Snape sought Draco out and told the boy he needed to talk to him. Draco closed his eyes, inwardly cursing himself for forgetting his notebook, knowing instantly what this was about. He followed the professor back to the Dungeons, preparing cool, collected responses for questions he imagined Snape would ask.  
  
"You really are a troubled young man, Mister Malfoy. Speak the truth, or I may have to feed you a potion that will force you to." The Potions Master's voice was hard and almost angry, in many ways. Without waiting for any reply or smart remark, he continued. "That shiner---it isn't the only bruise you have today, is it?"  
  
Draco held his head high, haughtily. "It really isn't your business, SIR. And that is an honest, truthful answer."  
  
Snape glared at the boy and tried another tactic. "Your poems seem to imply that your father abuses you. Is this true?"  
  
"That depends on your definition, SIR." The silver-blonde was holding back tears and screams, wanting to tell this moron who already had the affections of the one person Draco cared about---however he might treat her- --that he had no right to take away any of Draco's secrets, no right to know these humiliating things about him and his family life. But he said nothing, merely turned his back to the professor in a way that implied that the discussion was over.  
  
"And they imply that you treat Rhane in a similar fashion---."  
  
He whirled around to face the Potions Master, silvery eyes flashing with rage. "How I treat my future wife and fiancé is NO business of YOURS, Professor---remember, you are a TEACHER and should have no interests in her whatsoever, yet you do----so how DARE you try and tell ME what I can and cannot do!" He grabbed his notebook from Snape's hands, the professor too much in shock to react quickly enough. Turning sharply on his heel, the silver-blonde Slytherin stormed from the Dungeons, leaving a stunned and self-conscious Professor Severus Snape standing, hands still stretched as if holding something very much like a book.  
  
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Draco curled up in a corner of the dead-end hallway, not surprised when he heard soft footsteps. He looked up to find Rhane standing over him. He leapt to his feet, suddenly unaware of the pain, and threw himself on her, trapping her between his battered, fevered body and the cool stone of the wall. She stared wide-eyed in shock, she had believed him to be too weakened in the state he was in to do anything now. Yet she found she could not break free and was afraid to hit him for fear of seriously hurting him---even killing him. 'Why should I care if he's injured or not? He deserves it!' 'No he doesn't---well, a little bruise maybe, but not to be completely swallowed by bruises, welts and cuts. You know that.' '---.' While her mind had been distracted, Draco had begun to kiss her neck, biting sharply in places and finally, he slammed his lips into hers, biting down hard and not allowing her any way to pull away whatsoever. Just when it seemed this kiss was some sort of double suicide plot and Rhane felt that she could not breathe a second longer like this, he pulled away, staring with unfocused eyes at her, face flushed and shining with a thin sheen of sweat.  
  
"I love you, I tell you again and again, but it doesn't matter, does it? I didn't think so. But I don't care if you don't love me or not, you're mine, you hear me? MINE. Not anybody else's. Just mine. Always---mine---." He turned and stumbled slightly as he wandered away in the direction of the Slytherin Common Room.  
  
Rhane watched him leave with muddled feelings and confused emotions. Whatever did these sensations mean? Was it fear or pity, or something else entirely? Shaking her head, the brunette felt herself sink to the ground in confusion, her mind wrecked and tired from the attempt to sort its uncharted recesses.  
  
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After several hours, Rhane awoke to realize she had fallen asleep amidst the chaos of her mind. Shaking herself and mumbling irritably at a numb foot, she managed to make it to her Common Room and sink into bed to sleep another dreamless night. Ever since everyone had realized who they had been before, in past lives, Rhane had not dreamed once. It was odd, she thought, catching hold of that one idea before slumber claimed her again.  
  
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Draco, however, could not sleep. The fever had him tossing and turning, which, due to the many bruises, meant that he was making muffled cries of pain most of the night. However much he tried, the day's events lay heavily upon his mind and he knew that this whole business would not end here, with that discussion betwixt he and Snape. If only he had made sure he had all of his things before leaving the class! If only he hadn't been in such a hurry to escape the scrutinous stares---. He had been fortunate- Snape had not been in the Slytherin Common Room when he had entered, and Draco had been able to sneak up to bed, though it was little comfort, considering his inability to fall into slumber's clutches. Sighing, the boy again attempted hold still long enough to fall into the dreamless sleep he had been experiencing lately.  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: ^_^ Hope you liked that chapter, too!^_^ I'll keep writing as long as people keep liking it----^_^ 


	18. Scars

Never Lose Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Eighteen: Scars  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^K, omeone asked for a bit more with Snape and his mind, so here goes.  
  
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"Whispers of promise turn into taunts and lies, So full of whys, It is myself that I most despise.  
  
Want to feel completely numb, A part of life's rhythm, But when I wake I realize I'm being dumb.  
  
My blood flows rich and red, As I lie here on the bed, Trying to stop it, remembering what she said.  
  
Is it my fault that I am this way? I'm sorry you didn't want to play, But asking nicely isn't my forte.  
  
Red blood like tears, Revealing all my darkest, most personal fears. It always seems that on this road of life I am not the one who steers.  
  
Is it my father who inspires this way, this attitude in my blood and soul? Wretched being that I am, I go into my own mind for a stroll, And come out everything but whole.  
  
I know who I am, unfortunate though it may be, I cannot change the darkness inside of me. Born into a life of torment and with a heart of cruelty and haughtiness, can't you see?  
  
I will never be what you---what I---want. And this shall forever my mind haunt. I wish I had never tried an approach that began with a taunt.  
  
But what's done is done, and I cannot prevent it from repeating. When I am hurt, I turn to you to afflict a beating. Sometimes I lie alone and know that, with each moment, you and I are dying."  
  
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Severus Snape stood, stretched, and stared moodily into the scratched mirror next to his bed. He remembered making those scratches, a long time ago. 'Not that I couldn't have a new mirror, if I chose---but that one has-- -memories. Memories that sometimes I try to keep in mind when Rhane gets so close. Love is an unhealthy business, I have no wish to be participating in it this time around.' He didn't even realize as his words transferred to speech, aloud. "Is it not enough that I have loved and died for Rhane in every single life for countless years?! No, I have to have been cursed with loving and losing another in THIS life, as well. I was such a FOOL, then."  
  
  
  
Snape shook his head and stared into the mirror with eyes dark and full of hidden mysteries and miseries. "Let Rhane and Draco bear their scars outside as well as in---mine are all on the inside, where no one can ever see, where no one can ever try their idiotic sympathy on ME. After all this time, what good would sympathy do, anyway?" His voice was almost flat and emotionless, and most would have not even thought of listening to his words---except those who knew him so well that they could discern even the tiniest quirks in his speech, as his words held now. Sighing, he pulled a comb through his thick, oily hair. Hair he hadn't bothered to seriously care for since SHE had been gone. Oh, certainly, he had washed it---about once a week, at least. SHE had loved his hair clean and soft---but she wasn't here anymore. A sudden longing to wash and scrub it until it shone came across him, to see what Rhane would say, what Rhane would do---but he shoved that urge to the side. 'Why should I let myself think of these things? I can no longer deny that I love the girl---but I have no RIGHT. If I suddenly change NOW, while she is still attending this school, I shall give myself away. I refuse to play THAT part.'  
  
The Potions Master dressed as quickly as he could, still fastening his cloak's clasp as he turned to step through the door and was astonished when he knocked Rhane to the ground. 'How long was she there? WHAT HAS SHE HEARD? Oh, I AM a fool indeed!' To her, he spoke aloud, holding his hand outstretched for her to take in order to help her up. "What were you doing there, Miss Jiyn?" Snape's voice was soft, inquisitive, cool, with a sharp edge hidden just beneath that cushioned surface. In response, she grabbed his hand, first pressing it to her soft lips, then using it to draw herself to her feet, not releasing it. However, nor did he attempt to pull away. She pushed him back into his room, and he felt slightly overwhelmed as anxiety filled him. He had a class---as did she!---and if they both arrived late, all would not be well for them.  
  
He knew he was powerless to resist her, though, and found himself embracing her as if they had been apart for a millennium or more. It certainly felt that way sometimes. His arms wrapped around her and his lips sought hers in a passionate kiss. Finally, he pulled away, unable to allow himself to take this any farther. 'I will NOT allow things to end as they have so many times before. This cycle WILL end this time.'  
  
"Love, I have missed you SO terribly much. Please do not pull away--- Please." Her eyes were so large and pleading, pools of emerald shining in the pale, oval face that haunted his mind every second of the day.  
  
"We must go to class. You should arrive first, I will say I became detained from being there first thing, as I normally am, by talking to Dumbledore about important matters that do not necessarily need to be discussed with the student body. Do you understand?" His voice was slightly husky, as if he had been crying or some such thing---but Rhane knew that must be impossible. Surely Snape would not cry!  
  
As he watched her walk away, Professor Snape suffered a memory---a beautiful raven-haired girl, eyes like silver moons. 'Why am I remembering her again? Rhane is nothing like her, and was not in ANY of our lives anything like her. She was----different in every way.' 'No---no she wasn't, and you know it. Looks, maybe, they do not share, but personality-wise, they are alike enough to have been twins. And that is why you remember HER.' '---.'  
  
Snape began to ready himself for class, and the elaborate plan he had devised to explain his lateness.  
  
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The moment the class was over, Draco grabbed Rhane's arm and dragged her, a surge of strength coming to his recently frail, fever-ridden body. He unceremoniously stripped to the waist, obviously overheated from even just one class. The silver-blonde Slytherin grabbed hold of her hand and pulled it to his pale, full, sneering lips. At first, his kiss to the hand seemed gentle, then he began to nibble, then finally, bit down hard, leaving little puncture wounds bleeding slightly. Fortunately, he had not hit a vein---yet. He shoved her into a wall, smiling in a crazed way with fire in his eyes, and turned to open his schoolbag, pulling out the whip. He pulled her robe and vest off, and turned her back to him, cracking the whip with abandon perhaps five or six times before dropping it and giving a hysterical little laugh at the sight of the drops of blood beading through the white cotton dress shirt. The boy turned her back around and began planting small, feather-light kisses all over her face and neck.  
  
"Please don't be angry with me, Rhane---I just couldn't bear the thought that you and---and Professor Snape were alone together---no, don't give me that insolent story he gave earlier, that excuse---I know the truth. I don't know what you did, but it hurts me, hurts me more than any of these bruises that cover my entire body from head to foot, scars me so badly inside that I wonder if I shall ever recover. Sometimes I doubt it. I LOVE you, Rhane, and no one but you do I want. I want YOU, and it is YOU who is mine, don't you see? Mine. I do so love you---." He bit down sharply on her neck again, but drew only a tiny drop of blood, which he immediately kissed away. When he faced her again, his lips were stained red with her blood. To her shock, he leaned forward and kissed her, a kiss that perhaps felt all the more fiery because his skin was so very much on fire, while hers was rather cooled from the chilly air, though something about the kiss was warming her face with a flush.  
  
He gripped her in a fierce hug and then reached into his bag again, causing her to shrink back. However, this time, Draco produced one long-stemmed, amazingly beautiful red rose, the richest red she'd ever imagined, with the sweetest fragrance in existence. Rhane knew her eyes were lighting up, cursing herself inwardly for such foolishness, she allowed him to place the glorious flower in her hair, twining it behind her ear with the help of the headband she was wearing.  
  
"Beautiful----." He whispered in that silky, satin voice of his, then coughed in a very painful-sounding way. "I must go, but please remember that I care, regardless of what I do." Gently, he brushed his lips against hers, and picked up her discarded vest, pulling it over her head and handed Rhane her robe. "Don't get cold." He gave a little smirk, bowed, and left with all speed, not forgetting any of his things.  
  
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Rhane stood there, hands brushing her lips and sometimes timidly touching the rose. Almost spontaneously , she slumped to her knees, and felt the tears begin to rain from her eyes. "Why? What are these feelings I feel? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" All of a sudden, she heard a fluttering, and looked up in time to see a midnight-black owl leaving the hall. Looking down, she saw a letter---the envelope was the inkiest black she'd ever seen, the lettering bone white. She opened it and began to read in confusion.  
  
*** Dearest Rhane,  
  
I wonder if you see me? Do you know I am here? I want you too. I watch you all the time, and wish for just one word, even a smile. I know you would like me, if only you knew me. Please, do not delay in searching for me. I await you.  
  
Sincerely, Your truest love, though you may yet be unawares. Rhane's eyes narrowed in puzzlement. 'Not ANOTHER boy to deal with---I love SNAPE! But---I feel oddly about Draco, I don't even WANT to understand THOSE feelings, and now, here's this mystery person who sounds to be a stalker and probably a nutcase! Can my life GET any worse?! No---wait. I'm sure it can---Murphy's Law. ((Note-Murphy's Law is that anything that can go wrong, WILL.)) Whatever shall I do? I need to know who this person is, so that I can avoid them---but how shall I know? What, I search for everyone who writes in white on ink-black paper?!' Sighing, the Gryffindor suddenly felt completely drained of energy, completely tired out and wanted merely to sleep. Yet, there were still the rest of her classes, so she pulled herself up and stumbled on to her next class, the mystery left unsolved.  
  
  
  
Author's Note:OOOOH,intruige.^_^teehee.^_^lala.Hope you enjoyed this chapter!^_^ 


	19. Confessions

Never Lose Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Nineteen: Confessions  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^K, here goes, first, some thanks.^_^  
  
THANK YOU :  
  
The-m-chick: Thanks for your support, you're a great friend and an excellent author!^_____^ Keep up the good work!^_^  
  
Lady Juleya: Thanks for being one of my first reviewers!^_^  
  
Aelis: You, too!^__________^  
  
Marvin: thanks!!!^_______^  
  
Clara: THANK YOU!!^_^  
  
Helena Darjeeling: THANKS!^__^  
  
HEN: Encouragement much appreciated!^___^  
  
Sabby: Yay! Glad you liked it!^______^ Hope you're still reading!^_^  
  
Little One: Reinforcement is GREAT!^_______^ Thanks soooo much!^_______^  
  
Sarah: YAY!^________^Thanks for reviewing, you know you're one of my best friends. One of the few who'll put up with my weird freakishness and my disturbing, over-emotional ways. Few do that, you know^_^' Can't IMAGINE why.^_^lol  
  
Amiella Rogue:THANKS! ^____^Still reading the story?  
  
RoseFyre: YAY! Thanks so much!! And you seem to keep coming back!^________^:is happy: Glad people like my twisted story-ness of doooom!^_^_^' YAY!^____^  
  
Piper: Thanks!^_^Please keep reading!!!^_^  
  
Aelf: THANKS!^________^:happiness of doom: It's great to get reviews from such cool people as this story seems to be attracting..^_^  
  
LCM: Thanks for reviewing, and for allowing me to explain that aspect of the story. ^_^ Do read on, please?^_^  
  
LadyLaura020: You're a great writer! I really like your poetry, keep up the good work,k?^_^ Yay!^_^ Read her poetry, other peoples!^_________^  
  
  
  
hoodedfigure22134: Thanks for your ideas! Glad you enjoy my story, I'll try and update the other Harry Potter one eventually...Have to be in a sappier mood for that one.sure, it's going to have its dark moments, but THIS is my truly dark, disturbing work so far.^_^ .by the way, if anyone expects this new person to be a saint and rescue Rhane from the darkness, they'll be sorely mistaken. ^_~ ((that's a wink)) That would be FAR too easy. And not so fun.^_^ Anyways, have fun reading, please!^_^ lol^_^  
  
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"Confessions made in the depths of night, Listen not to everything I say of my plight, It might make you run in fright. I cannot bear to see you vanishing from sight.  
  
Fear brings these dark confessions to mind, My heart and soul is in a bind. What if this mystery's source you do find? I think something is making you blind.  
  
Understand, I can wait forever, until the end of time. I suppose you think that my loving you is humanity's repeated crime. But my soul abhors the daytime, I think that if you loved me, life would be sublime.  
  
Angel, I'm drowning in despair, Please, give me a sign that you might someday care, I know you don't like the way I hungrily stare, Or the way I do things to you others wouldn't dare.  
  
But I can't help these things I do, I only want to be with you. Believe me, everything I say is true, Although I can't help my cruelty, I always say I love you,too."  
  
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A tall, slim silhouette stood beneath dark shadows. One slim, long- fingered hand flashed into the greyness that passed for light in the hallway and the figure let a long-stemmed, black rose fall to the floor and turned, disappearing, just as Rhane came down the hallway. She stared at the flower upon the ground, turned and looked both ways, then picked up the rose carefully.  
  
"Is it from that---person---who sent me the letter? It's certainly BLACK. Though it isn't an envelope or a letter." Rhane sighed and twined the flower in her hair, where Draco's had been the previous day, thinking little of the consequences.  
  
Draco's eyes were upon Rhane as she entered the classroom, the silvery eyes widening, then narrowing as he saw the black rose-the color of ebony-in her brownish auburn hair. He seethed as he went through the class, even the day, waiting until the last meal of the day had been consumed to exact his questionings, his revenge.  
  
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As Rhane came up to the portrait of the Fat Lady in front of the Gryffindor Common Room, a hand shot out and caught her by the arm.  
  
"Wh-Draco, please! I am tired, let me go to sleep!" The girl cried softly aloud, knowing the moment she begged that her pleas fell on deaf, jealous ears. 'But why? I have not seen Snape alone today, I do not---oh! The rose! Oh, no---.' She felt herself being dragged, and noticed immediately where they were going---outside.  
  
"We shall be caught, Draco, you know what the security is like around here! Filch---or Mrs. Norris---shall find us and that will be that-detention! Or worse."  
  
She received no answer, and so shut up instead, not wishing to bring that undesirable attention upon them. Soon, she knew exactly where they were going-the gardens. When they arrived, He shoved her forward through a maze of hedges, arbors and little gateways, until he reached a semi-enclosed little place that reminded Rhane of a hideaway of some sort. She rubbed her arm and wrist the second he released her, and stared with blatant fear on her face, in her eyes.  
  
"What is it?" The Gryffindor whispered, voice trembling.  
  
"What is it? What IS it?! As if you can play the innocent with ME!" Draco's speech, though quiet, was seething, a waver in it that spoke of emotion and pain. He grasped the black rose and all but ripped it from her hair, a thorn scratching her cheek as it was whisked past her face, leaving a light cut that bled slowly.  
  
"Why do you have this? I never gave you such. Was it Snape? Did HE give you this rose, this inky flower?" He stared at her with wild, angry eyes, eyes full of sorrow and like liquid quicksilver in the moon's soft light.  
  
"No. It was not Snape---I---I don't know who left it for me." At his disbelieving look, her voice became harder. "HONEST. It's some secret admirer---stalker, whatever you call it. I could care less, I just thought it was a pretty flower and shouldn't be wasted, but had nowhere to put it but in my hair! I swear it is so." 'Why do I care what Draco thinks? Why NOT say the flower was from Snape? I would say fear, but it is not that feeling---not wholly. Oh, I do not know where my mind has left to, but it is definitely on some sort of extended holiday, I am certain!'  
  
The silver-blonde boy looked at her, and rage seemed to be rising in his body, which was already hot and flushed from the fever. He wrapped his slim but surprisingly strong arms around her waist and drew her so close that she could feel his heartbeat all over, in her very bones. His breath sent shivers down her spine, gave her goosebumps everywhere, made her cheeks and ears flush crimson. 'Whatever is the matter with me, anyways? He's only intending to bite me or otherwise hurt me, so why does it seem to thrill me so, as if I was enjoying it? It is completely impossible. I love Snape, and only Snape.'  
  
"You swear upon everything that exists that you are being completely honest?" His voice sang into her ear, silky smooth, soft as velvet, slippery as satin.  
  
She swallowed and whispered in reply. "Of course I am. I could not have lied in such a bold, blatant way had I WISHED to. And there was no need to lie." Rhane forced her voice to sound calm, cool, collected, completely in control, though she knew this couldn't be farther from the truth.  
  
Draco tilted her chin and looked straight into her eyes, feeling yet again that he was completely and utterly lost without her, knowing that he could not help but hurt her, that she could never love him, no matter what. He felt his soul dissolving, vanishing within those green depths, but realized he was incapable of pulling away.  
  
Rhane stared up into Draco's silvery eyes, shining and mysterious, veiled as they were. Behind those tortured eyes, she knew, lay a soul that held some dark secret. Curiousity won her over and the brunette wondered what it was, wanted to know so terribly badly that she felt she might die if the secret was kept from her.  
  
Before she could open her mouth to speak, Draco's lips were blocking her from doing so, first biting her lip, then melting into a softer, gentler kiss, though a definitely passionate sort of kiss. Rhane fought the urge to return the embrace, knowing that she should not get caught up in such a silly moment. After all, she loved Snape, Draco was merely a torment who abused her and claimed to love her---no better than the stalker who was leaving letters and roses for her. Yet---something whispered otherwise, but she locked it in a tower in her mind and threw the key into the ocean beneath.  
  
Draco finally pulled away, grasping one wrist in a bruising grip and raising her hand to his lips in that aristocratic manner. He kissed her hand and nibbled it a bit, biting softly where he had bitten the previous day, causing a shiver of pain to run through her body.  
  
"Come along, we should head back---before someone finds us." Without waiting for a response, the Slytherin took her other wrist in that vice- like grip and began to haul her back to the inside of the school.  
  
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When they reached the Gryffindor Common Room, Draco released her now red and in pain wrist from his grasp and gave her an ironic-looking smile. "I love you, Rhane. Please remember this before you make me jealous again. Twice will not be forgiven, and three times will tear me to pieces inside." He turned and walked away, coughing slightly as he went.  
  
Rhane stared after him, and the Fat Lady clucked at her.  
  
"Out this late? With a ruffian Slytherin like him? He doesn't seem to treat you well either, foolish girl. Besides, everyone knows Draco Malfoy is Bad News, with capital B and N. Whatever WERE you thinking?" The prim voice of the portrait assailed her ears. "Nothing. I don't love him, I love someone else, but he thinks he can win me over." She mumbled distractedly, then spoke the password and was allowed entrance. The last thing she heard from the Fat Lady was a tutting sound.  
  
Sighing, she walked up to her room-to find a black owl upon her bed, window open and swinging in the wind. At first shocked, she grabbed some owl treats and gave the big midnight brute some, then opened the window, at which point he flew away instantly without looking back.  
  
Rhane looked at what he had left. It was a small parcel all wrapped in black, again with white writing. Slowly, she opened it and her eyes widened slightly at what was inside.  
  
A beautiful sketchbook, heaven only knew how many pages, small, but not too small, black leather covering and smooth, crisp white drawing paper contained within. It was absolutely amazing---but how did this mystery person know what she loved most? Suddenly, she noticed a letter. Rhane opened it(black with white writing still) and read the contents with speed.  
  
***Dearest Rhane, Please accept my gifts. I know you love to draw, I have seen you sketching about all the time, doodling on school papers. I told you I knew you--- I've watched you forever, I probably know you better than you know yourself. Enjoy the gift---please realize who I am and share your work with me.  
  
Sincerely, The mystery-man who loves you more than life itself ***  
  
Rhane simply stared, then shook herself to clear her head. She was TIRED, and wanted nothing more than sleep right now. It had been a long evening, far too long for her taste. Moving aside the papers and sketchbook, she struggled out of her clothes and managed to throw on her nightgown before crawling into bed and falling asleep the moment her head hit the soft feather pillow.  
  
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A soft shadow departed the area right beneath a certain Gryffindor girl's window, ink-black owl on his arm, silent as Death. A slight smirk was on the being's soft, full, pale lips, the moonlight shining off skin that seemed the color of bone, the palest ivory in existence save for the cold colors of death. The figure disappeared into the school again, having completed its task and feeling quite satisfied indeed.  
  
Author's Note: Enjoy? Yes, there will be more stalkerness before he is revealed.^_^ whee!^_^ 


	20. Masks

Never Lose Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Twenty: Masks  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^Sorry for not writing for a little bit, I was cleaning all day yesterday for Thanksgiving today.^_^  
  
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'Angel I am not, Perhaps I am a mere sot. I know I can be a devil, it appears that is my lot. I suppose you wish I'd rot.  
  
It is you who are the angel, though perhaps not innocent, you are indeed sweet. You make me feel an untidy slob, I've never felt less neat. And I know that, for you, seeing me is not any sort of treat. Yet I intend to win you, though I know not how I'll manage this feat.  
  
Hurt and hurt alike, I want to strange anyone who might be trying to take you from me. Perhaps my love for you has blinded me and made me unable to see, I wish that we could just be left to be. But my father would, if leaving me alone is the only other option, rather I was hung from a tree.  
  
Do you see the welts and bruises, the cuts and pains that I bear? My mask of haughty superiority may well just be a mask I wear. We all wear masks, though, and you see through them if you take to time to stare, If you take the time to venture into the monster's lair.  
  
What mask do you wear, dearest one? For I know that whilst I call you angel, you aren't shining inside like the sun. You,too wear a mask, one that perhaps insinuates that none of this is any fun, And perhaps it resembles the feelings of the true you, and the race still must be run.  
  
Fair lady, I know I cause you pain because I myself am in pain, And I do not wonder that you believe you will not stand to gain, But remember that I love you, even as the moon begins to wane. I love you so, though from hurting you I cannot refrain.'  
  
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Softly, softly did the shadow in the darkness move. A small note attached to a package, all of it black, was left next to the Gryffindor Common Room, and the shadow vanished, as if into thin air itself, the moment Rhane stepped out of the entrance. Looking down, she spotted that which was left for her, and her brow furrowed. Whatever could it be this time? Rhane threw the package and note into her bag, to be opened later.  
  
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Snape stared into space, a slightly blank and glazed look to his expression as he conjured up a memory of the first woman he had loved in this life. He let his mind bring her name into focus---Alin. Alin Meriole. He had loved her, little minx that she was! And---'At one time, she loved me as well.' Snape whispered to himself, inside his mind. Yet, there had been a new person in her life months after they began dating. She had met the intensely personable Samuel Tyrin, a boy known for his dashing good looks and his terribly wicked flirtations with those of the female persuasion. Snape had seethed, unable to do anything as Alin drifted firther from him, nearly ripped his hair from his head when, their final year at Hogwarts, she had become engaged to the git.  
  
He remembered all too well-he had kept that mirror, that atrocious representation of all his anger, all his pain, through the rest of his years, hanging it in his new room as a Professor, and always remembering with poignancy his inability to make the woman he had loved love him. And now there was Rhane, whom he could not truly express his full emotions too until she had graduated-and even then, it was bound to raise eyebrows, the age difference being so great and all. Of course, there was also the matter of that medieval-style marriage arrangement between Draco and Rhane. Sighing, he felt a strange memory tug at him---being invited to Alin and Samuel's wedding-he had attended, but remained alone in a dark corner throughout the entirety of the ceremony---what else? Oh. Yes, Alin had wrote him once more-and only once-to inform him that she and Samuel had a son-what was the boy's name? He couldn't recall, for the life of him. Ah, well, it was of little importance, anyways, he imagined the boy had probably not turned out to be a wizard, he did not remember seeing anyone who resembled Alin or Samuel, but, of course, the boy might look completely different-one never knew-or he might not have noticed the child.  
  
************************************************************************ Rhane finally managed through her first class, trying not to look to often at Snape or Draco, though why she felt the need to look over at Draco was of the greatest perplexity to her. She left the classroom when class ended without any reproach or hindrance from Draco, he apparently saw no reason for jealousy yet today. As she exited, Rhane would have sworn she saw a shape move away from the hall with extreme swiftness, like a deer chased by a hunter, a shape all in black, with unruly hair of the darkest black she had ever laid eyes upon. She attempted to follow the shadow, but soon realized that she would never catch up-indeed, perhaps it had all been her imagination, so determined to find the person who was stalking her that it had conjured up these strange visions. Rhane suddenly wanted more than ever to open the package and the letter that seemed to be burning a hole in her schoolbag, but restrained herself, knowing she must wait until noon. The Gryffindor didn't want to miss any more classes if she could help it, for it simply wouldn't do-not if she intended to graduate and be with Snape. 'I must wait.' Rhane told herself firmly and headed to her next class.  
  
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Noon could not have arrived sooner. The moment her class ended, she all but raced to a dead-end hallway, sitting down and instantly pulling the black package and letter from her bag. First, she opened the letter, all written in that smooth, elegant white handwriting.  
  
***Beloved Rhane, I think of you more and more each day. Your face, your eyes, your very self haunts me, and I find I toss and turn at night for inability to sleep, all because of you. I have composed a simple little poem, accept it as you have the rose, and now this.  
  
'I know you do not know me well at all, But I feel as if I have loved you since I was born. I know it's not that dramatic-it's just my heart and its foolish fall, That make me believe I will not receive from you any scorn.  
  
I cannot bear to see you love another other than no one, If you do not love me. I am my mother's only son, But all the money in the world is nothing if you are too blind to see.  
  
Please love me, please hear my cries, If not, I shall fall into despair. Know that unlike so many others, nothing I say involves a mess of lies, And I shall expire if you do not care.  
  
Blood taken from myself-I have not shirked from pain, I relish in hurting only myself when things go wrong. Perhaps I should be more flowery and from this dark talk refrain, After all, you may not be able to handle it-are you that strong?  
  
Beautiful angel, practiced temptress, Whichever you are means little to me-I love you anyway. I open my heart, you alone have full access, Please come to me and stay.'  
  
I hope you will enjoy the present, there will be more to follow.  
  
***Love from the shadow that rushes with the night, the one who truly loves you***  
  
  
  
Immediately, Rhane simply paled, shook herself, and turned to unwrap the package.  
  
Layers upon layers of black tissue later, she discovered a small, long box at the bottom. Upon opening it, Rhane gasped with happiness. It was a complete set of absolutely amazing, fabulously expensive drawing pencils! All black, she noticed, the papers on the pencils. Even the wood was black. Nonethess, the brunette became so absorbed in the wonderful art supplies that she didn't even notice the shadow that fell across her. When she finally looked up, her eyes widened at the sight of Draco.  
  
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'Why does she keep receiving gifts from this mystery man? I swear it makes me so----so----so ANGRY! I cannot hold my temper in check if this persists-- -I cannot hold it in right now, I can already feel it surging through my blood, through my pulse, controlling me and my actions.' The silver- blonde's thoughts slowly melted into sheer hatred, jealousy, and-hidden beneath the new stirrings of horrid emotions-love. For it was, after all, love that inspired the other emotions, love that created them.  
  
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He pulled Rhane to her feet only to shove her into the wall, placing one arm around her waist, nails cutting into her back through her clothes. He had a wild look about him, eyes aflame and skin still fevered as if a flame truly was in full blaze inside. Draco stared directly into Rhane's eyes, letting the flow of his mind be visible to her. The feelings, the raw emotion she saw there made her tremble inside, both repelling and intriguing her. 'Why do I feel as if there is something almost irresistible about his eyes? I cannot look away, try as I might----and the pain there! It is so terribly great, it is no wonder he has a fever. But, still---I do not understand what is wrong with me. I must be fevered, myself, to feel so oddly--.' Rhane tried to twist from his grasp, which resulted in a bestial growl issuing from his throat and a slap to the cheek.  
  
"Do not try and run away, pretty angel. Or ARE you quite the angel I perceive you to be? I imagine not. WHY do you keep receiving these gifts? WHY?! I LOVE you, Rhane, you KNOW I do, why do you play such games?" His voice went from a roar to a whisper, back to a roar, and ended in a soft, silky whisper that almost made her feel horribly sorry, as if SHE had done something! It was unthinkable.  
  
Draco stared pleadingly, and Rhane could only whisper, "I do not ask for them, you know."  
  
His eyes turned first hard, then so pained SHE almost cried at it. 'Foolish girl, to be so affected by others' emotions-even others who are normally so hateful---who is probably about to force a kiss on you, even!'  
  
And, indeed, Draco leaned forward, first brushing his lips slowly across hers, then letting the inevitable fire inside of him take control, biting and passionately snogging her, holding her waist and arm with a vice-like grip, cutting into the tended flesh with his nails, almost without meaning to. When he pulled back, Rhane noticed that he had bit his own lip as well-- -so their blood would mingle?!---and was licking the wound slowly, watching her with those silvery eyes. Finally, he leaned and whispered, running his nails down one of her arms almost seductively, sending shivers down her spine. "Remember, though---I love you. I may have to start reading whatever letters this other person sends you---I may be able to figure him out---and THEN---." His eyes hardened, his words became sharper, but finally he shook himself and released her, walking off into the rest of the school, to finish the day's classes. Rhane headed for her next class as well, mind still shaken up and rather confused.  
  
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The shadow stumbled into the Ravenclaw Common Room. A black rose had been left upon the fair Rhane's bedside table---his owl had seen to that. A soft, almost husky voice called that owl forth, prepared to feed it a few owl treats for good work and a job well-done.  
  
"Kuro! Kuro, owl treats!" The midnight-black owl swooped in, all dignity, and snatched up the food left for it as the shadow struggled into bed. It had been another busy day, it seemed, and the owl was simply pleased there had been treats at the end of it---nothing was worth it if there were no treats, after all.  
  
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Snape stared into the scratched mirror, trying to ascertain why he couldn't shake the feeling that something strange was going on indeed. Perhaps he was just a little overworked, a little overanxious, he needed a good night's rest. With this in mind, he blew out the candles and made an extremely difficult attempt to sleep upon hitting the pillow, though it didn't work and he stared at the darkened ceiling for at least half an hour before Slumber took him away.  
  
************************************************************************ Rhane, as well, was pulling off her clothes and changing into her nightgown, still musing over the day's events, completely and utterly in turmoil. Her last thought before she fell asleep, snuggled deep into the down comforters, was 'I must be going completely and utterly insane---all of this show of sanity and calmness---it's all just---a mask.' The Gryffindor's eyes were drooping even as she thought this, her mind trying not to finish the sentence even as it worked its way into her brain, and the moment it finished, Rhane was fast asleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note:Dooodoodododooo----:spooky music:^__^Like the chapter?^_^I DO hope so----I really like the poem for this one.^_^ 


	21. Intentions

Never Lose Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Twenty-One: Intentions  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^ Eeeps. Sorry bout not writing- --I was putting up Christmas things this weekend, as well as attending the play Arsenic and Old Lace.^_^ And visiting.^_^  
  
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'Predictions and Prosecutions, When can I ever wash my hands of this? Lies and Destructions, With my feelings something is amiss.  
  
Blood and Darkness, Why do you claim to love me? Confusion and Mess, I don't understand why a foot ahead of me I cannot see.  
  
Chaos and Emotion, What is the matter with my heart? Pity and Fun, I've got a strange feeling that I don't even want to start.  
  
Who is telling lies here, who is the innocent in this tangled web of life? Who should run and who should fall? Why does it always seem that someone feels full of strife? Why do I feel like I haven't opened my eyes to it all? What is it that makes me wonder why you want ME as a wife? What is it that keeps me sane, keeps me from letting myself fall? I don't know myself anymore.  
  
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Rhane stared, unfocused, at the ceiling for several moments before remembering that she was at school, and should be getting up and dressing, preferably right away. Leaping from her warm, cozy bed, she shivered as her feet hit the cold floor. Dressing quickly, Rhane pulled on her uniform and robe, brushing her hair as well as she could manage and pulling it back. The Gryffindor girl grabbed her back of books-and sketchbook-and all but ran from the room, running smack into Draco, dropping all of her things as she fell to the floor.  
  
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Draco looked quite startled, still wincing from the pain of such impact against his still-tender, bruised skin. After he managed to bring himself back out of the pain, he extended a hand to Rhane, in order to help her to her feet. 'Whatever was she doing, leaving with such haste? I am merely here to make sure that foolish idiot who is---stalking her, or whatever- doesn't show up or leave her anything else in the halls. I have a RIGHT to be here, and she runs right into me! Ah, well, I can escort her to our class, then, I suppose.'  
  
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Rhane stared for a moment at the slim, fragile, pale hand extended towards her, then slowly took it. 'His hand even has scars.' She realized, with a bit of puzzlement and curiosity. 'Whatever would have made them? Surely not a whip---a knife or some blade, perhaps?' The thought of that sort of torture-abuse made her shiver and wince inside, almost feeling the edge of such a thing sliding across her own flesh, her vivid imagination well at work. 'And his hands are so terribly warm, as well. I suppose he is still sick, as well, then. I pity him when he is being so---so---.' Her mind, however, was not allowed to think anymore, as Draco drew her up and yet did not release her hand. Finally, after several moments of standing there, Rhane realized the Slytherin still held her hand and pulled away, mumbling about 'getting her books and bag from the ground.' Once they were gathered, she made sure to hold the sketchbook in one hand and the bag of schoolbooks in the other, so that neither hand was free. This did not, however, save her from Draco's hooking his arm in hers, and proceeding to lead her to class in this manner. 'Oh, dear---what shall people think? What shall SNAPE think? Oh, this is not any good, I know it isn't---.'  
  
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Although the entrance to the classroom did inspire a flurry of whispers and a worried look from the Professor aimed at Rhane, the day seemed to be going well. Rhane spent several classes searching the students with her eyes, looking for someone who might be the mystery boy who sent her letters and gifts. By noon, she had almost given up. Then Rhane walked into her dead-end hall. ************************************************************************  
  
There, on the wall, two letters were taped-one in a green envelope, the other in a black one. Rhane stared. She walked up to the wall and took down both letters, noticing that the black one had already been opened, which caused her skin to pale to almost white. Draco, then, had read the letter as he'd said he would do, if given the opportunity. The girl dreaded to read the jealous Slytherin boy's letter, but knew that she would, once the mystery letter was read. So thinking, Rhane opened the black envelope and pulled out the letter on its black paper.  
  
*** Rhane, dearest of all that is dear, *** I hope you realize that my intentions are good, I do love you, though we may or may not have ever met. I cannot say that I like the company you keep-Draco and the Potions Master, whom I was warned of long ago-but I know you have no choice. You will love me as I do you, if only you solve the mystery, if only you realize who I am. Here is a little clue-meet me by the gardens at midnight, perhaps I will even let you see me. Perhaps you will just hear my voice and have only a small clue to use in your hunt. We shall see, won't we? *** The one who loves you with everything in him, to his very bones. ***  
  
Rhane shivered slightly-should she go? Perhaps she had better read Draco's letter. Rhane broke the seal quickly and pulled out the letter within, with its elegant handwriting that she recognized as the Slytherin's instantly.  
  
*** Rhane *** I read the letter, and urge you not to go. You know nothing of this person, it could be anyone, it could be someone---someone even worse than ME. I know I am not anyone to listen to, with the way I treat you, but please, allow me to go, to see who this is. Please. *** Draco ***  
  
Her skin truly had gone white now-the color of a fresh bedsheet, the white of the purest of snows. Rhane was unconsciously clenching the letters so tightly that her knuckles were white as well, and mumbling under her breath. Her mind was ticking incredibly fast, as she tried to discern what she should do. 'Draco shouldn't go-he might become involved in a wizard duel or a brute fight, and then---he's in no shape for such a thing! He would be killed! But---why does that worry me so? If he is killed, is not that one problem-one OBSTACLE- removed from my blissful union with Severus? I do not---I do not understand WHAT is wrong with me, but Draco simply CANNOT go alone. But it is no use telling HIM that, prideful creature that he is! I shall have to follow in secret---oh, this is a FINE mess.'  
  
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Draco stood up and walked slowly, with all silence, from the Slytherin Common Room fifteen minutes before midnight. He found his way to the gardens immediately and called out his challenge. "YOU! Where are you? I challenge you to come out, and show yourself!" His voice was strong, yet soft at the same time, and he was surprised at the speedy response, from right nearby.  
  
"Why, Draco, where is Rhane? I NEVER asked YOU to come, I am sure. Just Rhane---only Rhane. Why are YOU here? A face appeared before him, pale and cold as ice. He knew the face, and cursed bitterly inside.  
  
"Come on, then, what do YOU want? A fight?" He forced himself to sound dangerous, which wasn't hard, for though he knew he was in no shape to fight, Draco was enraged and upset at this particular turn of events. After all-he might have been friends with this particular pillar of society, had the strange nobleman not suddenly gone into a reclusive state that involved a lot of masochistic tendencies, as well as a few other tendencies Draco had refused to be involved in.  
  
"Perhaps I do, though you look as though I shall win this fight, so I won't consider it a fair enough one to win Rhane with. Perhaps that fight shall be later, yes, old friend?"  
  
Draco winced. "Perhaps. Name your battle."  
  
The purring, dark voice whispered as if considering the matter. "Hmmmm--- wizard's duel or physical brawl? Hmm-hmmm-hmm---I take physical brawl, if it's all the same." Suddenly, without warning, that other, tall, lithe form was right next to Draco, one hand around the Slytherin's throat.  
  
"Hmmm-it looks as if you have bruises, Draco. I never knew you were into that sort of thing, or I'd have never made that other sort of offer. Two masochists make poor friends, though I'd have guessed you a sadist----or are you sadomasochistic?" His voice was taunting, a hidden hint of mirth within. Holding Draco up by his throat, he proceeded to hit him repeatedly about the shoulders and chest, causing gurgles of pain. Laughing with a hint of glee, he looked straight into the boy's silvery eyes with his own dark violet ones. "Well, well. Perhaps this is too easy. Is this too easy?" Draco, of course, could not respond, but he tried to reach the other boy's throat with his hands, weakly clawing the air.  
  
A voice shattered the silence, breaking the night into a billion pieces. The other boy, startled, dropped Draco, looking around. "Dear, dear---the lovely Rhane has arrived---to rescue you? I think not. Ah, well, she has anyways. I will not let her see me yet, certainly not let her see me inflicting pain on you, worthless though you are. I love her, too, you know, and I intend to win her. I will not be as foolish as you." He vanished into the shadows, the blackness of his clothing blending easily into the hues of midnight.  
  
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Within a few moments, Rhane was standing, then kneeling, over Draco's limp, gasping body. His neck had a bruise very much like a handprint around it, and several wounds and welts had reopened and were bleeding. Rhane stared in shock, even more stunned at the tears forming in her eyes. 'This is all my fault.' Carfully, she tried to lift Draco into a sitting position, and noticed his mouth was slightly bloody-had he coughed up blood? That was not a good sign, she knew. Yet---it was too late at night to bring him to Madame Pomfrey. Sighing, Rhane managed to stand supporting Draco, and slowly steered his battered self into Hogwarts, to the dead-end hallway she normally inhabited at lunch.  
  
"I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner---you have been terribly hurt, all for me." Her conscience would not permit her to think of all the times HE had hurt HER. "I-I'll see what I can do. Wait right here." 'As if he's going anywhere anytime soon. His collarbone looks fractured.' 'I know.' The Gryffindor knew her face was white as a sheet, and so didn't waste any time explaining anything to the Fat Lady, hoping her expression was enough. It was. She gathered to large down comforters and a soft down pillow, as well as a bottle of anti-pain potion and a bottle of cold water. So armed, she made her way back to the hallway, and with the no-nonsense air of a nurse or a mother, she lay one blanket down and helped him to his feet and back down to lay on it, covered him with the other, and placed the pillow under his head. Once this was accomplished, Rhane forced a dose of the potion down his throat as well as some of the water. Finally, he fell asleep--- the potion had helped that a bit, as well---and Rhane, sighing, allowed herself to do the same, sitting up against the wall next to him.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry if it's short. Did you like it?^_^oooh, a bit more is now known about the stalker!lol^_^ Yes, there are some very interesting hints in this chapter.^_^ Hope you enjoy!^_^ 


	22. Understanding

Chapter Twenty-Two: Understanding  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^ I wrote this chapter today at school----lol^_^ I couldn't resist. Also, I intend to write this story until I feel it has finally reached its end, be that at 30 or 100 chapters, or possibly more, depending on how long I take this story, or rather---on how long this STORY takes ME.^_^ Please do enjoy, alright?^_^ Or try to. :smiles slightly: Draco certainly seems to end up in the hospital wing a lot, doesn't he?  
  
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'I never wanted you to know, To my pride, that is a low blow.  
  
I can't stand it, don't want to explain, Yet I can't seem to refrain.  
  
I feel hot and cold, A million years old.  
  
Don't understand anything except the pain, I never intended to put upon you this strain.  
  
Love is worry and hurt and jealousy, But it is worse in reality.  
  
Do you understand what I do and do not? Cruelty in passion is my lot.  
  
Danger and anger, horror and minds, Do any of us want to know what the other finds?'  
  
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Rhane awoke slowly, her eyes fluttering as the filtered grey sunlight illuminated the hall one fraction of an inch. Hearing the mumblings of the still-sleeping Slytherin on the floor, the girl realized where she was, and with a wince, what had happened the night before-the fight. She yawned slowly, throwing back her auburn hair and stood up, stretching. When this was done, Rhane sat back down next to the little pallet she had created for the much-wounded Draco the previous night, when he had been beaten up completely by her mystery stalker.  
  
'He seemed to know him, I almost would have thought, for the second of conversation I heard. How very odd-but, Draco knows a lot of people, I imagine.'  
  
Sighing, the brunette tapped the slim, silvery-haired boy on the shoulder with the lightest of touches, drawing her hand back as if bitten when she saw him wince, his pale face contorting with intense pain and agony. The Gryffindor remembered with a touch of remorse and a surge of pity that she believed his collarbone to be broken. A visit to Madame Pomfrey was required, though no explanation could truly be given.  
  
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"Madame Pomfrey?" The nurse turned at the sound of her name, and almost gasped in shock, appalled at what she saw. It was that Gryffindor girl- Rhane, was it?-all but CARRYING Draco Malfoy into the Hospital Wing! 'Whatever has the boy done now? Is it Lucius again, I wonder? But surely not so soon again-it must be something-someone-else, then. Not the girl, though, I'll warrant. Ah, well, a patient is a patient, and he obviously needs help.'  
  
"Well, this is a-surprise, I must say. Whatever happened child?" The kindly woman asked, wondering if she would really get an answer even so.  
  
"It's too long of a story. Let it suffice to say that he is badly injured and I think his collarbone is fractured, as well. " Rhane's soft, firm voice trailed off to a whisper as she felt unwanted tears spring into her large emerald eyes. 'Why am I crying? What a fool. There is no reason to cry-NONE.'  
  
"There, there. Everything will be just fine, no need to worry. I've seen FAR worse, believe you me. Here, be a dear and help him to one of the beds while I get the Skele-Gro to handle that fracture." The nurse walked away, presumably to retrieve the potion necessary, and Rhane led Draco to one of the beds.  
  
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Rhane sat next to Draco, finding herself incapable of leaving, try as she might. 'Such strange feelings-I do not understand them one bit!' 'Are you certain?' 'I DO NOT understand them. I do NOT.' 'Alright then, since you seem so determined-.'  
  
After Madame Pomfrey dosed the Slytherin with Skele-Gro, Rhane was left alone with the boy. She winced in sympathy-pain as the medicine began working on him, which, being a painful process, caused his face to go through a series of convulsions. Once or twice he let out an ear-piercing scream and Madame Pomfrey came in to look in on him to be sure everything was working smoothly, and the bone was knitting back together.  
  
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Madame Pomfrey entered again as dark began to fall like a blanket across the school. "Dear, visiting time is most definitely up, and you'll want to return to your Common Room now, right? I'll leave you to say your goodnights, but do hurry about it, alright?" She smiled most cheerily and went back to her desk.  
  
Rhane looked at Draco, and on impulse, grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. 'What AM I doing?' flashed through her brain, but received no response. His silvery eyes flew open at this movement, and he whispered in a grinding, pained voice. "Here-I've a letter for you. I wrote it before- before the fight."  
  
The Gryffindor took the green envelope from his frail, feeble hands, outstretched towards her, and gave a small smile, against her own will. 'Why am I smiling? It's another of his horrid letters, I am sure, for he wrote it in a state of anger and jealousy, if it was written before the fight.' However, when she spoke, Rhane's voice was soft, gentle and quiet. "G'night, Draco." The whisper fell upon his ears as the girl grabbed her schoolbag and sketchbook. As soon as she had left the Hospital Wing, she opened the letter.  
  
*** Dearest Rhane *** I didn't want to tell you, but I've a feeling you must know, though you've only guessed before-correctly, as well. Yes, my father does-does inflict these marks on me sometimes. I would not really say he-he ABUSES me, but perhaps that is merely because I do not want to believe that I am the same as him-or worse. God, I never wanted you to know! Please, DO NOT tell ANYONE. PLEASE. I also know your 'stalker.' A-friend, if you can call a liar and a fool such a thing-from my childhood he was-from my toddler days through my third year here at Hogwarts, though very few people knew him. He was always quiet, always a loner. I shall, perhaps, reveal his secrets another time, but no more now, for I have disclosed enough in this letter to make me wish I'd never written it, I am sure. Please know that-that I am grateful for all that you have done, and have faith in you not to tell my secrets which I have revealed to you and only you in closest confidence. *** Love, Draco ***  
  
Rhane stared as her hand clenched and unclenched the letter. Crystalline tears, sparkling like morning dew, flowed down her silken, pale cheeks, though for the life of her she knew not why. Perhaps she should go see Snape-he was liable to still be in the Dungeons, after all-he always cheered her up, even when he was in the worst of moods, it seemed. After all, he was her Beloved, her one and only love-or was he? The brunette felt incredibly confused, her mind a swirl of insanity, though she couldn't imagine what set off the chaos inside the depths, misty and dark, of her mind.  
  
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The Potions Master was indeed in his dungeons, fortunately for Rhane. She found him fairly easily, and stood there, watching him, until he raised his ink-dark eyes, feeling the presence of someone else in the room with him. His eyes widened with shock upon seeing her, and his mind-as well as his heart-set to racing.  
  
'What is she doing here at this time of evening? I haven't seen her lately- not alone-and seeing her now is driving all my senses completely mad! I swear I am flipping my lid. Ah, well-it is SO lovely to see her, though I must fight to control myself with every step she takes towards me.'  
  
He smiled, therefore, as warm a smile as he could muster, one which reached his eyes and made them appear the warmer black of coal, rather than the frosty hue of ink. Then Snape realized something-Rhane had been crying. Immediately, the professor rushed over to the door, shutting it, then gathered her into his arms, letting her cry into his chest. "What is it, little one?" Severus Snape whispered, gentle voice edged with concern.  
  
With a forlorn note in her own velvet-like voice, Rhane replied between small sobs. "It's just that-I hadn't seen you alone-in so LONG, it seemed! I-I missed you SO." 'I just lied-LIED-to my Beloved-over DRACO! Why?' The brunette's head set to spinning down the drain of insanity again. 'WHY?!'  
  
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Snape didn't know what was REALLY wrong with Rhane, but he would have bet everything he owned that Draco Malfy was behind it all. A surge of hatred for the boy ran anew through his veins. 'Why does he treat her in such a way? He knows she does not LOVE him-why? WHY?' His mind simply seethed with wrath. He WOULD settle this-eventually. The sharp, practical side of his brain had kicked in, stomping down the emotional flickers again. He could not really move a finger until Rhane had graduated, for the risk of losing his job would be too great beforehand, and he must have some way to provide for and support his love once they were married, after all. Finally, he released her, and gently kissing her forehead, her lips and her hand, the Potions Master nodded to his dearest. "You had better run along, before we are caught. Besides, I'm sure you need your rest." He watched her go, smiling and waving as she turned and blew a kiss from the doorway, sighing when she was gone. 'What a mess my life has become, so quickly.'  
  
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Rhane returned to the Gryffindor Common Room and tried her hardest to sleep- if only for Severus, as he had told her she should. Tossing and turning all night, she even had a pillow tossed at her accompanied by a mumbling of "Stop that bloody racket and SLEEP.", but still, she could not sleep. Finally, as it neared 4:30 AM, the brunette girl fell into a light slumber, only to awake again at 5:00, then 5:30, and at last 6:00, whereupon she decided to get up, bathe and dress. No use going back to sleep, after all- she might as well stay awake now.  
  
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At noon, Rhane returned to the Hospital Wing to check on Draco. She felt compelled to-after all, it was all her fault that he was there-it had been fighting for HER that he had been so wounded. When she arrived, he was eating a small meal of mashed potatoes and peas, with a glass of pop. Rhane felt the muscles of her face involuntarily twitch into a smile, though she was inwardly scolding them with all her might, she could not reverse them. "I-I'm glad to find you looking better, Draco-I-."  
  
He looked up at her with emotional, torment-filled eyes, windows into the soul that was full of such terrible despair, and she felt her voice stop, trapped like a fly in that gaze. 'She must think me a terrible, blood sod after all, reading that letter. Or WORSE-she might PITY me. I could not BEAR pity in HER eyes-NO! But-she knows! There is nothing I can do. She knows the truth. There is no escape from those knowing looks in those lovely green eyes NOW. Why did I tell her? I must not have been thinking straight. Or-I thought that I would die, even before I left for the gardens, before I knew who my opponent was.' The silver-haired boy looked at Rhane with his quicksilver eyes and spoke in a soft, silken voice, ever-so-quietly.  
  
"Did you read the letter?" "Y-yes, oh, Draco-I-I guessed, but I-I never KNEW-." Her voice was cut off by his. "Do you understand what it means? I cannot help but treat you the way my father treats me-it is in my BLOOD, my very VEINS! I, at least, love YOU- my father never loved ME. Still does not." His voice, so smooth, cracked slightly with a painful, bitter note imbedded within. The brunette's expression softened, her large eyes melting with emotion, and Draco felt a surge of horror. 'NO! She must NOT pity me! I need NO pity!'  
  
Before he could say anything to that extent, however, he felt a delicate, small, cool hand on his feverish cheek, which began to gain a crimson tint.  
  
"Promise me you'll keep well here and stay until Madame Pomfrey actually officially releases you, Draco. Please." The look in her eyes was so pleading, so sincere, so concerned that the Slytherin boy could only nod in shock. His astonishment increased ten million-fold, however, when she leaned over and touched her soft pink lips to his smooth, overly-warm cheek for the merest of seconds-long enough for the cheek to turn a very bright ruby red shade, though-before fleeing, leaving Draco holding one slim warm hand to an even warmer cheek in bewilderment.  
  
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Rhane hurried to her next class, completely confused and angry with herself. 'Why did I DO such a foolish thing? I am an IDIOT-a first class IDIOT! I love only Severus! I merely PITY Draco. Well-I MIGHT like him a LITTLE-but I despise him far more! I do not UNDERSTAND this-this confusion! I refuse to accept it!' She entered the next class with a toss of her waist-length hair and sat down, wearing a mask of serenity and passivity as she pulled out her sketchbook for a release of emotions. Her sketches were her feelings, and she guarded them closely.  
  
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'Whatever was the matter with Rhane today?' Snape asked himself, worry flooding his quick mind. 'And Draco was not in class-Madame Pomfrey said something about his being in the Hospital Wing or some such thing. But what is he doing THERE? And WHY is Rhane so troubled? Is it because she- pities Draco? Or something more? NO. She loves me, I love her. If we can just SURVIVE the rest of this year, we can be together legally without endangering either of our positions here-student and teacher. But, the waiting! I never realized how difficult it was to fight fate.' His inner voice tried to start another conversation and failed miserably, for the professor's mind was simply too caught up in the strangeness of the day's events. The Potions Master knew whatever it was trying to come to him was important, for he knew it felt like he was forgetting something, but for the life of him he could not remember what it was or why it was necessary. Sighing, he continued to work on the complicated potion-the sooner it was finished, the sooner he could get some much-needed sleep.  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Wrote this on a different computer, but-ah, well. Enjoy? I hope so--.^_^^_^^_^ 


	23. Candy

Never Lose Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Twenty-Three: Candy  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^ ARRRGH. EVIL %@#%# computer!!!!((I won't curse but I will bleep the non-cursing)) WHY???THAT WAS A GOOD OPENING POEM!!!!!!ARGHHH.((yet again, computer froze and deleted story chapter.)) Sarah-warning, this is a pretty graphic chapter. Sort of. In odd ways. Detailed, it is.^_^  
  
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'What is happening here? I don't understand why you did what you did. Was it pity that caused this reaction that is anything but clear? I just felt my heart beat faster-up into my throat it's slid.  
  
I can't say anything-I'd just stick my foot in my mouth again. This probably means nothing at all, I know I can never win. Why do you make it even more painful to fall?  
  
Understanding is a lost thing of the past, I don't know what's real anymore. Everything seems to be flying by so fast, For once I don't know what's in store.  
  
Your affections for me have not changed, I'm sure. I feel so alone and lost. These little moves, unexpected, do not help my mind maintain any thoughts that are pure. Everything about me is doomed---starcrossed.  
  
I feel the rage and the pain of every instant weighing me down, Something bursts inside and I know I cannot tell it no. I try to hide my feelings behind a haughty frown, But in reality, it's all a show.  
  
Like candy that leaves a bad taste on your tongue when it's gone, Tasted good then turned bittersweet without warning or reason. Comprehension never seems to dawn, Stuck in life's iciest season.  
  
I cannot change, even were the world to depend on it, I'm sorry that things have to be this way. Please know that this isn't something I like, not one bit, Please don't go away---please stay.'  
  
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Draco stared, even the medicine unable to completely make such a shocked being fall asleep. His mind raced with his heart at a rate that seemed quite inhuman, being far too fast. 'She---she kissed my cheek. SHE kissed MY cheek!' 'Calm down, it was probably not on purpose. She despises you, remember, and with good reason. She loves Snape, though there's little reason in that-no reason in the past, either. But that's another story altogether. Do you intend to honor your promise?' 'Promise?' The boy felt intensely bewildered-he was talking to himself in his head-and one side remembered something the other didn't. 'YES-To stay here until Madame Pomfrey declares you well.' 'OH-that. Of course. I did promise, and a Malfoy ALWAYS keeps his word.' 'DOES he? Did your father? HE'S a Malfoy.' '.'  
  
Draco held a hand to his warm forehead and rolled over, trying to sleep.  
  
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Rhane stared in the mirror, the darkness engulfing her and her reflection. Her eyes were wide, unfocused. 'WHY? Why did I do such a thing? I still just don't understand WHY. Oh, I shall NEVER be alright again, my mind is completely dissolving, I swear it is!' The girl wiped away some tears-where had THEY come from?-and sighing, undressed, pulling on her nightgown and leaping into her bed, falling into a troubled sleep the moment she felt warm and snug under the feather blankets.  
  
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Draco cracked an eye open, realizing that someone was breathing over him. His silvery eyes widened, then narrowed at the sight of his father, Lucius Malfoy, standing over him with a wicked smile and a psychotic expression in his eyes.  
  
"What do you want, Father? Are you here to see HIM?" A frown of confusion fleetingly crossed the older Malfoy's face, then he laughed a soft little laugh. "No. That ended a long time ago, Draco. I hadn't realized you KNEW-clever boy. But-you should have told me sooner that you knew. I suppose you must be punished after all." "Don't say it like you never meant to. I KNOW you too well, Father. You came here to take out your pain-inflicting tendencies---curse them for my inheritance of them!---on me. I know you did---there is nothing I can do, is there?" With a soft, bitter smile, Lucius whispered, "Nothing."  
  
The tall, slender man lifted his son like a ragdoll, noting the boy's wince and restraint from a scream. He laughed softly, before drawing some rope from the bag of equipment he had brought specifically for this purpose. Stripping Draco of his top was simple enough, and Lucius took a moment to admire his handiwork on his child's back. "Nice. Very nice." He murmured in the satiny voice his son had also inherited.  
  
He tied the boy with his back up to the hospital bed, unafraid of being found. Grinning like a maniac, he drew out a knife. As he tested the edge against a finger, he spoke quietly. "So---the taste of blood is bitter, isn't it? Like candy gone horribly wrong, I've always thought." He laughed at his son's silence, and slowly began to carve an M into the boys back, right on his left shoulderblade. Lucius could almost hear the scream of agony the boy held in, and it thrilled him so much that he ran his tongue across the new wound. "Yes, definitely bitter. But---with that girl around, I suppose you KNOW what blood from a fresh-made wound tastes like, don't you?" Again, he received silence and this time, it irked him. Pulling out a cat-o- nine-tails, he decided a bit more intense measures were necessary.  
  
'Crack!' The whip hit five, six, ten, twelve, fifteen times.  
  
"Had enough?" His son didn't answer.  
  
'Crack!' Another five times.  
  
"P-please. I promised I would---I would---." Draco's soft voice was gritted with pain as he spoke, his voice full of emotion.  
  
"Promised? Promised what? Silly boy." Lucius put that whip back and pulled out a small utensil designed, it seemed, for leaving small circular scars. Slowly, he pressed it into his the boy's right shoulderblade and relished in the small outcry of pain. He pressed it repeatedly, into a four leaf clover pattern, then a rose pattern beneath it, enjoying the more frequent, louder cries from Draco. Suddenly, his concentration was broken by a small, delicate voice.  
  
"Please stop! He's already been dreadfully hurt by someone else! Please, oh PLEASE stop! I do not feel anything but pity and sometimes anger towards him, but he does not deserve THIS!"  
  
Lucius laughed and gave an odd smile as he turned. Curvy-figure, long brown-red hair, huge green eyes---yes, this was Rhane, the 'love' of his son's life. Here to rescue the boy? How---interesting. He walked right up to the girl, ignoring his son's feeble cry of 'Leave her alone, Father!'  
  
"So you are his father. I suspected as much." "Aren't YOU a brave little girl. My, my." He grabbed her chin and let his nails dig in.  
  
'Like father, like son---oh, please, don't let him try anything---I could never fight someone so much stronger! He is stronger than Draco, and Draco stronger than me. At least Draco is held in check by love-this strange man feels NOTHING for me but interest in my boldness!' "Perhaps I am. I simply ask that you leave Draco alone-I know you will not leave him alone forever, but PLEASE---at least until he has healed."  
  
Laughing, Lucius pulled up a small dagger and ran it dangerously close to Rhane's cheeks, impressed that she only widened her eyes a fraction of a hair and kept her face firmly set in an expression of confidence. He was even more amazed when he cut into the skin, ever so shallowly---it would not do to scar such a nice face---that she did not cry out or even show fear in those firey green eyes.  
  
"Very well, my lady. It seems my son shall be saved by a very wonderful lady indeed. But you can be certain that this isn't the last you'll see of me---you are marrying my son, love him or no, after all, my dear." He touched a finger to her bleeding cheek and licked the blood from it, reflective look on his face. "Yes, very much like candy. Sweet at first, and quite bitter afterwards, once the sweetness is gone." He turned and walked from the room with a quick, easy stride.  
  
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Rhane rushed to the battered Slytherin boy, seeing that he was half unconscious as it was. Quickly, she untied him, then ran for some bandages that were in a cabinet. After bandaging up the cuts that were bleeding profusely on Draco's back, Rhane helped him back into his top and the bed and looked down at him concerned. His lip was bleeding and trembling, his hands white and cold. Out of impulse and instinct, the brunette took one, he pity at its greatest height.  
  
He clenched her tiny hand as close as he could, his soft, broken voice cutting the silence. "Th-thank y-you, though I-I ca-cannot help but f-feel you may p-pay for that some-someday. Why-why were y-you here?"  
  
"I-I came to check on you. I slept well for a while, but kept tossing and turning, so I got up and snuck out to see if you were still alright." She felt an insufferable, intolerable blush creeping over her entire body--- thankfully, it was dark and therefore unnoticeable.  
  
"Thank y-you---." His tortured voice croaked softly again, but Rhane shhh- ed him and smiled weakly. "Don't talk. Sleep. You need it---sleep will help you heal. Please get some sleep, alright, Draco?"  
  
She went to pull her hand away gently, and was surprised, therefore, when the silver-haired boy pulled it to his still slightly bloody lips and touched it to them. "G'night, R-Rhane." He whispered, sinking into what she hoped was an honest sleep.  
  
Pulling her hand away at last, the Gryffindor girl suddenly felt overwhelmed at the events that had just occurred. Reaching up, she felt drying blood on her face. Sighing, she shook her head in dismay and walked over to the sink in the Hospital Wing, carefully rubbing her face with a towel dipped in cold water until the blood was mostly gone. Silent as a mouse, she returned to the Gryffindor Common Room and crawled back into bed. This time, Rhane told herself, she would SLEEP. And NOT wake up until morning.  
  
This she did.  
  
Author's Note: A little graphic, but---we've had our first Lucius and Rhane encounter! He knows who his son's fiancé is now! OOOOh.^_^ lala. Was that good? I hope so. It's very late, so I'm sure there are typos. lol^_^ 


	24. Poison

Never Lose Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Twenty-Four: Poison  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^ bad evening. Sarah knows what I mean. Stupid sister. She's EVIL. Ouch. It hurts to write-can't rest my elbow comfortably on anything. Arrgh.  
  
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'Did you know that rumors are like poison? Spreading through an area like the plague. People can't seem to stop whispering, No matter how much it hurts someone else.  
  
Do you see how it affects you? You stare, like a zombie, and for a moment, I feel resentful. Am I that hideous an idea? At least I provide a cover for your true lover.  
  
I don't know where the pain comes from inside, or why I feel so jealous, I can't explain it, and it seems like the act of a small child. Please save me from myself, I wish each night, each day. But I know that I will die, collapse in on myself in the end, because you do not love me.  
  
Love is the strongest poison known to man.'  
  
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Severus Snape's eyelids flickered slowly, adjusting to the sensation of waking up-another day had dawned, it seemed. Yawning, he stood up from his desk and stretched. It had been a terribly long night, and the Professor had simply fallen asleep at his desk, potion still sitting there, tome still clutched in his slim fingers. Sighing, he looked around-and spotted Rhane in the doorway, watching him.  
  
"Rhane! My, aren't you up early. Caught me still asleep, you did---why, whatever is the matter?" His brow furrowed in embarrassed puzzlement.  
  
The girl rushed to him and hugged him tightly to her, green eyes clenched tight and expression of ferocity on her face. "I-you look so amazingly sweet asleep." She whispered softly, in a voice full of emotion.  
  
Bemused, he closed his arms around her, resting his head on top of hers, still wondering whatever she meant by all this, anyways. The Potions Master pulled back and smiled a worried smile at his Beloved.  
  
"Whatever is the matter? Something, I know it. I know YOU too well to think nothing the matter. What's wrong, love?"  
  
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." She smiled so winningly that Snape felt all further questions freeze in his throat, which felt suddenly very dry. Holding her tightly, he relished the feeling of being completely at one with the world-at one with love, that ever-elusive emotion that tried to fool those who were entangled in its webs.  
  
Finally, the Potions Master drew back, looking down at Rhane's pale oval face, staring into the green eyes like pools of emerald-hued water, sparkling and deep. "I love you, you know. I tried so hard to deny it, I really did, but-I cannot fight the love of countless centuries. It is impossible." His voice was soft, slightly grating with emotion, and slid through the air to her ears like honey.  
  
"I know-I love you,too." Her mind added, to her anger and disapproval, 'but you aren't the only one I'm feeling strange feelings for-I just don't know WHY.' Sighing, Rhane smiled softly up at him, reaching one slim hand up to brush a lock of hair from one cheek.  
  
Then, all too soon, it was time for breakfast in the Great Hall. Giving a little sigh of frustration, Rhane beamed and, grabbing her bag, turned to go, waving from the door before vanishing off for the first meal of the day.  
  
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Rhane was very surprised indeed to see Draco at the Slytherin table. He was sitting very stiffly, obviously holding back what he was feeling-the physical pain must be intense, she knew. The brunette stared until he looked straight in her eyes, then, blushing slightly, she gave him a look that asked very clearly, 'why aren't you still in the Hospital Wing?'  
  
Draco tried to smile, but coughed quietly instead and said nothing at all.  
  
Rhane sat down at the Gryffindor table, many of whom were looking oddly at her and whispering amongst themselves. She shrugged it off and ate with speed and silence as her only companions. When finished, the girl walked to her first classroom, knowing Snape was still there, and determined not to appear concerned for Draco one bit.  
  
The brunette Gryffindor managed to make it through the entire class- difficult potion assignment and all-without looking over at Draco-a feat she suddenly realized was quite difficult. 'Why can I not stop thinking of him? I do NOT love him. Maybe I feel a little attracted to him-it's just the Florence Nightingale Complex! It HAS to be!' 'Mm-hmmm, RIGHT. Just keep telling yourself that, dear.' '---.'  
  
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At noon, Rhane hurried to the dead-end hallway. Sure enough, Draco was sitting there, robe, vest and shirt removed, wrapped in a feather-soft robe, apparently trying to make the wounds feel better.  
  
"WHY aren't you in the Hospital Wing? You PROMISED, Draco!" Rhane's voice was angry and rather hurt, to top it all off. It had a betrayed sort of tone to it that was unmistakable.  
  
"But-I was released from there by Madame Pomfrey this morning. She said that my collarbone was healed and my cough nearly gone-she gave me medicine to take for that-and that I needn't miss any more classes." His voice was quiet, but not anywhere near as broken as the night before.  
  
Before she could stop herself, Rhane found herself kneeling next to the Slytherin, hugging him gingerly, wary of his back. Flushing crimson, she recoiled as if touching something that would poison her by merely looking at it wrong.  
  
"I-." Was all that her voice would let out. "I-."  
  
Draco was smiling slightly, and he laughed a laugh that would have frightened her had he been in less pain and more capable of inflicting injury. "Never fear, Rhane. Little things like hugs and kisses on the cheek aren't going to fool me into thinking you love me. I know you don't, that these things are just a part of your nature when relieved or friendly. I know you could never love me the way I do you---I love you three billion times more even when I am hurting you so badly!" He looked forlorn, for an instant letting his true feelings show through, then pulled back on the mask of slightly bitter happiness. "Love is poison, I can see that now. It starts small, you don't even notice. Slowly, it spreads and you feel more pain, though you do not see its source or know why you are feeling it. Finally, it is in all of your veins and you know it for what it is, but it is too late, you are already doomed. Doomed---." The silver-blonde sighed and covered his face with one hand.  
  
'Doomed? Why do I feel suddenly stricken with a feeling of understanding at what he's saying? Love isn't poison-It ISN'T! I love someone who loves me, it is NOT poison!' 'But you also are falling for someone who you don't want to fall for, isn't THAT poisonous?' 'Bugger off.'  
  
Suddenly, she noticed something. A black envelope on the wall, just as before. Draco, spotting where Rhane stared, laughed. "Don't worry, I haven't opened it."  
  
Smiling weakly, the Gryffindor reached trembling fingers to pluck the letter from its spot on the wall. Opening the envelope, she unfolded the letter and began to read.  
  
*** Dearest Rhane,*** Ah, so close we were. Yet you came to save Draco, did you not? I know you did-you cannot lie to ME. Ah, well. You do not love him, though he loves you. Most interesting, this tangled web of emotions, is it not? Very like a Black Widow spider's lair. Anyways, I shall send another present with the next letter, so be expecting it, my love.  
  
***Until later, the one who loves you completely, without fail. ***  
  
Sighing, Rhane shook her head and put away the letter. At Draco's anxious, worried expression, she laughed. "Nothing of any importance---the same old foolish statements-nothing to worry about. Really." Grinning at him, the girl felt impulses shoot through her body that she completely ignored.  
  
Draco smiled slightly in return and pulled his robe closer together, yawning. It appeared that the slender boy was going to take a nap for the rest of lunch, needing the sleep desperately as he did. Rhane, as well, decided to take a nap, curling up and falling asleep next to the already- sleeping Slytherin.  
  
  
  
Author's note: Sorry for the short chapter, it's late and I am tired.^_________^ 


	25. Blood

Never Lose Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Twenty-Five: Blood  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^ cold. VERY cold. Lol^_^Evilness of having my computer in the garage.^_^' And no heater since about 2 years ago when my sis electrocuted herself slightly-it was just a shock-so..cold.  
  
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'Tangled webs of blood and fever rip through my mind, I expected your reactions to be alike in kind. De-haloed, wingless angels and disarmingly innocent devils, Within this life, chaos revels. Blood drips from my pale lips, And off of my fingertips. Runs in rivulets down my slim body and pools on the ground, Laughing maniacally at the peace I have found. Then suddenly I am awake and afraid, Worried of the things I have done and said. What is this feeling? The world, the sky and my heart are reeling. As they all sink into the darkest depths of despair, I whisper the smallest, quietest, most unheard prayer.'  
  
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Rhane sat up slowly, yawning and blinking in the light. 'Where am I? This doesn't LOOK like the Gryffindor Common Room---oh!' She had turned and spotted the still-sleeping Draco, for all the world as innocent-looking as an angel. Impulsively, the girl brushed one lock of silvery blond hair from his face, noticing that the bruise was fading from around his eye. The moment her fingers touched the soft, flaming skin, a chill ran through her body, tingling in her senses and causing her to draw back her hand swiftly, as if burned. Emerald eyes wide, the Gryffindor girl watched the still boy's mostly even breaths as he slept, just KNOWING that he would wake at any moment and not understanding why that seemed such a mixed blessing. Rhane didn't want to move, for fear of waking Draco, yet she knew she had to get up and go to class. 'Argh!'  
  
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Snape sat at his desk, though it was still hours until the first class began. He drummed his long, elegant fingers softly on the desktop, trying to remember what he had been trying so very hard to remember.  
  
'Now---what WAS it? I thought of Alin---and her husband, that good-for- nothing imbecile. What else? I thought of their son. What was his name?' He could swear it was something like Cyil, but---he couldn't really remember, though he knew that was what he'd been trying to remember before.  
  
Slamming his fists into the wood of the desktop, disappointed and disgruntled. He cursed himself mentally as he noticed the large splinter in one finger and the drop of blood beading from the point's crash into his skin. He put the offending digit in his mouth, sucking off the blood and biting at the splinter until he felt the texture of the wood, grainy and sharp.  
  
Removing the finger from his mouth, he pulled the splinter from it and sighed, watched another bead of blood form, ever-so-small, on the olive- tinted skin.  
  
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Rhane sighed as she pondered what to do. Smiling softly, gently, for no reason that she cared to think deeply upon, Rhane carefully touched his shoulder. When the only response was a slight shake, as if to rid himself of a pest, the girl sighed. He MUST wake, class would start without them, and their absence would be noted. Again, she poked his shoulder, slightly harder, but still taking great care not to pain him.  
  
Draco's silvery eyes fluttered slightly, the long black lashes exposing glimpses of half-drowsy pools of silver beneath. Yawning slightly, he mumbled, "Mmm---is that you, Rhane? I thought I'd dreamt the whole thing. Silly of me. I should know I didn't-I still feel all the pain, after all. I suppose you want me to get up so that I can go to class, right? But why wait on me? You could have left long ago, and left me to nap on, since you are not trapped under me like before. Why did you stay to wake me?"  
  
Rhane felt a flush spread over her cheeks and ears. She COULD have left him, she knew. But something inside her had forbidden her that course of action, had kept her from simply leaving him snoozing away in the dead-end hallway to miss all of his classes. 'And possibly be attacked by my stalker, who knows where I go, and might have realized Draco comes here to and come to finish him off, and have only been waiting for me to leave him alone.' 'Why should THAT matter?' 'Because-it's MY stalker, and Draco doesn't deserve to die for something he has no control over.' 'NOW you're DEFENDING his actions! I swear-I'll never figure you out, and I AM you!' 'Shut up. This has nothing to do with the way he normally treats me. He deserves more than that, he can't help but behave the way his father does. And yet---he tries to be different than Lucius, I KNOW he does. I can tell.' 'Riiiight. And what else can you tell?' '---that you need to bugger off.'  
  
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Draco smiled bemusedly as he struggled to raise himself up. Though he had managed the previous day, that had been so stiffly, and he was sorely reminded of the pain his father had inflicted when he awoke. It all felt fresh and burned into his skin, searing with a white-hot fire that made every movement a chore, made every movement produce a wince from the pain. Trying to keep it from his expression, Draco gave a slightly bitter smile and managed to pull himself halfway up. To his surprise, Rhane extended on small, slender hand down to assist his upward movement.  
  
"Thank---thank you." The Slytherin managed, slightly stunned, as he took the help offered and rose.  
  
He blinked several times, even more taken aback as she pulled his shirt and school robe from the floor, dusted them off and cast a small dewrinkling spell on the shirt-a minor charm, really-and helped him put them on. His pale face flushed a crimson shade as she buttoned the front of the shirt, and tucked it in with a no-nonsense attitude that contradicted her own firey blush. Leaning back down, Rhane retrieved his vest and pulled it gently over his now-ruby hued face, then pulled on the robe.  
  
"There. Now we can go to class. At least if WE walk in together, no one will REALLY mind." 'Except Snape. But I can explain it all to him, he is my love, he shall believe me.'  
  
Sighing, Rhane helped Draco grab his bag, then grabbed her own and walked briskly to class.  
  
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Draco sat down, wincing slightly, but holding a calm expression nonetheless, noticing the looks and the whispers, but not caring. Taking out his notebook, he decided that the itch to write was far too strong to deny, and so he began.  
  
'I laugh in your face now because you've been seen, You think you can win-and once that might have been. But now you shall perish, as I know I will too, Beaten by the one whom I love true. She shot me down, killed me inside, far more than you ever could, I'm sure you'd have done the same-I know you would. I love her as I hate you, she hates me as I love her, I probably would be better off letting myself smother. If she had not come to save me, I might have let you kill me- And yet she came, and opened my eyes, enabling me to see.  
  
I will never let you defeat me, though you may believe you've one- I may not have much power against you, but I am your only son. Without me, you would have no heir, no one to carry on the name- And so, in truth, I hold the true key, for you dare not make me completely lame. I hate you, I love her, she hates me-I smile. And my blood flows freely all the while. No one seems to notice as I die, Would anyone see fit to cry?'  
  
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Suddenly, Draco was aware of a small shadow standing over him. He looked straight up-into Rhane's wide, emotional green eyes. In a soft, strained voice, she whispered, "I would cry." Then her eyes flew open wider, like saucers, and the blush returned to her cheeks as she held one small hand to her mouth in shock. Turning, she ran straight out the door, bag and all, leaving Draco stunned- the last one in the classroom with a rather irked Professor Snape.  
  
After taking one look at the advancing Severus Snape, Potions Master, and the anger boiling in his dark eyes, Draco grabbed his bag and notebook and ran as fast as his bruised and scraped legs would carry him, worrying about the pain only later, when he stopped, safely in his next classroom.  
  
Author's Note:Sorry for the short chapter, I intended to add another one-I might, still, if the idea takes me. I'll try to add one at least tomorrow.^_^Enjoy!^_^ 


	26. Darkening

Chapter Twenty-Six: Darkening  
  
  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The song lyrics at the end of this chapter belong to Chevelle's 'Closure'.The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^Sorry if this format sucks,I'm on my grandmom's comp. Too cold in garage---Yay for Dish network and the Power Rock channel!!! Inspiration-ness!!!!!!^_^; :cheers:I'm back at last!^_^; The song Closure by Chevelle was VERY inspiring, especially for this chapter..it just describes Draco's feelings so well..^_^  
  
****************************************************************** THANKS EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED, I'LL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU INDIVIDUALLY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OR SO!!!! THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!^_____________^YOUR SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH!^_^  
  
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'I feel so alone and confused, Am I just being used? I don't understand, maybe I never was meant to, But I wanted a little more time to think it all through. Everything moving so much too fast, Feels like each breath may be my last. Don't know what's going on, why are you acting this way? I can only hope that things this way shall not stay.  
  
Am I supposed to read your mind? Why do you say those things and act so kind? I cannot claim to know what you are about, I'm more used to pain from those with a tendency to shout. Why can't you behave more like what I'm used to? But no-I don't really want that, I'm the one who should change, not you. You are an angel, far beyond my reach, I should never have tried, but you can only learn what someone will teach.  
  
Worlds reflect from my eyes. Like so many broken promises and lies. I never understood why, I never could understand, Maybe that's why my mother ignored me and obeyed my father's command. I'm broken, shattered inside and out with no hope for salvation, Then you appear, clothed in light like a vision. And still I do not know why, you make no sense at all, And it's too late to say, 'Caution, don't fall!'  
  
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Draco stood, breathing heavily, in the empty classroom. As his heartbeat slowed back to normal, he tried to make sense of what was going on. 'She---read my poem. The one I was writing---.' He held a hand to his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "She would cry---what's that supposed to mean?" The silvery- blonde haired Slytherin whispered, voice full of confusion and slightly cracked from the pain of running here with scraped and bruised legs. Sighing, Draco slumped into an empty desk and tried to figure out exactly what was going on inside his mind.  
  
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Rhane stared into the mirror. She didn't know WHAT had made her say that---so foolish! Why? Where had it come from? It just---made no sense at all. The brunette knew why she'd read it, of course-She wrote poetry on occasion. Usually to accompany pieces of artwork, but---not always. They were superb for catharsis, and Rhane generally had a lot of emotion to let out. Slowly, the Gryffindor withdrew a small notebook from the bottom of a trunk, and opened it---what had her last poem been? Ah, yes, there it was-  
  
'The leaves are bleeding, Can you hear them sing? Songs of life come to its end, Lives which ended without a single friend. Beautiful little things which did no harm, Even in death, they hold such charm.  
  
Do you see the sky cry? It is because of humanity-the ultimate lie. Under her all-encompassing arms we cheat, murder and wrong, While half of us feel we don't belong. Love doesn't matter to this world, it's only how much you make, Or how many lives you can corrupt and take.  
  
The river is in mourning, For its beauty humanity is scorning. We have forgotten that beauty is not how thin something is, Or even how well it can kiss. Beauty is reflected in every corner, in every eye, If only the person would look past it all and really try.'  
  
Rhane gave a wry smile. It seemed like such a simple poem now---Her life had been so uncomplicated-unrequited love was there, then, yes--- but none of this confusion, this inner turmoil. Sighing, the girl shook herself and stood up, grabbing her bag again and heading from her Common Room to her next class.  
  
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In a small, dark corner of the hallway, a pair of deep violet eyes raised slightly from a piece of black paper the slim figure was taping to the wall. A soft, strange smile graced the boy's sensuous lips, barely pink against eggshell-white skin. He gave a little laugh and walked from the hall, keeping to the shadows all the while.  
  
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'Finally' Rhane thought to herself when lunch arrived. Swiftly moving, she reached the hall after a few minutes. It didn't take long for the brunette to find the letter. Looking around to see if anyone was around, Rhane opened it.  
  
*** Dearest Rhane, fair angel of all that is good, ***  
  
I grow impatient with waiting for you to catch a glimpse of me. Please meet me tonight in the gardens at midnight. I shall await you with the greatest of anticipation and grace.  
  
***The shadow-walking boy of mystery who can only live for you.***  
  
Rhane stared. 'Should I go? I mean---it might not be SAFE.' 'Feh. What makes you think so?' 'Well---Draco got hurt by this person---and he said that this boy was not a nice person---.' 'And you're going to listen to HIM??!' 'Erm---well---I guess not---Alright, then. I'll go. I'm sure I can handle it.'  
  
The brunette Gryffindor became worried when she didn't see Draco at all at lunch, but brushed it off in order to carry on with her day.  
  
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Draco stared at the wall. He didn't want to leave just yet, the classroom had been empty all day and, though he knew that if he didn't leave soon, the door might just lock or some such strange thing, but--- he was still trying to work everything out. Finally, after several minutes, the silver-blonde boy came to and seemed to realize what time it was. 'WHAT? Oh, bloody---bugger it all! I've missed half a day! And Rhane-what is she doing? Where is she? What if that idiot tries something? I have to leave here now!' He all but threw himself from the desk and burst out of the classroom-fortunately, no one was passing by to see him coming out of there-and rushed to the hall. Rhane, of course, was not there.  
  
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Rhane walked out into the dark shadows of the gardens, peering about. "Hello?" She called in a whisper. Worried, she was about to turn back when a soft, silky voice met her ear.  
  
"Walk a bit further, please. Just past that next arbor."  
  
Feeling a bit disconcerted, Rhane followed the directions given her. "Are you here, then?" The Gryffindor asked with a bit of sarcasm tinting her voice.  
  
A musical laugh issued from right next to her ear. She whirled about and found her eyes meeting a pair of deep, dark violet ones, rimmed darkly with black and heavily lashed with fine, jet black eyelashes, contrasting starkly with skin as pale as the moon. Rhane heard herself gasp and took a step back.  
  
"Do not be afraid. I realize my appearance is rather startling-I am so pale, with such black hair and garments, and such odd, vivid eyes. But I assure you I mean you no harm, no, the opposite. I love you very much indeed." He had been slowly moving forward, and Rhane found herself pinned against the arbor.  
  
"Wh-what do you want? You should know I do not love you."  
  
His eyes widened, then narrowed as he spat, "Well, who DO you love? It isn't DRACO, I know that much! You could not prefer HIM to ME." He pulled her to him, slowly, slowly, with one arm around her waist.  
  
She stared. It all felt like a dream-or a nightmare. "Please---do not ask me the ways of my heart. I fear to tell you, you see, and so I will not. Please release me and let me return to my safe, warm bed in my Common Room."  
  
He shook his head ever-so-slightly and leaned forward. His lips brushed her eyes and took in the moisture of her tears, then slowly brushed her lips.  
  
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Draco stared at the note he'd found, foolishly left there by an impatient Rhane. She was probably out there right now! He had to go there, to save her, before it was too late---even though he knew he was in no condition to do so, for he was just as bad if not worse off as he was the last time he'd confronted that imbecile. But that imbecile was persuasive and good at getting his way. 'Please don't let me be too late.' With that thought, the Slytherin rushed for the gardens.  
  
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"Please---release me---I must go back to bed."  
  
"But you came out here, which means you wanted to know me. If you wanted to know me, then you must have known this would happen. You knew I would snog you the minute you made the choice to come out here alone. And so I did."  
  
"No-I came out here to ask you to please stop. I cannot bear to hurt someone's heart, but I cannot allow you to continue deluding yourself when I cannot feel the same about you. "  
  
The pale boy's response was to lower his lips back on hers, to deliver a kiss more passionate by far than any she'd felt before.  
  
Suddenly, a voice broke into the silence, and for once, Rhane felt herself thanking everything that Draco was there. For it was indeed the silver-blonde Slytherin, limping slightly and incredibly, furiously angry.  
  
But this time, the anger was not directed at Rhane.  
  
"WHAT are you DOING??!" Draco's silvery eyes flashed, his hands balled into fists.  
  
"Nothing." Purred the quiet, smooth voice of the violet-eyed boy. A sleek eyebrow arched and the lips formed a small, wry smile.  
  
"I SAW you. Don't deny it! She TOLD you to leave her alone and let her return to her room!"  
  
"Who are YOU to condemn ME? Isn't that a bit like the pot calling the kettle black?" Those meek violet eyes were livid now as he tensed up, like a cat about to spring.  
  
Draco's eyes died and his fists lowered as his body trembled. "You're right. Who AM I to tell you anything?"  
  
In that moment of weakness, the pale youth leapt, his first blow landing in the side, and nearly knocking Draco to the ground. His second swift blow, carried out before Draco could even react, hit the other side and did knock the Slytherin down. In a desperate attempt to keep from being kicked while down, Draco grabbed the other boy's arm and pulled him viciously down with him, letting his nails dig into the skin there.  
  
The boy appeared unharmed, however, the smile becoming wider and more genuine. "Forget something, Draco? I'm a masochist. Pain is something I like. Besides, why fight me? You know that I'm doing just as you have before. I have a right as much as you, and you cannot tell me I am wrong. Go ahead, try. Hypocrite."  
  
Draco stared, unable to stop the tears that formed in his silver eyes, formed from pain and realizations that he had never wanted to stumble upon. The dark-clad boy stood and dusted himself off with a slightly superior look on his face. "Farewell, Draco, Lovely Rhane. I shall meet with you another time, Rhane, dear." He vanished into the shadows and Rhane rushed over to Draco.  
  
"Are---are you alright?" Her voice caught with worry and a little bit of fear.  
  
'Fear. That's all she feels for me. Fear, and disgust. I'm no better than HIM. No better than dirt."  
  
He pulled away from her after she had helped him to his feet and limped to the hallway next to her Common Room in silence, holding the more painful side with one arm.  
  
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When they reached the hall, Draco turned to walk away, still silent.  
  
Rhane grabbed his shoulder, gently as possible, but still making him wince, and asked in a demanding voice, "What's wrong? Why are you so quiet? Please---tell me what is wrong."  
  
He stared at her with broken eyes and spoke softly while pulling away, pushing her hand from his shoulder with careful, slow movements.  
  
"I---I know now that I am no better than he is. I don't deserve anything from someone like you-not pity, not even friendship, and I certainly don't deserve what I thought I did-your love. I am worthless. Please, hate me as you will, despise me as you must him, but do not try and stop me. I know what I am, what I have been." The silvery-blonde haired Slytherin turned and walked away, his back receeding jerkily as he limped to his Common Room, leaving a stunned Rhane behind.  
  
"Why?" Her voice was soft, hurt. 'But---it pains me so much---how? Why? I should be happy-he is gone now. But, I am not-I am the opposite of happy. I don't understand!' Turning, she spoke the password and rushed up the stairs, throwing off her clothes and on her nightgown and flung herself into bed, letting the soundless tears work their way into the pillows.  
  
Author's Note: WHEE! Did you all enjoy that? A bit short, I think, but.oh well. And no, this is NOT the last chapter or anything.^_^ Have fun, please! Yay! ((Poor Draco...Here's the song that inspired me a bit as I was typing tonight.^_^  
  
'Closure' by Chevelle-  
  
Breathe, trust, bless me and release Climb hard or never be seen Closed off rescue to breathe Just bless me  
  
Two-sided time Your rebirth can't hurt Branch out behind The pain  
  
Closure has come to me myself You will never belong to me Closure has come to me myself You will never belong to me!  
  
Had to turn and lay down You're the sting of disease Phase you out should've seen this coming Go on confusing this soul Hold my breath til you rupture  
  
Three days aside Your rebirth can't hurt Branch out behind Pride  
  
Closure has come to me myself You will never belong to me Closure has come to me myself You will never belong to me!  
  
Like a leech I hold on as if we belonged To some precious pure dream Cast off, you've seen what's beneath Now fail me!  
  
Forget closure Forget closure Forget closure Forget closure!  
  
Closure has come to me myself You will never belong to me (No!) Closure has come to me myself You will never belong to me! (To me! No!) 


	27. Rebirth

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Rebirth  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'.The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Disturbed is very inspiring, too...^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^Sorry if this format sucks,I'm on my grandmom's comp.:cheers:I'm back at last!^_^; I'm sorry it took so long.I was very depressed for a bit, much more than usual.but I've managed to bury it mostly now, so.back to writing.^_^;  
  
****************************************************************** THANKS EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED, I'LL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU INDIVIDUALLY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OR SO!!!! THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!^_____________^YOUR SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH!^_^ ESPECIALLY SINCE I MADE YOU ALL WAIT!!!!!  
  
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'Never does the pain end, Even with the tears and the blood- Even with the cries and the despair- It consumes all and kills the soul.  
  
I did not realize anything, I still do not understand what I am feeling- So lost and without any hope of anything turning out right- I feel the pain devour me.  
  
Never does the pain end, Even with the release of emotions- Even with the will to see you happy- It destroys my being and leaves me hollow.  
  
I thought I could just let you go, That I would be alright, That I could hide the agony inside my mind- I was wrong.  
  
And now the pain will never go away, You are gone from my grasp- I let go to let you live a life without the misery I inflict- But you still haunt me and I know it will never end, Even as I become nothing because you were my everything.'  
  
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Draco sat atop the green satin coverlet on his bed, arms curled round his drawn-up knees, staring out the window nearest him at the full moon. As he watched the skies, all bright against the inky velvet night sky, the Slytherin felt a cold tear splash down his smooth cheek. Slowly, almost without intent, Draco rubbed the tear into the skin until it was gone. Without warning, he threw his head into his knees, letting his silver- blonde hair hide his face from the path of moonlight that was guided towards him by the little window.  
  
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Rhane lay awake in her bed. She had been trying to sleep for hours, but had found herself incapable of it-only able to toss and turn-and wonder. Wonder why she felt so broken now, why she suddenly felt-attached somehow-to Draco Malfoy, who had once been her hated, feared archenemy, as well as abusive stalker.  
  
"Why do I feel this way? I don't understand. I should only love one person- ONE person! It makes no sense, no sense at all! I cannot love him, it is insane to think this way!" the Gryffindor whispered to herself, staring into the darkness that her own hands covering her eyes created.  
  
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The moonlight alit on another face, as well. Eggshell-white skin gleamed whiter in the moonlight and the shadows created on the delicate features were blacker than the darkest of evil hearts. Strands of ink seemed to fall across the face-wayward hair that had nowhere else to go. Dark purple eyes stared up from the garden at the silver orb overhead. One slim hand was clutched to his head, his long, tapered fingers covering one of his eyes.  
  
"What have I done wrong? I tried so very hard-everything girls like, I supplied her with. Presents, thoughtful and expensive, salvation, dark romance-What more could she want?! She could not possibly want Draco. Not HIM over me. NEVER. So WHO?! There must be someone. I will find him out, and then-then I will destroy him, somehow, from being anywhere near this competition." His voice was soft yet held an edge that cut through the misty shroud of the still night.  
  
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The dawn hit the closed eyes of Rhane with blinding intensity. Squeezing her eyes to keep them shut, the Gryffindor girl slowly managed to climb from bed, stretch, and adjust to the fact that it was morning. Sighing, she began to dress and go through her usual routine. Finally, Rhane grabbed her books and notebook, and headed out of the Common Room. As she exited, she saw the retreating back that had become so familiar to her lately.  
  
"Draco! Wait, please!" Although part of her screamed 'What ARE you DOING?!?,' the rest of her wanted to take away the broken look in Draco's eyes-as well as the broken feeling in her own heart that she could not explain.  
  
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Slowly, Draco turned. Rhane heard herself gasp at the haunted, pained look in the Slytherin's eyes. The torture in his silvery eyes seemed so great, so deep, that Rhane could not stop herself. Before she realized, she was next to him, her hand touching his cheek. He turned away, without a word, but was stopped short suddenly, his eyes widening with shock and a little confusion.  
  
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Rhane held Draco close to her, her head against his back, for only a few moments, but it seemed as if eternity came and went, as if something had frozen everything. Within a space of a moment, however, she had released him, and felt the flush rising to her face, inching its way towards outward expression of her humiliation.  
  
"Please-I may not love you-but I know I can help you. You benefit not at all while alone in your misery, not with the kind of family-er-pain-you have. Please don't try to tune me out because you think you need to let me go completely, or because you're afraid you will keep treating me the way you have."  
  
Then, Draco spoke, his voice cracking slightly with emotion. "AFRAID I WILL? I KNOW I will, because I cannot help it. Think about THAT before you ask that I not try to 'tune you out,' Rhane." With one swift motion, he seemed to surge with strength, and shoved her into the nearest wall, face split-seconds from hers, odd look in his eyes. He lowered his mouth onto hers and viciously kissed her, biting sometimes and sometimes simply enjoying the taste of her blood. When he pulled back, he clutched his head.  
  
"I'm sorry-but that's just-the way I am. I cannot help-."  
  
"I know." Rhane's voice trembled slightly as she spoke, but slowly began to gain confidence. "But I don't care-NOT that I don't MIND-but I can handle it, as long as I can help you. And I believe I CAN help you. It may take time-but-."  
  
Draco nodded. "Alright. And I promise I will-try to stop myself. But I'm not making any guarantees, I know I won't be able to do something like holding myself back forever. But as long as that's understood-."  
  
Rhane gave one nod and attempted a smile.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
Draco felt himself smile inside, though the smile did not let out bright enough rays to burn through the mists of chaos and confusion inside his mind. Perhaps things would change-even just a little. Perhaps not, but-at least there was HOPE, even though it was merely a tiny speck, almost too small to see at all.  
OOC: Well, there you are!! Hope it was alright, I know it wasn't my best- sorry it's short.^_^; 


	28. Gossamer

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Gossamer  
  
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only characters I own are Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'.The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^), the mystery stalker, Snape's previous lover and her husband. Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Disturbed is very inspiring, too...^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^Well, I'm finally back and quite a bit older in experience than when I left. I'm sorry, but I've been going through a LOT of family trauma and personal, emotional trauma as well as increasingly worse depression. However, I got the urge to right again tonight after a very good day Friday, so here I am. ^_^Thank you, all who haven't given up on me. For those who asked for more Snape, here you are-More of his past and the previous lover he had.and why he's bitter. Also, To anyone wondering why Madame Pomfrey never spoke out about what she suspects and sees with Draco-Lucius Malfoy is pretty powerful. I doubt she'd want to try and see if she can beat him in a battle of law-he'd find some way to finagle his way out of it and then come back to take care of HER. ^_^ oy.the person I like was chewing on his lip nervously the other day and bit it and it bled and he touched it to see if he was bleeding and his finger came back all bloody, so he realized he was, obviously..it was bizarre, but it made me think of my story, and suddenly, I wanted to write some more.let's not even go into THAT connection, shall we? O_o  
  
**************************************************************** THANKS EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED, I'LL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU INDIVIDUALLY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OR SO!!!! THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!^_____________^YOUR SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH!^_^ ESPECIALLY SINCE I MADE YOU ALL WAIT!!!!!  
  
**************************************************************** 'Memories are soft and beat against my skin like hopes long gone,  
  
Gossamer wings flutter and vanish beyond my line of vision.  
  
It is you with the wings, for try as I might, my memories hold me down, Tied to their soft, persuasive song and everything that has been and cannot be again.  
  
I know the silken chains of gossamer that keep me down, So dear to my heart, cannot take your place-  
  
But I worry that they might keep me from taking mine.'  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Snape lay awake, staring at the ceiling in the darkness yet again. He had not spoken to Rhane in so long-weeks, it seemed. He should feel relieved, but somehow, the Potions professor simply felt-saddened. Incredibly saddened. Her hold on his heart had such a grip and though he hadn't realized it, he needed her more that he would ever have believed.  
  
'I guess it's true what they say-You never know what you've got until it's gone.' Severus thought to himself, almost musingly. Frustrated, he rubbed his forehead and ran a hand over the top of his head. The last time he had been so bemused and felt so very alone had been quite a long time ago.quite a long time indeed. Snape began to search his memory for the images, the scenes, of that past. He had been so young-perhaps a year younger than Rhane was now. He had known Alin since his first year at Hogwarts, and had tried so very hard to impress her. Finally, in his fourth year, she had come up to him unexpectedly the day before a small dance in celebration of O.W.L. scores being higher than ever before. Severus Snape remembered it like it was yesterday.  
  
****************************************************************  
  
"Will you go with me to the dance?" The bell-like voice rung out clear into the incredulous ears. Inky hair flowed from a face of soft, pale gold. Eyes of silver stared down at the olive-toned boy who normally felt like an outcast that no one could ever want.  
  
"W-what did you say?" He whispered, his voice cracking badly with shock.  
  
Her soft, slanted eyes laughed and she grinned. "My name is Alin Meriole. Please be my escort to tomorrow night's dance, Severus. I really like you quite a lot-you seem so fascinating and mysterious, which is always wonderful for someone like me. I mean, look at me! I'm so boring-" Her mouth playfully smirked and her eyes narrowed with the expression, though it was a cheerful narrowing.  
  
"I-I don't know what to say-"  
  
"Say yes, of course! You can pick me up tomorrow night five minutes before the party. Be on time. See you then, Severus!-Can I call you Sev?"  
  
"I-sure." The young man's mind reeled with sudden surges of emotion and confusion. He-HE had a date!  
  
They attended the dance the next night to everyone's surprise. Even more shocking was the fact that Snape seemed to have observed all the rules of hygiene. His hair was even sparklingly clean and brushed, and he actually looked fairly good for someone who'd spent many years of neglecting physical appearance while nurturing the mind instead.  
  
"Come on! You're not a bad dancer-we just need to be somewhere away from the crowds for a bit. Let's go for a walk, alright?" Without waiting for an answer, she smiled irresistibly and tugged on his arm until he followed her without being prompted. As they neared the middle of the garden, she stopped and smiled up at him.  
  
"Your hair looks beautiful like that, Sev. Keep it up, please-it's  
truly an amazing transformation-I always liked you for your mind, but  
now- now I see I can like the way you look, as well." Alin leaned forward, face upturned rather expectantly.  
  
Severus stared down at her closed eyes and upturned face. Although he  
both did and did not know what he was doing, he was still a teenage  
boy, and there are some things that do not require prompting or  
perfect knowledge of to do. Their lips met in a very awkward kiss,  
which soon melted as she took over and it turned more passionate. When  
they finally separated, Alin smiled.  
  
"I think I might just fall in love with you, Sev. Let's not let this  
be our last date, alright?"  
  
All he could do was nod dumbly, still in shock with the stains of red  
lipstick on his lips.  
  
Laughing, the raven-haired girl wiped the lipstick from his lips with  
one black glove before grabbing his hand and pulling him back into the  
dance.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Snape remembered that night well enough, yes indeed. It was the  
first thing he remembered when he looked into that old mirror. The  
second was how he'd received that mirror in the first place.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
"Come on, Sev! I have a present for you!"  
  
Laughing, Severus rolled his eyes and tried not to feel embarrassed as  
a few other Slytherins looked over at them in the Common Room.  
  
"Why in the world do you have a present for me, Lin?" He asked, using  
the nickname she had chosen for herself.  
  
Giggling, Alin half yelled, "Because we've been dating for a month,  
and I wanted to be romantic, silly!"  
  
Snape's face burned red under the force of all the attention this  
statement brought.  
  
"Alright, what is it?"  
  
She handed him a package all in black and red, her silver eyes shining  
with happiness. Severus opened it slowly and pulled out the most  
gorgeous mirror he had ever seen. Slightly oval, with a squared  
effect in four places on the edge and delicate filigree all around the  
piece of mirror in the center, it looked like it had been quite  
expensive.  
  
"But-I have nothing to give you-" He whispered sadly, looking down at  
his second-hand school robes, patched in places. His family wasn't as  
rich as Alin's, and while they weren't the poorest, they were  
spendthrifts, and he rarely received even a Knut or two for his own  
spending.  
  
"That's alright, dear." The girl smiled, but he could see she felt a  
little hurt, and he resolved to get her something-even if only flowers-  
the next day.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Snape laughed softly to himself on the inside. He should have  
known she would become dissatisfied with him. Although she had been  
much like Rhane in enthusiasm, she had always been bolder-as well as  
much more superficial than the auburn-haired girl who was taking her  
place in his heart. Yes, superficiality-that was what had turned her  
head when Samuel Tyrin had come along, just five months after the  
mirror incident. Then, seven months later, she'd hit him with  
something that had destroyed his teenage heart and scarred him  
emotionally for a long time to come.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
"Severus."  
  
Snape's head snapped up. He knew something was wrong when she called  
him by his full name. Softly, he replied, "Yes, Lin?"  
  
"I-I'm sorry, but-I can't see you anymore. That is, we can't see each  
other. I'm engaged to Samuel-Samuel Tyrin. Remember? We met him about  
two months ago, at that interesting party the Ravenclaws were having-  
Well, we've secretly been meeting and going places together, and last  
night he asked me to marry him. I said yes, of course, and-I'm so  
very sorry, but you and I cannot exist anymore. It was fun, Severus,  
but-I'm going to be married as soon as I graduate from Hogwarts.  
Goodbye, Severus."  
  
And she turned and walked away from him, catching up to her new  
fiancé a few feet away. As she took Samuel's hand, the other man  
turned and gave a better-than-you smirk that reflected deep into his  
violet eyes, and then turned back to whisper something to Alin, making  
her laugh demurely and flutter her lashes.  
  
With all the passion in his soul, Severus hated Samuel, and worse,  
hated what had happened to him with the experiment of being in love.  
All because Samuel was handsome and wealthy, the one he had loved,  
whom had claimed to love him, had left without so much as a regret!  
Swearing loudly, Snape returned to his room and began to angrily claw  
at the mirror, scratching it deeply and breaking several nails in the  
process. Finally, he collapsed into a silently sobbing, shaking heap  
on the ground.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Professor Snape sighed, remembering that day all too well. No,  
Rhane was not as much like Alin as he had thought, at first. Really,  
they were very different-it was only the experience of falling in love  
that had made them similar, he supposed. Closing his eyes, he  
remembered what had happened next.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
The days and weeks had flown by, then, suddenly, he was out of  
school and applying for the position of Professor. It had been a  
month into his new career, when he received the invitation.  
'You are cordially invited to the wedding of Samuel Tyrin and Alin  
Meriole. You must rsvp. It is in two weeks. Please dress  
accordingly. Thank you.'  
  
He had crumpled the letter, but had done as the invitation instructed.  
Two weeks passed quickly, and he found himself dressed as nicely as  
possible, walking up the drive to the mansion the wedding was to take  
place in-one of Tyrin's many homes, he had heard.  
  
After the wedding, the world went by in a blur until he had received a  
letter, many years later, announcing the birth of 'Sir Samuel and Lady  
Alin Tyrin's firstborn son, Cyir Kurill Tyrin. (THAT was the boy's  
name, he remembered now!)  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Snape smiled sadly. Ah, well, that was all in the past-no need  
to worry about it. It seemed as though something heavy, and yet  
gossamer-soft lifted from his body, allowing him to fall into a deep,  
peaceful sleep as the night wore on.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you enjoyed the connections with Snape's past. An  
interlude from the always-in-your-face action going on normally. Enjoy  
the Snapey goodness. Thank you, as always, for your patience with me-I  
just found a new band I LOVE-Iced Earth. The songs 'Dracula' and 'I  
Died For You' are AMAZING. TRULY.^_^ Until next time, which will be  
soon! 


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